Hello Frypanians (Or Whatever They Call You)

I have been generously given the trust of being a guest poster. Oh what an honour. Freya will probably regret this. I'm Freya's friend, and unlike her, I don't really know much about stuff, so allow me to educate you folks about the art of lying. Because lying is fun. I take a business course. 

HOW TO BE A GOOD LIAR:

1: Don't Try Too Hard

Okay so people typically will go out of their way to make it look like they are not lying. They'll stare into the victim's eyes without blinking and be absolutely stiff. Yeah, don't do that. Instead, take note of how you act in real circumstances and apply that to your lie. 

2: Make Yourself Believe What You're Saying

This one might be a little bit hard, but it works pretty well. I once came up with a lie that was so good, even I forgot it was a lie. It usually only works for fibs that contain believable circumstances (ex: was doing homework the other night instead of watching TV). 

3: Don't Act Suspicious

Well this one is obvious. Do not:

- Bite your lip

- Touch your face

- Have exaggerated facial expressions

- Breathe fast

- Be stiff

- Be fidgety

- etc.

4: Smile With Your Eyes

This tip is extremely useful, especially for white lies.

"Hey what did you think of my presentation?"

"It was great!" *Smiles*

No it wasn't great. but if you put on a pleasant smile involving your entire face, you can make it seem like you genuinely enjoyed a presentation about why people should consider going vegan. 

SPOTTING A LIAR

This one is hard to explain, but you can kind of just figure it out. It comes to you. The obvious signs are unbelievable lies, fidgeting, blushing, shifty eyes, and repeatedly adjusting their shirt. It's also easy to tell if someone is lying if they tend to lie a lot and if you know them well enough, you can figure it out from there. Another trick, which is a favourite of mine, is interrogation. Here is an example of how it goes (true story):

Me: I'm not an only child, I have a twin brother

Person: Really? I also have a twin! 

[PAUSE] I have known this person for a while now, and from previous scenarios, she tries really hard to fit in with others. So that was my first clue that it might be a lie. [And so the interrogation begins]

Me: Wow, I never knew that! Boy or girl?

Person: Oh she's my sister. 

Me: Wow that must be fun. Are you guys identical?

Person: Nope. Here, I have a picture.

[I am shown a picture of a girl that looks nothing like her. Not much of a chance that she's a twin]

Me: Cool! How have I never seen her before? I mean, my brother would never come and watch me do ballet (this conversation was at ballet class), but it would be nice to meet your sister.

Person: Um no, she's actually in a um national ballet academy in a different provice. 

[PAUSE] This is easy. But I'm not going to tell her that she's lying. Because what benefit would I get out of that? She would be embarrased, might even deny it. Anyways, with some critical thinking, you can determine why it's a lie. [CONTINUE]

Me: Oh well she must be an amazing dancer. 

Just don't piss anyone off and you should be fine. And remember: