The horseshoe theory of the simp and nonchalanter

 Okay I know the title of this post makes me sound completely bonkers, but hear me out. You know how some people who are politically centrist talk about the horseshoe theory? Basically, according to some centrists, far left and far right extremism are indistinguishable because of how they are both totalitarian. Now despite what many people believe about me, I am not a political person. They just think caring about the environment and Indigenous rights makes me "woke" and left wing when that makes no sense. Like lmao sorry that I don't want to pay the elites to breathe air. But sure it's "woke" to realize that human existence depends on the earth. 

Anyway, this post is not about politics at all. I just wanted to use the term "horseshoe theory" to analyze the modern dating scene, particularly two types of people who I will refer to Simps and Nonchalanters. I am sure these terms are self-explanatory. People who study psychology might use terms from Attachment Theory to understand these people, like anxious attachment and dismissive avoidant or whatever. But as a very wise and enlightened person, I think Attachment Theory is fake and dumb. Also I think psychology is not a real science and that therapists are untrustworthy. Imagine thinking aNxiOus aTtachMent or whatever has any more credibility than astrology. Also, women are always over-labelled with anxious attachment because of sexism. Oh you expect your partner to communicate regularly and clearly with you? you must have anxious attachment I guess!!! At least astrology is cool and aesthetic and so I can tolerate it even though I do not believe it is real. 

So I believe that if you Simp hard enough, it horseshoes into being a Nonchalanter. We view Simps and Nonchalanters as the opposite of each other. But how different are they, really? You see, Simps are prone to love-bombing. Here is what dating looks like for a Simp:

1. They meet a person

2. The person does the bare minimum for them

3. The Simp starts to lose sleep and their dignity as they do everything in their power to try to win over the person and be seen as worthy in their eyes

4. The person thinks the Simp is moving too fast. Has the Simp even really tried to understand them? Why does the Simp want commitment after only knowing them for like a month? The Person might have started liking the Simp if the Simp would just be themselves instead of having 0 personality other than trying to appeal to the object of their desires. 

5. The Simp pushes everyone away by being like this and concludes that they would be better off alone. They become doompilled, and then they turn into their most hated enemy: The Nonchalanter. 

Now, you simps need to understand that the person I have described as the object of your desires is NOT a Nonchalanter. They are just a regular person. They know how to feel love, but it builds up slowly over time for them and only for someone who reciprocates and would be a healthy longterm partner for them. They might yearn sometimes, but in a dainty and sophisticated way. You yearn like a wolverine. 

You are not unworthy. You're underestimating how much your natural looks, intelligence and personality appeal to people. You think they will only like you if you worship the ground they walk on but that is not true. That will actually have the opposite result. But do not take this to the extreme and think that you have to become a Nonchalanter. 

Life is about finding a healthy balance!!!! And you will need to unlearn black and white thinking. 

Here is what dating looks like for a Nonchalanter:

1. They avoid human contact to begin with because they are so scared of being hurt, rejected or abandoned by people. Or they may be very ambitious and hard on themselves to achieve a certain goal, and believe other people will get in the way of their success. 

2. No man is an island, and eventually a Nonchalanter will start chalanting a little when they have a social interaction one time in like a year. 

3. The person they chalanted for softly "rejects" them. They could literally just have been too busy. Or going through something. Or interested in someone else. It's not about YOU. Even the hottest rizziest person you know has like a 75% chance of being rejected because timing/chance/luck just isn't on the side of a lot of people. 

OR

The person actually likes them back and then the Nonchalanter gets scared and ghosts because it was such an unexpected outcome for them. 

4. Either way, the Nonchalanter concludes that Society is Evil 

Nonchalanters and Simps both crave connection, yet push people away. They are more similar to each other than they are to normal people. They are two sides of the same coin!

Anyway, my advice for you to start chalanting without simping, if that is at all possible. However, you should also be patient with yourself. I realized that this post sounds very harsh and critical. Realistically, you won't break out of the vicious Simp-Nonchalanter cycle in one day. It takes years of self-awareness and self-improvement. And try to respect and love yourself the whole way!!

Also, I think short periods of being a Nonchalanter can actually be pretty beneficial. But I warn against making it your whole lifestyle or identity! Same with being a Simp. This is why I'm a huge advocate for No Simp September. That's when you spend a whole month being a Nonchalanter on your sigma grindset to avoid other people's interference in your goals. But it only lasts one month, that's important. 

I did want to give y'all some unrelated life updates before I conclude this post. But they're all Ojibwe-related lmaoo. Indani-gikendaan ji-anishinaabemoyaan (I'm learning the Ojibwe language). I recently acquired a book of Ojibwe legends, a book about the war of 1812 and an Oji-Cree syllabic bible. Updates to follow once I do some studymaxxing with these materials.