Vicky is a demon who killed my firstborn son and tried to force me to eat human flesh (I still like her though)

I have to tell you guys about V*c, or "VickYYYyyYyyYyYY" as I like to call her. Many people believe she has been my best friend for 10 years, and this is true. But she has also been my worst enemy for 100,000 years. Allow me to explain the lore. 

The time Vicky killed my firstborn son 

Long ago I had a vendetta against a suburb. I hated it there, and I thought everyone there was super cringe. I hated them for scorning and excluding me for being weird, and I vowed to get revenge on the suburbanites. I summoned a powerful immortal demon named V*c by drawing this sigil and saying "shingo malingo tik" three times:

I called upon her to destroy the suburb for me, and she did. But she took my firstborn son as a sacrifice!!!! To this day, I don't know what she did to him. Perhaps his flesh was consumed.

Vicky tried to force me to eat human flesh

She asked me under what circumstance I would eat human flesh. I said no way, I ain't doing that. She asked me if I would do it out of curiosity to know what human flesh tasted like and I said no. She asked me if I would taste the flesh of a famous person. I said no. She asked me if I would taste lab-grown human meat cloned from the cells of a person who freely consented to have their meat eaten. I said no I still ain't doing that even if they signed a consent form. She asked me if I would do it for a university study on the effects of cannibalism on the body. I said no. Cope and seethe V*c, I will NEVER consume human flesh. 

Vicky tried to make me write a dissertation on centipedes, knowing that I hate them

Literally a whole ass dissertation. 80,000-100,000 words after many years of research. I told her I wanna write a lesbian romance novel that takes place in seventeenth-century New England (but nothing too spicy in there other than hand-holding). She asked me if I would rather add scandalous scenes to it (if you know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) or write a whole ass dissertation on centipedes. I don't wanna mess up my creative vision. Also, lust is a sin. But apparently the sacrifice of my firstborn son wasn't enough for V*c and now I also gotta spend my intellectual labour on LEGGY BOYS.

After all of this, I still like V*c

she's still my homie and we are bros 4 life. it's a very complicated relationship. she has very cute eyes and a based sense of humour. she radiates joy and positivity and i am very lucky to have her in my life. i dont know what i'd do without her. even demons can be good people. ily V*c <3