Erasmus's Folly is Jestermaxxing

This meme is original content made by yer girl ;)

What's up fam? We're going to get a little deep on this post lol. Sorry if it sounds a bit like traumadumping at first. But I promise it will get into some interesting analysis of old books later. I will talk a bit about Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, but the majority of this post will be about Erasmus's In Praise of Folly (1511). 

As someone in their twenties, I can not understand why society or the media tends to portray this as the most fun and desirable age. I do believe it is better than childhood or teenage years, simply because I feel more in control of my life now. Children's lives are entirely controlled by adults, which of course they kind of need to be for their safety. But it means they can not really pursue freewillmaxxing, for example by exploring interests, hobbies, beliefs, and friendships that their parents may not approve of. My favourite part of adulthood is getting to freewillmaxx and explore new ideas, sometimes reaching the conclusion that my parents were right about something and sometimes not. Getting to do stuff for myself without having to depend on others is also great, and of course the best part about being over 18 is that Discord mods leave you alone (if you know, you know). 

However, I simply can not accept the idea that this is supposed to be the BEST decade of your life. To me, that sounds crazy since you'll still have at least 40 years of your life left when you're 30 (and most likely more than that). The older you get, the safer you are from Discord mods too! Why do people act like their life ends at 30? I feel like a lot of historical figures I admire didn't even accomplish shit until they were older than 30, so I find this romanticization of youth completely bonkers. John Milton was in his 50s when he was writing Paradise Lost!!!! Why is everyone falling for the propaganda that 20s = best time in life???? I hated my childhood. And I hold the opinion that being in my 20s is better than being a child, and I also look forward to my 30s. And my 40s. Yes. I don't care if that sounds crazy. I AM EXCITED ABOUT GETTING OLDER.

People also romanticize the beauty of youth. But I think it takes a man or woman of culture and sophistication to appreciate mature beauty. It's literally like the difference between one of those AI generated anime-inspired images and like, the Sistine Chapel, but whatever. Just say you like flashiness and instant gratification. "Look how the images dance and flicker across the screen!!!!!"

Of course, every thought that I have ever had, that you have ever had, has already been philosophized about by some person from 100000 years ago. For example, I was thinking, "you know maybe if I lived in the 1600s I would have wanted to marry John Milton." Then I started reading Middlemarch (1871) by George Eliot today and guess what????? It says Dorothea "felt sure that she would have accepted the judicious Hooker, if she had been born in time to save him from that wretched mistake he made in matrimony; or John Milton when his blindness had come on; or any of the other great men whose odd habits it would have been glorious piety to endure..." so basically, she is just like me fr. 

So this got me thinking, was there anyone else before me who hated being young? I like tea and cats and books. I was literally born to be an old lady. My idea of fun is just old lady activities. There has got to be someone who feels like I do about how romanticizing youth is silly. 

There are passages in Meditations about being able to appreciate natural beauty even for things that are aged, mature, and overripe, without disregarding the beauty of youth as well. These come from Book III of Meditations:

"figs, when they are quite ripe, gape open; and in the ripe olives the very circumstance of their being near to rottenness adds a peculiar beauty to the fruit."

"if a man should have a feeling and deeper insight with respect to the things which are produced in the universe, there is hardly one of those which follow by way of consequence which will not seem to him to be in a manner disposed so as to give pleasure. And so he will see even the real gaping jaws of wild beasts with no less pleasure than those which painters and sculptors show by imitation; and in an old woman and an old man he will be able to see a certain maturity and comeliness; and the attractive loveliness of young persons he will be able to look on with chaste eyes; and many such things will present themselves, not pleasing to every man, but to him only who has become truly familiar with nature and her works."

This is great, but the text that really made me feel less alone in my views was In Praise of Folly (1511) by Desiderius Erasmus. Folly is a female jester, but also a goddess, and is the allegorical personification of tomfoolery. The whole book is a speech she makes in praise of herself. She mocks the Stoic philosophers like Aurelius for not being silly. She makes fun of wisemen, philosophers, grammarians, theologians, lawyers, rhetoricians, etc. Her arguments are all exactly what you would expect anti-intellectuals to make, if anti-intellectuals were actually capable of sustaining and defending an argument over the course of a whole book and finding the coolest classical allusions to support themselves. And so Folly does romanticize youth, and she says that her followers get to be young forever. Erasmus was obviously what we would think of as a "wiseman," and the book appears to be a humorous roasting of himself in part. But knowing that the views expressed by Folly are often satire really helped me feel less alone in my views, because they are better defined against what Folly expresses if that makes sense. 

Folly was conceived out of wedlock by Plutus when he was in his youth with the beautiful nymph Neote, and she is really proud of this. She was nursed by Drunkenness and Stupidity. Her handmaidens are Flattery, Forgetfulness, Pleasure, Madness, Luxury, etc. 

^ I found this picture online, which has a quote from the book. But I really don't like that drawing. I want to draw an allegorical personification of Folly as a sexy female jester and make Erasmus proud. 

Folly on Aging 

Folly says if you follow her, you get to be young forever. If you become wise, you'll get wrinkles. Here is a quotation:

 "if mortals would refrain completely from any contact with wisdom and live their entire lives with me, there would not be any old age at all. Instead, they would enjoy perpetual youth and live happily ever after. You see, don’t you, how these grave and sober personages who devote themselves to philosophical studies or to serious and difficult tasks seem to enjoy hardly any youthful years at all; they grow old before their time because they are forever worrying and beating their brains out about knotty problems, so that their vital spirits gradually dry up, leaving them exhausted and juiceless, as it were."

Folly also talks about how gifted children are an absolute curse. The charm of children is supposed to be in their ignorance. 

"Aren’t we put off by the child who has the knowledge of a grown man? Don’t we avoid such precocious prodigies like the plague?" 

Folly claims that women are naturally sillier than men. They are less suited for intellectual pursuits. They like frivolous things. But Folly thinks this a good thing! She claims that this is also how women preserve their youthful soft skin, while men get rough skin from having to think too many thoughts. Women are meant to be the comic relief in men's lives.

 "by living with him she can season and sweeten the sourness of the masculine mind with her folly."

“Where do men get their rough features, coarse skin, bushy beards-all of them clearly signs of old age? Where but from the vice of prudence? Women, on the other hand, have soft cheeks, a high voice, a delicate and smooth complexion, so that they seem to preserve forever unchanged the marks of adolescence”

Now this raises the question, what does Folly think of women who don't like being silly and would rather be wise? Well just like with children who are wise beyond their age, she hates them. And she thinks Pallas, which is another name for Athena the goddess of wisdom, is a huge nerd. 

Over all, wise people are boring and annoying and they ruin everything, as we can see in this passage:

Bring a wiseman to a party: he will disrupt it either by his gloomy silence or his tedious cavils. Invite him to a dance: you would think it was ‘a camel dancing.’ Drag him along to a public festival: his face alone will be enough to put a damper on people’s gaiety— wise Cato will be forced to leave the theater because he cannot put off his supercilious airs. If he joins a conversation, everyone suddenly ‘clams up.’ If something has to be bought, if some contract has to be negotiated, in short, if any of those things must be done without which everyday life cannot be carried on, you would say this wiseman is more of a blockhead than a man. 

The whole book is definitely worth a read if you get a chance. Folly claims to be blurting out anything that comes to her mind, but she clearly knows how to deploy rhetorical strategies, and so she secretly partakes in and benefits from the learning that she tells others not to pursue. 

Some of you may be interested in Folly's criticism of theologians and ascetics in particular, in which case you would really like the later sections of this book that I have not covered. 

I found this book humorous, comforting, skillfully written, and over all just amazing and would definitely recommend it to people who like pondering about things. 

Alright fam, that's all for today!!!   

The Creature Social Hierarchy (joke post please do not take this seriously)

This is literally just a shitpost, so please do not politicize it!!! It's not Plato's Republic, so don't use it as inspiration for your manifesto please. This is just inspired by those silly incels who no one takes seriously any more who came up with terms like sigma male, alpha male, beta male, etc. I do not understand incel astrology, nor do I wish to, and so I am completely fine with doing epistemic injustice to their worldview and just making my own social hierarchy with funnier terms.

If we're going to have a social hierarchy, the terms should not be Greek letters and types of males. We should use creature-related terminology because it is funnier. It is also gender neutral. We're all God's creatures. So this is my social hierarchy classification:

Lowest tier, do not label someone as this tier unless they are irredeemable:

Vermin: this includes people who groomed u on Kik when u were in middle school, Discord mods, everyone in the Epstein files, etc.

Mid tiers. Most people you know are these. These are also the default tiers that people are born into. You can progress into the higher tiers by being a self-improover, or you can lapse into lowest tier by being a horrible person. 

Critter: some random person with 0 friends 

Extinct species: Proto-normie 

Animal: a normie 

Self-imrpoover tiers. It is very good to get on this tier and most people can with a bit of effort. This is NOT deterministic like incelology. 'Betas' are doomed and can never be Chads according to incels, but in my system everyone can get on this tier. 

Creature: clever person who might make it 

Beast: someone on their grind 

Legend tiers. I also believe everyone can get on these with exceptional effort if they pass through self-improover tier first. The key is that I only think old people can get on this tier because it requires a lifetime of self-improovement. 

Apex predator: a philosopher-king 

Cryptid: sigma, stays out of the social hierarchy by choice

So there you have it. Those are the tiers. Personally, I believe I am a Creature. This is on the self-imrpoover tier. However, I have also been extinct species and animal before. My boyfriend? Definitely a cryptid even though he is not old. He is just incredibly based and sigma. By emulating some of his fine qualities, I believe I may become an apex predator. But this will take a long time. 

Most important thing about this system is that a vermin can not become a critter. However, no one is born a vermin. They may sink to the level of vermin, which is a point of no return. But if you are a critter, you can become an extinct species and animal eventually. Heck, you can even become an apex predator or cryptid. It's just a lot of work.

This is a silly post!!!!! do not i repeat do not take this seriously. this is peak silliness. Thank you. I believe in freewillmaxxing over doompilled determinism and I like creatures, that is all.

Oddly specific meme

I made this meme. Does anyone else feel this way when they yap to their boyfriend about their autistic hyperfixation?

do techbros misunderstand Meditations by Marcus Aurelius? also I am still Ojibwemaxxing

I will be yapping about these books:

Hi everyone! So I realize that the title of this post might be a bit clickbaity and I don't actually want to bash anyone's efforts to engage with the classics. However, what made me want to write this post was the fact that I recently read a book called Embers: One Ojibway’s Meditations by Richard Wagamese, and I could not help but be reminded of what is probably the most famous example of the “philosophical journal” style of book, which is Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you’ll know that I’m a non-Indigenous learner of Anishinaabemowin, the Ojibwe language. I’ve written on this blog before about universal truths that are found across different storytelling traditions. For example, Basil Johnston’s retelling of the Ojibwe story of the wolverine reminds me an awful lot of my boy Satan from Milton’s Paradise Lost. For today though, I wanted to focus on how some people may misinterpret Stoic philosophy as being about isolating yourself, becoming hyperindependent, and avoiding relationships with others. I believe such ideas are erasing some of the nuances in Meditations and could be harmful. Aurelius does mention the important of community. So does Wagamese. In Embers, Wagamese draws from Anishinaabe worldview to remind us that all of creation is our community, so that includes creatures and plants.

Perhaps people who are huge fans of Meditations won’t like that I’m speaking of it alongside Embers. One is a timeless classic and one was written in the same century as us. However, Wagamese certainly draws from some very ancient teachings. And he seems to have been interested in making this wisdom accessible even to people who not know anything about Ojibwe culture. Aurelius was keeping a diary for the sake of his own self-improvement and did not intend for so many people to read it. Also, I understand why people who hate new age spirituality and self-help books might be reluctant to read “Embers.” Trust me, I hate that kinda stuff and I only read The Power of Now because my dad and my boyfriend like it. However, I enjoyed Embers. And I do not think an Ojibway writer writing about Anishinaabe teachings should be reduced to “new age.” Richard Wagamese isn’t a white woman.

Okay, lets pull up a banger from Meditations now. This is from Book 11, number viii. There are of course, many different translations of Meditations. But I am using this one on Wikisource because it is easy to access: https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Meditations_of_the_Emperor_Marcus_Antoninus/Book_11

Here is the banger quotation. Notice especially the ending, where he talks about how you should value community but you shouldn’t lose yourself in it.

8. A branch cut off from the bough it belonged to cannot but be cut off also from the whole tree. Similarly a man, if severed from a single man, has fallen away from society as a whole. Now in the case of a branch, it is cut off by another agency, whereas man by his own act divides himself from his neighbour, when he hates him and turns from him, yet he does not realize that at the same time he has severed himself from the whole Commonwealth. Only there is this singular gift of Zeus who brought society together, that we are enabled to join again with the man we belong to, and again to become complements of the Whole. Yet, if it is often repeated, the effect of such separation is to make what separates difficult to unite and to restore. Generally speaking, too, the branch which originally grew with the tree and shared its transpiration, by remaining with it, is different from the branch which is engrafted again after being cut off, whatever gardeners may say. 'Grow together with them but do not share their doctrines.'

What do we make of this? Aurelius is not against forming relationships. He is against forming toxic, codependent attachments that would prevent you from thinking for yourself or having your own opinions.

A lot of what Meditations talks about is Logos or Reason, which is sort of like your inner god. It is an unshakeable part of you that should not be impacted by any life circumstances, however good or tragic they may be. You always have Reason even when you have nothing else. Guess what? Wagamese also speaks of having part of the Creator within him.

Lets pull up a banger from Embers. This is also a tree-related passage. It is about mast seeding, which is how trees use their roots to communicate with each other so that they all know that they should bear fruit at the same time. Pecan trees do this. This is what he says. Keep in mind that he wrote this stuff because these were thoughts that occurred to him during his morning meditations, so in a way it is sort of like Aurelius’s journal but less private:

“I’ve learned nuts are formed from symbiotic relationships between trees. They communicate through fungal networks in the soil. In a process called mast seeding, different species of trees communicate and come into fruit (the delivery of nuts) at the same time, ensuring their ongoing survival. Tree talk, tree people; as my own people say. These days I’m definitely a nut, learning to exist in unity, synchrony and harmony.”

Even trees have friends!!! And they talk to their frens. So you see, grindset advice that does not encourage you to form community or a support system is probably a bad idea.

Wagamese and Aurelius both suggest holding oneself to a very high standard while simultaneously having extreme compassion for others, and this is also how I personally want to live my life. By having very high standards for myself, but not for other people. I don’t want to judge others. If I am focusing on self-improovement, I would not have the time to do so.

That’s all for today’s chronic yapping post. Thanks for reading it!!

Unconventional essay writing advice that involves thinking about love and friendship

This is Michel de Montaigne!!! He was really good at writing essays :))

What’s up fam? It’s yer girl. Today, we are going to discuss unconventional essay writing advice. If you’re an undergrad, chances are that you have to write tons of these. Everyone hates essays, right? And everyone finds them boring to read too, don’t they? Well actually, I’m going to give you some unconventional essay writing advice that makes it fun to write essays. It will also make it fun to read essays.

First, I need to start by explaining why the form of the essay is important. A lot of people believe essays, or perhaps nonfiction writing in general is boring. They think it doesn’t stir the emotions as much as fiction does. The truth is, a well-written essay can be as moving as poetry. Want an example? Read “Of Friendship” by Michel de Montaigne. He argues that loyalty to your best friend is above all other loyalties. It is much more important than loyalty to the state. He supports codependent monogamous friendships!!! AND HE WOULD NEVER SNITCH ON A HOMIE. Here is an excerpt from “Of Friendship,” (1588) in John Florio’s translation (1603). It talks about two besties or bros named Gracchus and Blosius. Blosius says he trusts Gracchus, so he would listen to his fren if his fren told him to set fire to all the temples. Here it is:

When Lelius in the presence of the Romane Consuls, who after the condemnation of Tiberius Gracchus, pursued all those that had beene of his acquaintance, came to enquire of Caius Blosius (who was one of his chiefest friends) what he would have done for him, and that he answered, “All things.” “What, all things?” replied he. “And what if he had willed thee to burne our Temples?” Blosius answered, “He would never have commanded such a thing.” “But what if he had done it?” replied Lelius. The other answered, “I would have obeyed him.” If hee were so perfect a friend to Gracchus as Histories report, he needed not offend the Consuls with this last and bold confession, and should not have departed from the assurance hee had of Gracchus his minde. But yet those who accuse this answer as seditious, understand not well this mysterie: and doe not presuppose in what termes he stood, and that he held Gracchus his will in his sleeve, both by power and knowledge. They were rather friends than Citizens, rather friends than enemies of their countrey, or friends of ambition and trouble.

“THEY WERE FRIENDS RATHER THAN CITIZENS” LET THAT SINK IN!!

I use this deeply moving passage as evidence to say that thinking essays are boring is an equally horrible take as thinking there is nothing to be learned from fiction (perhaps I will write an essay on this sometime). A good essay tries to convince your reader that you have a respectable point. Evidence for your thesis, such as in the form of primary source quotations, is very important. However, what’s even more important is having a voice. You should sound like you have convictions when you write an essay.

Now, for any kind of writing, you’ve probably heard the suggestion to write first and revise later. This is pretty good advice. Make it exist first, because you can make it good later. All first drafts suck. I definitely agree with this advice, but don’t edit out your raw voice. To cultivate voice, write blog posts and diary entries. Basically anything informal where you use little or no editing and just talk about your thoughts and feelings. I do this on this blog all the time. I write informally about literary fiction or monographs just to get my thoughts and first impressions of a text down. But in this post, I would like to propose unconventional advice that applies specifically to essays.

My unconventional essay writing tip has to do with thinking about love and friendship as you write!!!

Now hear me out. Imagine people who are close to you as you write. Your homie, your mom, your fair beloved, etc. And write as though you are addressing them. Start it off in the style of a letter if that helps, and then eventually delete the part of your draft that starts with “dear ___.”

Can there be any doubt that Montaigne was thinking about a homie the entire time he was composing “Of Friendship”?

But your essay doesn’t actually have to be about friendships or relationships for this tip to apply. If you care about any idea enough, the only things you probably care about more are the people you love. And naturally, you must want to communicate ideas idea that matter to you with them.

My tip is for essay writing. Perhaps you can apply it to other forms of writing. But I intend it is an essay writing tip because I actually think there’s something very intimate about the essay form. When you have intellectual discourse with someone, it’s like seeing the inside of their brain. This is why it feels amazing to read an essay by someone you love, especially if it’s a raw, unpolished draft with their authentic voice. If your fair beloved sends you a spicy photo, that’s basically just like seeing an anatomical diagram compared to seeing their rough drafts.

You may wish to argue to change the political system in some way. Perhaps there is some famous book, and a certain passage from it is very popular, but you want to argue for the importance of one of its more overlooked passages. Perhaps you think human civilization has been entirely wrong about a concept for over 500 years. Why not start off your essay on these topics like a letter? The distinction between public and private thoughts is fake anyway.

Sure, you may write about an esoteric subject you’re interested in that your loved ones neither know nor care about. But ultimately your deepest held beliefs are informed by things that you think would benefit THEM if your ideas were implemented by society.

Do you think literature is supposed to instill virtue? Do you think society devalues beauty, and that this is cheapening art? Or perhaps you have the opposite take, and think that bourgeois aesthetic ideal are used to justify violent oppression. Maybe you have takes that criticize the school system, or the healthcare system, or the justice system because you know someone who has been personally wronged by the. Someone you love. Sometimes, that’s what it takes for people to stop feeling a distinction between social issues (issues that “happen to other people who are not like me, who either deserve it or who I can not help”) and personal issues. Your writing may seem arcane to your loved ones. But really, in a way you’re doing it for them. Aren’t you?

So start your essays off as letters. In some ways, this unconventional writing advice is like the advice of “touch grass to write better novels.” Sure you should probably read literary fiction if you’re a novelist, but your burst of inspiration is most likely to come from living life. I have a fren who loves Jane Austen. He told me that the reason why he loves Pride and Prejudice so much is because he thinks Austen sounds like she loves people. She doesn’t sound like a bitter misanthrope. If you descend into misanthropy, it may result in your downfall as a writer.

Being a good essayist does require touching grass. But more specifically, it requires forming meaningful relationships.

I was reading a critic’s work where he kinda sounded like he hated medieval literature. Medieval fans may not like that this guy was spouting the typical “it was the Dark Ages” narrative. But the point he used to criticize stuff by medieval writers who went monkmode was that they have a murderous hatred of the world that they clothe in asceticism!! Do not be like that!! resist temptation to go monkmode.

Thank you for reading this. As you can probably tell, I am a chronic yapper.

For hapless souls who are languishing in limerence: The Dionysian Passion of Werther

It's real yearner hours. Smash that like button if ur still up brooding, pondering, languishing, and lamenting. This post is going to be about one of the worst things ever lmao: limerence. I would give you guys a definition of what limerence means, but I think it is better to SHOW you what it means. There is a very famous novel about a limerent character called The Sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe. Here are some letters that Werther sent to his friend Wilhelm about a lady named Lotte:

• 3 September: "Sometimes it is beyond my comprehension that any other man can love her, is allowed to love her, since I love her solely, with such passion and so completely and know nothing, having nothing but her."

• 19 October: "Oh the gap, the fearful gap, I feel here in my breast! — Often I think if once, just once, I could press her to my heart the gap would all be filled."

• 27 October, evening: "I have so much and my feeling for her devours everything, I have so much and without her everything is nothing."

Every limerent in the history of limerence has sent nearly identical messages to their homie while they were crashing out over the equally unfortunate person who is the Limerent Object (LO). Negative reviews of this book complain that Werther's emotions seem exaggerated and over-the-top, that they find him unrelatable because he is like a silly caricature to them rather than like a real person. He is too dramatic for them. But the limerent reader will scream "he's just like me fr" at these passages. In fact to the limerent reader, Werther might actually appear relatively composed and not dramatic enough. 

So now we have established that limerence is a soul-consuming obsession with a person who is not interested, and that a limerent brain is much like a drug addict's brain. In Werther's case, it is for a woman who is already married to someone else. 

I saw a random woman on Goodreads give this book a bad review (I gave it 5 stars, and I am also a woman. I mention my gender because it is relevant to this discourse). She said Werther is creepy and that the book was boring. It is true that Werther is creepy. Limerence is creepy. And boringness is subjective so I'll give that to her, even though I found it entertaining. Now, what was waaaay dumber than this review was one of the replies to it from a man who actually seems to have liked this book as much as I did. He clapped back at her saying that it was a good book and that women can not appreciate it because they lack Dionysian passion. 

As someone who liked this book, I will gatekeep the shit out of it from this sexist ahh man even though we both liked it. You don't deserve Werther if you don't understanding his hopeless yearning to be a universal emotion, not something exclusively experienced by men. I HAVE WAY MORE DIONYSIAN PASSION THAN YOU. 

Also as a book enjoyer, I gotta say to this man: 

• Read Shakespeare's Venus and Adonis and tell me if you think Venus or Adonis is more limerent. Spoiler alert: IT'S VENUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• How did Elaine of Astolat die in the Arthurian legends? That's right, UNREQUITED LOVE FOR LANCELOT. 
• Orsino from Twelfth Night, just like this random guy on Goodreads, also thinks men have more Dionysian passion than women and make better yearners. So he says "There is no woman's sides/Can bide the beating of so strong a passion/As love doth give my heart; no woman's heart/So big, to hold so much; they lack retention" in Act 2 Scene 4. However, VIOLA IS LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM and says she knows that women can be equally down bad. She is disguised as a boy in this scene, which is perhaps why Orsino takes her seriously enough to listen to her objection to what he says. Shakespeare is literally making fun of people who are like the random guy on Goodreads. 
• The biggest yearner in the history of yearning was literally Sappho and she was a lesbian 

Now that I have destroyed this random guy on Goodreads, it's time to get back to the topic of limerence. If you have low self-esteem, you are more likely to experience limerence because you believe you are unworthy of real love. If you are scared of relationships or scared of commitment or the responsibilities of a real relationship (I am warning you that you may be very in denial of this if you are), then you are more likely to be limerent. If you are unhappy with your life in general, limerence offers comforting fantasies. I understand limerence very well. I have spoken with many people about it who have gone through it, and I have gone through it myself a couple of times. I am in an online support group where I give people advice about it from time to time. 

I have spoken to someone whose LO was a much older lady who treated this person like shit basically but they still loved her for like over a decade even though she was abusive, I have spoken to a woman who was forsaken by her LO when he unexpectedly left her and she never got closure and she did not think she could ever love someone again because this man randomly ghosted her, and recently I have spoken with an individual who was limerent over someone who was in a relationship already. 

Many of the anonymous posts in the online support group I have seen were written by married people. They became limerent for someone other than their spouse. I know, it's easy to absolutely hate them for this. In a world where so many people don't get to marry the person they love for various reasons, it's easy to hate someone who seems lucky enough to have gotten married but we must remember that they sometimes married a person who they don't even love. Doesn't seem so lucky now, does it? 

Here are some infographics and memes about limerence that I have gathered, in case you guys still need some clarification on what limerence is.

Now honestly, I am in a happy relationship but I think I do spend a lot of time thinking about my fair beloved the way limerents do. Thinking about the person a lot seems to be relatively harmless as long as it is not preventing you from doing things you need to get done. But if they are the only thing that gives you dopamine, that can get dangerous. 

I feel like it would be very irresponsible of me not to end this post with some tips of what you should do if you are limerent. Don't worry, there is hope. Goethe actually went through limerence himself, and writing Werther helped give him closure. Perhaps a creative hobby can also help you. Here are other things you can try:

• Go No Contact with the LO (very very difficult to do, I know) but you can keep a No Contact journal, message a close friend about how you're doing when you go No Contact, or post in a limerence-related forum online where other people can give you supportive comments to help. 
• Improve other areas of your life so that the LO becomes less appealing try to have self-compassion while doing so. You deserve a better life, so give yourself one!!!
• To avoid behaviour that could be seen as creepy, read posts about people who have been LOs so you can understand what limerence is like for a person on the receiving end. This will help you understand how certain actions may impact them. You can also read posts by people who have been victims of stalking to gain an understanding of how they feel and avoid any behaviour that may even slightly approach stalking. 
• Improve your self-esteem I heard someone say he doesn't have very good self-esteem because he has not accomplished certain goals. For example, he wants to get a car, but doesn't have one. Compliments from his friends help him feel better about himself. However, a person with high self-esteem will not be positively or negatively influenced by other people's words so easily, and they will not believe their worth depends on something as small as whether or not they have a car. You have inherent self-worth and you deserve love. Remembering this will help you improve your life.
• Do not have a negative attitude towards romantic relationships or friendships and do not become bitter. People who are dealing with limerence may have the urge to become hyperindependent, but that can actually lead to more limerence because a lack of satisfying relationships can cause limerence. Learn about friendship red flags and green flags, and work on forming a support network. Everyone needs one, and you will actually risk becoming more clingy and desperate without one. Knowing you have 2-3 solid friendships and actively putting in effort into them will prevent you from wasting effort on some random person who you have pedestalized and romanticized and who doesn't care about you.
• Forgive yourself and forgive your LO. Your LO is not evil and did not want to hurt you (assuming the majority of people have positive intentions). You were both doing the best you could with what you knew. Forgiveness is important for moving on, so is letting go of shame and anger.

Alright fam, that wraps up this post. Please do let me know your thoughts, especially if you have any experience with going through limerence or with being a LO. If you are a book enjoyer, do you know any other books besides Werther that portray limerence well? Let me know if you do!

unfortunately another suburbanite has decided to start a podcast lmao

Yes I know, EVERYONE is trying to start a podcast these days. But I actually need one to reflect on all the thoughts I have. I spend a lot of time pondering, so might as well ponder while yapping into a mic. This podcast is supposed to be therapeutic in a way. 

I decided to give it the title "PhDeezNuts" to challenge the concept of professionalism. Here is the cover art:

EPISODE 1 OF PHDEEZNUTS IS HERE. You can find it on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/52S5bLOKoawikkJQFl5eq0?si=4IhoCm_bRqii1OxG4H8lzw

Enjoy and share it with your frens!!!!!!

yer girl is still alive i was just schoolmaxxing + here are the 10 best books I read in 2025

what's up fam it's yer girl. I wanted to post this to give a life update so you know that I'm still alive. I managed to get out of the suburbs, which has always been my life goal. And I have been schoolmaxxing. I have been doing a lot of random stuff. For example, I wrote this article on a very obscure book I read. I am also considering starting a podcast soon. Sorry if you think podcasters are cringe, but I will be contributing to their population increase soon. 

I read 73 books in 2025. I wanted to make a list of the books I thought were the best in case y'all want bookmaxxing recommendations. I have chosen 10 of my favourite books and tried to cover different genres so that there's something for everyone here. 

1. The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson 

I actually read this whole trilogy this year and LOVED all three books, but I would also recommend this book as a standalone because it is quite beautiful and complete on its own. It's one of those fantasy books that doesn't involve any magic, but it involves extensive world-building. There are fictional countries with different languages, cultures, religions, governance systems, literary traditions, gender roles, etc. And Seth Dickinson has put so much effort into creating each one. It's so fun to immerse yourself in the geopolitics of this world. The protagonist is a brilliant savant from an island that has been colonized by an evil empire, but can she dismantle it by working within the system or is that a hopeless idea?

2. The Rise and Fall of Adam and Eve by Stephen Greenblatt 

I had an obsession with Genesis this year, so I read Milton's Paradise Lost and a monograph about how the New England Puritans were influenced by the story of Adam and Eve called Inventing Eden by Zachary Hutchins. I gotta say I loved Greenblatt's book on how Adam and Eve went from having multiple interpretations to how it came to have a literal interpretation because of Augustine and Milton. Adam and Eve could have been allegorical figures, according to some Jewish commentators. They could have simply represented the reason and desire of a single person. However, Augustine interpreted Genesis literally and came up with the idea of Original Sin. Milton was influenced by this interpretation and it became the dominant one in our culture since then. Now we think of it as the only way to correctly interpret Adam and Eve's story. I would recommend reading the original story in Genesis before diving into this book because it's very short and you will see that it leaves a lot of room for asking questions. Greenblatt writes extensively about Augustine and Milton's personal lives and you will feel as if you know these people by the end of the book, and Milton's loneliness and marital problems will increase your appreciation of Adam and Eve's wholesome relationship in Paradise Lost before the fall and of Satan's loneliness and his jealousy at seeing Adam and Eve happy. Unforunately, I have not read Augustine's Confessions. But Greenblatt makes it sounds like he crashes out a lot in it so I mentally refer to it as Augustine's Crash Outs now and I will be reading it in 2026 to let y'all know what I think!!!!

3. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

I gotta warn y'all that this is considered one of the saddest novels ever written. I adored it and I think it is one of my favourite novels now, but my heart has also been absolutely destroyed. It criticizes education, marriage, gender roles, parenting, and religion. It was so controversial in 1895 that people burned copies of it. I don't wanna give spoilers, but this book turned me into a marriage abolitionist even though I've never even been remotely close to being one before (literally never throughout my life). If you want to read about how education keeps out some of the smartest people because of class discrimination, and about marriage is done more to avoid social stigma than because people love each other, and if you want to become absolutely doompilled and hopeless and depressed then I recommend this book. It was very beautifully written and I genuinely believe tragedy is the highest art form. Also I have another ultra sad book on my shelf right now, The Sorrows of Young Werther, and I will get to that in 2026. Pray for yer girl I will probably be languishing. 

4. The Language Warrior's Manifesto by Anton Treuer 

As I have mentioned on this blog before, I am a non-Indigenous learner of Anishinaabemowin. Ninanda-gikendaan ji-anishinaabemoyaan. Gaawiin anishinaabe ndaawsii. Aapiji niminwendaan o'ow mzin'igan. I have no doubt that Anishinaabemowin will have more speakers in the future, even though it is an endangered language right now. Treuer talks about how this can be done. He wants to move past simply making people memorize word lists in Indigenous language classes for learning things like animals, numbers, or colours. Instead, he wants speakers to be not only fluent but creative. He envisions a world where Anishinaabemowin children's books are not just translations of English stories or bilingual books for second language learners, instead they should be fully in Anishinaabemowin and have culturally-relevant messages. And of course he thinks there should be Anishinaabe literature available for all ages. He talks about his personal life and how this can not be separated from his language journey and I am sure you'll find this very moving and inspiring, especially how he aims to make sure that all his children are fluent speakers. 

Also just to be clear, I'm sure you'll love this book if you care about endangered language revitalization in general, not just for Anishinaabemowin. And if you don't, then it's even more important for you to read this. 

5. Imaginary Maps by Mahasweta Devi 

 Perhaps this is the most problematic book on this list, only because it talks about the Indigenous Adivasi communities of India and the author is not actually from these communities (I could not tell you which community the stories in this book would be the most applicable to as a major flaw of this book is that it homogenizes them!!!!) However, to defend this choice a little, I will say it does an excellent job of criticizing the Indian state, or perhaps the concept of a nation state in general. You can see that it is only able to survive through exploitation of Gond and Santal people and other such communities as most of India's electricity is generated on their land. Resources are extracted from communities that are not fairly compensated for them (Sounds just like Canada or Russia too). There is one story in here about a reporter who sees a pterodactyl in the jungle, and the pterodactyl is a metaphor for knowledge so ancient that he can not even be able to comprehend it, and of course this knowledge precedes the state. I will say this book gave me a lot to ponder about and that's why I think it should be on this list.

6. The Shape of Sex: Nonbinary Gender from Genesis to the Renaissance by Leah DeVun

The subtitle is extremely misleading as this book is actually about intersex people, not nonbinary people. But it was still incredible. I think having the phase where I was obsessed with Genesis was what drew me to this book, as it does talk about the interpretation of Adam as possessing characteristics of both sexes before Eve is separated from his body and they become two distinct people. Intersex characteristics are associated both with demons and angels in the Middle Ages. The theological discourse around them affected how real people were treated (most obviously when it came to nonconsensual surgery on intersex people). It is horrifying to think that these nonconsensual surgeries still continue all around the world. We have literally learned nothing and that's probably what most horrified me about this book even though I think it is a very important topic for the author to write about 

7. Shakespeare's Sonnets

I loved the experience of reading all 154 of these together rather than reading them as standalone poems, because some of them are like series of sonnets that relate to each other (the reproduction sonnets, the horse and rider sonnets, the fair youth sonnets, the dark lady sonnets, etc.). I literally cried over some of these. These were not the only sonnets I read this year, as I also read Sidney's Astrophil and Stella, but nothing can top Shakespeare's sonnets. I read Venus and Adonis a few years ago, and I have not read the Rape of Lucrece, but in 2026 I might make it a point to read it as I would like to read more of Shakespeare's poetry (and honestly Venus and Adonis is worth a re-read! I realllyyy liked it last time I read it). 

8. AI Snake Oil: What Artificial Intelligence Can Do, What it Can't, and How to Tell the Difference

Now I'm no technology understander, and I lowkey wish I lived in the 1500s sometimes. However, this book is pretty easy to understand even if you are medievalbrained. The authors are computer science professors but they try to make this accessible for people. They tell you why the existential threat of Artificial General Intelligence may actually be overhyped, and that the most dangerous thing about AI is what humans are going to do with it, or what humans with bad intentions and who have power are already doing with it. You will learn why artificial intelligence is terrible for trying to predict the future (whether a criminal will continue committing crimes, if a condition will develop into a more serious disease, if a student's performance will improve, etc.) You will also learn why humans should probably be involved in social media content moderation and it shouldn't just be left to AI to make those decisions as they do not understand human culture. I will certainly be reading more on AI in 2026, especially the ethics of it.

9. All the Horses of Iceland by Sarah Tolmie 

Just a gorgeous historical novella that's impossible to put down, and the kind of thing I hope I'll write someday as it's my dream to write historical fiction. Eyvind of Eyri does not believe that his early tenth-century world is very complicated, even as many of his fellow Icelanders convert to Christianity and forget the old ways. According to him, the world is simply composed of humans, animals, ghosts, and luck. I love how simple and straightforward he is as a character, and also how he believes farming is the most noble profession and his dream is to own a farm!! When the Khazar adventurer David presents Eyvind with the opportunity to travel across the known world, Eyvind sees many things he doesn’t understand, like the nameless a nameless white mare who's bewitched. The message seems to be that magic cuts across all cultures, but only Eyvind seems to be smart enought o see this even though he's so humble. 

10. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius 

I read this because my based bigbrained chad sigma stoic boyfriend likes this book uwu. The idea of “Reason” being like your inner god and something that no one can disturb or take from you was very powerful. No matter what the circumstances are, you still have your reason. Before reading this, I had the mistaken notion of Stoics as isolating themselves from the world. I thought that in order to avoid being carried away by their emotions, they must avoid socializing or it would cause them to form attachments to people. But Marcus Aurelius actually preaches love, compassion, and community, as long as you don't form attachments that make you forget that you have Reason, or logos, or free will, purpose, an inner light... however you want to think about that. I should read more philosophy. Also, I swear he gives advice that sounds like my dad sometimes. And my dad studied Sanskrit. So I wonder if there's a school of thought in Indian philosophy that's actually very similar to Stoicism? Also I want to read Epictetus, as Marcus Aurelius admires him a lot and mentions him in this book. 

Honourable Mention: What the Chicken Knows by Sy Montgomery

And lets end off on something extremely silly, but lowkey kinda based. Yer girl had plans to start a chicken farm but that didn't pan out. Nevertheless, this book reminds me that I will never give up on my dream! If you're a hater, just know that I'm sure you'll be paying premium prices for organic eggs from my farm one day lmao. Anyway, chickens have a lot of instincts we don't understand like pecking aggressively at the sight of blood. They are also affectionate to their owners. Roosters are protective of their flocks and can warn others of danger. These are just some incredible facts about them. And I will continue reading about nature and creatures in 2026.

What is Snekcoatl going to read in 2026?????

• More fantasy because I loved the Masquerade trilogy!!! I'll be checking out some of R.F. Kuang's novels, as well as the Dune books and LOTR.
• More nineteenth-century fiction because I loved Jude the Obscure and Great Expectations! I would really like to read Dracula, as well as books by Austen and the Bronte sisters.
• More books by Anishinaabe authors because I liked Moon of the Turning Leaves by Waubgeshig Rice. Leanne Betasamosake Simpson and Louise Erdrich will be next.
• More nonfiction books about India for tradmaxxing purposes. The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen sounds great, as does The Burning Forest: India's War in Bastar by Nandini Sundar.
• More Shakespeare of course!!!
• More philosophy, probably Plato's dialogues.
• More nonfiction about nature, creatures, and ecology. Give recs if you know about CREATURES, I don't really know where to start.
• More historical fiction. I also want to write more of it :)
• More nonfiction on AI such as AI Morality by David Edmonds and Brave New Words by Salman Khan

To all the bookmaxxers out there, whether you are a giganerd or just getting into reading, and whether you plan to read philosophy books or manga in 2026, I wish you the best of luck with your bookmaxxing goals!! Bye, fam!!!

Satan from Paradise Lost is kind of like a wolverine (hear me out)

 

 

Yer girl is back with another informal post on a serious topic, kinda like that post I made about Utopia by Thomas More or about All About Love by bell hooks and Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer (yes I talked about bell hooks and Kimmerer in the same post even tho most people would tell you that they talk about very different things. I actually think the points they make about greed are quite similar). 

Anyway, today's topic is on "Wolverine thinking" (a term I coined) and Paradise Lost. 

Let me begin by explaining what "Wolverine thinking" is, since it is a term I coined after reading a retelling of an Ojibwe legend by Basil Johnston 

When I read Ojibway Heritage (1976) by Basil Johnston, I was fascinated by the story of the wolverine in the chapter called "The Nature of Animals." Johnston explains how the Great Spirit (or Great Mystery, as he translates it) named Kitche Manitou gave gifts to every creature. For example, the eagle received strong wings and keen sight. The deer received grace. The hummingbird was given the power of hovering, and so on. However, the wolverine was unsatisfied with these gifts. 

The wolverine was basically an incel who thinks the reason why he is an incel is because he's short. You see, an incel believes he has been somehow cursed to be genetically inferior and that there is nothing he can do about it even though he can just touch grass and work on his personality. He doesn't know how to be grateful for what he has and make the most of his natural gifts the way everyone else does. Here is a quote from page 52-53. I wanted to directly quote this. Because Johnston writes so beautifully, I didn't want to ruin y'alls's experience of this story by paraphrasing it:

Only the wolverine was discontented. When he saw the extent of the gifts of the other animals, he grew envious. Soon he wanted the strength and the size of a bear, the elegance of deer, and the swiftness of the fox. In his increasing disappointment, the wolverine began to despise himself and his gifts and feel bitter at Kitche Manitou. At length, he resolved to return to the mountain top and ask the Master of Life for greater and better gifts. When the wolverine attained the crest, he boldly called out, “Kitche Manitou! Hear me! You have not been just to me. You have not been just to all the animals. To some you have given greater scope and a greater measure of gifts. By this uneven distribution you have made some great and some less.” More audacious, the wolverine continued, “I demand that you redress this great wrong. For myself, I wish more strength, more comeliness, more speed.” But Kitche Manitou’s thunderous voice broke through the selfish list of wolverine. “To each animal being I have given sufficient power for the fulfilment of his being and form. The power I have conferred on each is a form of my power, and is a reflection of my gifts. “No injustice has been done. If you have not developed and fostered the gifts I have presented to you, it is you who have perpetrated an injustice upon yourself. You have betrayed yourself. “For your presumption, you shall wander alone and despised. And for your refusal to develop your attributes you will, henceforth, feed upon what has been left over by your fellow creatures who have nurtured their talents. Go!” Wolverine left the mountain top more bitter and envious than before. He had not been daunted by Kitche Manitou himself! As Kitche Manitou ordained, so the wolverine became solitary, vicious, and avoided. Hungry ever, he must feed upon the portions left by other animals.

Johnston, Basil. Ojibway Heritage, UNP - Bison Books, 1990. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/oxford/detail.action?docID=1682898.

Created from oxford on 2025-09-10 20:33:36.

So for his ingratitude, the wolverine is cast into isolation by Kitche Manitou. And honestly, the wolverine deserved this. 

What is "wolverine thinking"? I would say it is constant emptiness like the insatiable hunger of a wolverine that one tries to fill with a greed for material wealth or possessions (Milton certainly condemns greed in Paradise Lost), and constant ingratitude or grumbling at one's circumstances in life, believing that one got the short end of the stick. I think it causes one to suffer when it comes to interpersonal relationships, and also causes one not to take advantage of certain opportunities when they come their way. 

In Book 4 lines 46-48 of Paradise Lost, Satan admits he did not show gratitude to the one who had created him:

What could be less then to afford him praise,

The easiest recompence, and pay him thanks,

How due! yet all his good prov'd ill in me,

The wolverine is bitter, envious, and feels painfully lonely. Note Satan's similar feelings when he is jealous of the closeness of Adam and Eve. This is from Book 4, lines 505-511:

Sight hateful, sight tormenting! thus these two 

Imparadis't in one anothers arms

The happier Eden, shall enjoy thir fill

Of bliss on bliss, while I to Hell am thrust,

Where neither joy nor love, but fierce desire,

Among our other torments not the least, 

Still unfulfill'd with pain of longing pines;

At other times, Satan feels so empty that he is described almost as the anthropomorphized form of Hell. Line 20 in Book 4 is "the Hell within him, for within him Hell."

Anyway, I thought this was bonkers. So I wanted to share this stuff with you. Let me know if you have a different take either on the wolverine story or on Paradise Lost. 

If you would like to read another post I wrote on wolverines, here it is: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2024/12/wolverines-are-most-relatable-animal.html 

These creatures are one of my autistic hyperfixations. 

Bye, frens!

Sigmimptember

What’s up fam it’s yer girl. You may have seen my blog posts from previous Septembers about a monthly challenge called No Simp September. This is when you go the whole month of September without dating or having a crush on anyone or simping. You just set a lot of goals, which can be athletic, academic, creative, social, etc. And then you do these goals instead of simping. Chronic simpers can try giving themselves “three lives” but then if they yearn more than three times during the month it means they’ve failed the challenge. 

The issue is that some people are already in relationships! This means that they need a new monthly challenge. Allow me to introduce the solution: SIGMIMPTEMBER 

My fair beloved who is even more handsome and irresistible than Satan from Paradise Lost was the one who came up with the term “sigmimp.” This is a person who is both a sigma and a simp. So they are hobbymaxxing while still fulfilling their simp duties by adoring their partner. 

Sigmimptember has similar rules to No Simp September. You have to make a lot of goals at the beginning of the month and do your best to achieve them. The difference is you’re allowed to be a simp. You don’t even have to tone down the simping if it isn’t distracting you from your goals. 

You should tell your Sigmimptember goals to your dearly beloved so that they can encourage you to achieve them! Y’all can congratulate each other on your Ws, which is wholesome. 

Have fun frens!! Good luck with SIGMIMPTEMBER. 

Vicky is a demon who killed my firstborn son and tried to force me to eat human flesh (I still like her though)

I have to tell you guys about V*c, or "VickYYYyyYyyYyYY" as I like to call her. Many people believe she has been my best friend for 10 years, and this is true. But she has also been my worst enemy for 100,000 years. Allow me to explain the lore. 

The time Vicky killed my firstborn son 

Long ago I had a vendetta against a suburb. I hated it there, and I thought everyone there was super cringe. I hated them for scorning and excluding me for being weird, and I vowed to get revenge on the suburbanites. I summoned a powerful immortal demon named V*c by drawing this sigil and saying "shingo malingo tik" three times:

I called upon her to destroy the suburb for me, and she did. But she took my firstborn son as a sacrifice!!!! To this day, I don't know what she did to him. Perhaps his flesh was consumed.

Vicky tried to force me to eat human flesh

She asked me under what circumstance I would eat human flesh. I said no way, I ain't doing that. She asked me if I would do it out of curiosity to know what human flesh tasted like and I said no. She asked me if I would taste the flesh of a famous person. I said no. She asked me if I would taste lab-grown human meat cloned from the cells of a person who freely consented to have their meat eaten. I said no I still ain't doing that even if they signed a consent form. She asked me if I would do it for a university study on the effects of cannibalism on the body. I said no. Cope and seethe V*c, I will NEVER consume human flesh. 

Vicky tried to make me write a dissertation on centipedes, knowing that I hate them

Literally a whole ass dissertation. 80,000-100,000 words after many years of research. I told her I wanna write a lesbian romance novel that takes place in seventeenth-century New England (but nothing too spicy in there other than hand-holding). She asked me if I would rather add scandalous scenes to it (if you know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) or write a whole ass dissertation on centipedes. I don't wanna mess up my creative vision. Also, lust is a sin. But apparently the sacrifice of my firstborn son wasn't enough for V*c and now I also gotta spend my intellectual labour on LEGGY BOYS.

After all of this, I still like V*c

she's still my homie and we are bros 4 life. it's a very complicated relationship. she has very cute eyes and a based sense of humour. she radiates joy and positivity and i am very lucky to have her in my life. i dont know what i'd do without her. even demons can be good people. ily V*c <3