yer girl is still alive i was just schoolmaxxing + here are the 10 best books I read in 2025

what's up fam it's yer girl. I wanted to post this to give a life update so you know that I'm still alive. I managed to get out of the suburbs, which has always been my life goal. And I have been schoolmaxxing. I have been doing a lot of random stuff. For example, I wrote this article on a very obscure book I read. I am also considering starting a podcast soon. Sorry if you think podcasters are cringe, but I will be contributing to their population increase soon. 

I read 73 books in 2025. I wanted to make a list of the books I thought were the best in case y'all want bookmaxxing recommendations. I have chosen 10 of my favourite books and tried to cover different genres so that there's something for everyone here. 

1. The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson 

I actually read this whole trilogy this year and LOVED all three books, but I would also recommend this book as a standalone because it is quite beautiful and complete on its own. It's one of those fantasy books that doesn't involve any magic, but it involves extensive world-building. There are fictional countries with different languages, cultures, religions, governance systems, literary traditions, gender roles, etc. And Seth Dickinson has put so much effort into creating each one. It's so fun to immerse yourself in the geopolitics of this world. The protagonist is a brilliant savant from an island that has been colonized by an evil empire, but can she dismantle it by working within the system or is that a hopeless idea?

2. The Rise and Fall of Adam and Eve by Stephen Greenblatt 

I had an obsession with Genesis this year, so I read Milton's Paradise Lost and a monograph about how the New England Puritans were influenced by the story of Adam and Eve called Inventing Eden by Zachary Hutchins. I gotta say I loved Greenblatt's book on how Adam and Eve went from having multiple interpretations to how it came to have a literal interpretation because of Augustine and Milton. Adam and Eve could have been allegorical figures, according to some Jewish commentators. They could have simply represented the reason and desire of a single person. However, Augustine interpreted Genesis literally and came up with the idea of Original Sin. Milton was influenced by this interpretation and it became the dominant one in our culture since then. Now we think of it as the only way to correctly interpret Adam and Eve's story. I would recommend reading the original story in Genesis before diving into this book because it's very short and you will see that it leaves a lot of room for asking questions. Greenblatt writes extensively about Augustine and Milton's personal lives and you will feel as if you know these people by the end of the book, and Milton's loneliness and marital problems will increase your appreciation of Adam and Eve's wholesome relationship in Paradise Lost before the fall and of Satan's loneliness and his jealousy at seeing Adam and Eve happy. Unforunately, I have not read Augustine's Confessions. But Greenblatt makes it sounds like he crashes out a lot in it so I mentally refer to it as Augustine's Crash Outs now and I will be reading it in 2026 to let y'all know what I think!!!!

3. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

I gotta warn y'all that this is considered one of the saddest novels ever written. I adored it and I think it is one of my favourite novels now, but my heart has also been absolutely destroyed. It criticizes education, marriage, gender roles, parenting, and religion. It was so controversial in 1895 that people burned copies of it. I don't wanna give spoilers, but this book turned me into a marriage abolitionist even though I've never even been remotely close to being one before (literally never throughout my life). If you want to read about how education keeps out some of the smartest people because of class discrimination, and about marriage is done more to avoid social stigma than because people love each other, and if you want to become absolutely doompilled and hopeless and depressed then I recommend this book. It was very beautifully written and I genuinely believe tragedy is the highest art form. Also I have another ultra sad book on my shelf right now, The Sorrows of Young Werther, and I will get to that in 2026. Pray for yer girl I will probably be languishing. 

4. The Language Warrior's Manifesto by Anton Treuer 

As I have mentioned on this blog before, I am a non-Indigenous learner of Anishinaabemowin. Ninanda-gikendaan ji-anishinaabemoyaan. Gaawiin anishinaabe ndaawsii. Aapiji niminwendaan o'ow mzin'igan. I have no doubt that Anishinaabemowin will have more speakers in the future, even though it is an endangered language right now. Treuer talks about how this can be done. He wants to move past simply making people memorize word lists in Indigenous language classes for learning things like animals, numbers, or colours. Instead, he wants speakers to be not only fluent but creative. He envisions a world where Anishinaabemowin children's books are not just translations of English stories or bilingual books for second language learners, instead they should be fully in Anishinaabemowin and have culturally-relevant messages. And of course he thinks there should be Anishinaabe literature available for all ages. He talks about his personal life and how this can not be separated from his language journey and I am sure you'll find this very moving and inspiring, especially how he aims to make sure that all his children are fluent speakers. 

Also just to be clear, I'm sure you'll love this book if you care about endangered language revitalization in general, not just for Anishinaabemowin. And if you don't, then it's even more important for you to read this. 

5. Imaginary Maps by Mahasweta Devi 

 Perhaps this is the most problematic book on this list, only because it talks about the Indigenous Adivasi communities of India and the author is not actually from these communities (I could not tell you which community the stories in this book would be the most applicable to as a major flaw of this book is that it homogenizes them!!!!) However, to defend this choice a little, I will say it does an excellent job of criticizing the Indian state, or perhaps the concept of a nation state in general. You can see that it is only able to survive through exploitation of Gond and Santal people and other such communities as most of India's electricity is generated on their land. Resources are extracted from communities that are not fairly compensated for them (Sounds just like Canada or Russia too). There is one story in here about a reporter who sees a pterodactyl in the jungle, and the pterodactyl is a metaphor for knowledge so ancient that he can not even be able to comprehend it, and of course this knowledge precedes the state. I will say this book gave me a lot to ponder about and that's why I think it should be on this list.

6. The Shape of Sex: Nonbinary Gender from Genesis to the Renaissance by Leah DeVun

The subtitle is extremely misleading as this book is actually about intersex people, not nonbinary people. But it was still incredible. I think having the phase where I was obsessed with Genesis was what drew me to this book, as it does talk about the interpretation of Adam as possessing characteristics of both sexes before Eve is separated from his body and they become two distinct people. Intersex characteristics are associated both with demons and angels in the Middle Ages. The theological discourse around them affected how real people were treated (most obviously when it came to nonconsensual surgery on intersex people). It is horrifying to think that these nonconsensual surgeries still continue all around the world. We have literally learned nothing and that's probably what most horrified me about this book even though I think it is a very important topic for the author to write about 

7. Shakespeare's Sonnets

I loved the experience of reading all 154 of these together rather than reading them as standalone poems, because some of them are like series of sonnets that relate to each other (the reproduction sonnets, the horse and rider sonnets, the fair youth sonnets, the dark lady sonnets, etc.). I literally cried over some of these. These were not the only sonnets I read this year, as I also read Sidney's Astrophil and Stella, but nothing can top Shakespeare's sonnets. I read Venus and Adonis a few years ago, and I have not read the Rape of Lucrece, but in 2026 I might make it a point to read it as I would like to read more of Shakespeare's poetry (and honestly Venus and Adonis is worth a re-read! I realllyyy liked it last time I read it). 

8. AI Snake Oil: What Artificial Intelligence Can Do, What it Can't, and How to Tell the Difference

Now I'm no technology understander, and I lowkey wish I lived in the 1500s sometimes. However, this book is pretty easy to understand even if you are medievalbrained. The authors are computer science professors but they try to make this accessible for people. They tell you why the existential threat of Artificial General Intelligence may actually be overhyped, and that the most dangerous thing about AI is what humans are going to do with it, or what humans with bad intentions and who have power are already doing with it. You will learn why artificial intelligence is terrible for trying to predict the future (whether a criminal will continue committing crimes, if a condition will develop into a more serious disease, if a student's performance will improve, etc.) You will also learn why humans should probably be involved in social media content moderation and it shouldn't just be left to AI to make those decisions as they do not understand human culture. I will certainly be reading more on AI in 2026, especially the ethics of it.

9. All the Horses of Iceland by Sarah Tolmie 

Just a gorgeous historical novella that's impossible to put down, and the kind of thing I hope I'll write someday as it's my dream to write historical fiction. Eyvind of Eyri does not believe that his early tenth-century world is very complicated, even as many of his fellow Icelanders convert to Christianity and forget the old ways. According to him, the world is simply composed of humans, animals, ghosts, and luck. I love how simple and straightforward he is as a character, and also how he believes farming is the most noble profession and his dream is to own a farm!! When the Khazar adventurer David presents Eyvind with the opportunity to travel across the known world, Eyvind sees many things he doesn’t understand, like the nameless a nameless white mare who's bewitched. The message seems to be that magic cuts across all cultures, but only Eyvind seems to be smart enought o see this even though he's so humble. 

10. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius 

I read this because my based bigbrained chad sigma stoic boyfriend likes this book uwu. The idea of “Reason” being like your inner god and something that no one can disturb or take from you was very powerful. No matter what the circumstances are, you still have your reason. Before reading this, I had the mistaken notion of Stoics as isolating themselves from the world. I thought that in order to avoid being carried away by their emotions, they must avoid socializing or it would cause them to form attachments to people. But Marcus Aurelius actually preaches love, compassion, and community, as long as you don't form attachments that make you forget that you have Reason, or logos, or free will, purpose, an inner light... however you want to think about that. I should read more philosophy. Also, I swear he gives advice that sounds like my dad sometimes. And my dad studied Sanskrit. So I wonder if there's a school of thought in Indian philosophy that's actually very similar to Stoicism? Also I want to read Epictetus, as Marcus Aurelius admires him a lot and mentions him in this book. 

Honourable Mention: What the Chicken Knows by Sy Montgomery

And lets end off on something extremely silly, but lowkey kinda based. Yer girl had plans to start a chicken farm but that didn't pan out. Nevertheless, this book reminds me that I will never give up on my dream! If you're a hater, just know that I'm sure you'll be paying premium prices for organic eggs from my farm one day lmao. Anyway, chickens have a lot of instincts we don't understand like pecking aggressively at the sight of blood. They are also affectionate to their owners. Roosters are protective of their flocks and can warn others of danger. These are just some incredible facts about them. And I will continue reading about nature and creatures in 2026.

What is Snekcoatl going to read in 2026?????

• More fantasy because I loved the Masquerade trilogy!!! I'll be checking out some of R.F. Kuang's novels, as well as the Dune books and LOTR.
• More nineteenth-century fiction because I loved Jude the Obscure and Great Expectations! I would really like to read Dracula, as well as books by Austen and the Bronte sisters.
• More books by Anishinaabe authors because I liked Moon of the Turning Leaves by Waubgeshig Rice. Leanne Betasamosake Simpson and Louise Erdrich will be next.
• More nonfiction books about India for tradmaxxing purposes. The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen sounds great, as does The Burning Forest: India's War in Bastar by Nandini Sundar.
• More Shakespeare of course!!!
• More philosophy, probably Plato's dialogues.
• More nonfiction about nature, creatures, and ecology. Give recs if you know about CREATURES, I don't really know where to start.
• More historical fiction. I also want to write more of it :)
• More nonfiction on AI such as AI Morality by David Edmonds and Brave New Words by Salman Khan

To all the bookmaxxers out there, whether you are a giganerd or just getting into reading, and whether you plan to read philosophy books or manga in 2026, I wish you the best of luck with your bookmaxxing goals!! Bye, fam!!!

Edgy anti-school poem I found when I was going through the poetry I wrote in high school

So I was looking back on the poetry I wrote in high school (as someone who cringes even at things I wrote only a month ago, this was like self-inflicted psychological torture). However, I was trying to find out about what my thoughts and feelings were like back then due to some personal reasons that I will not mention here. It's like when I re-read my old diaries for "historical information" about a past situation I dealt with, so that I can learn something from it to apply to a similar situation in the present. I do historical research on myself... on my own lore... which is crazy. 

Anyway, one the most based things I found was this poem I wrote when I was in grade 12. It was about how much I hated school. It was just called "school." I'm posting this in case based school abolitionists may take some inspiration from it. 

Every day, in this stifling room I must sit,

wasting away, yet knowing my life depends on it,

the room is a prison, and the air baneful,

my knowledge of the subject at hand, abysmal,

it passes over me,

and in my sleep-deprived state,

I make countless mistakes on a test on which my future is staked

and even when the bell pierces through the numbness of my mind

I am not free,

for then I must return to my dreary home to show them the number they anxiously await,

the number, my score,

because all I ever will be is a number, nothing more

I'll read deep into the night until the words are seared into my soul,

until my eyes are bloodshot and the words no longer register in my brain,

and every day I'll wake up to do it all again

I wanna give the seventeen year-old version of myself a hug cause she was going through a rough time lmao. This was literally so edgy, but so real. You can leave a comment on the original on DeviantArt if you wish. I posted this poem back in 2018: https://www.deviantart.com/aztecatl13/art/School-767309965 

By the way fam, my fren (lets be honest he's more of a Special Fren if u know what I mean ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)) recently sent me an anti-school manifesto that he found that was incredibly based. My other fren also thought this article was based. I do not know who wrote it, however it was very interesting. And I think I might post my own anti-school manifesto on this blog soon. But I don't know if I will take a softer approach (school reform rather than school abolition). The person who wrote the article was very in favour of school abolition though. He thinks reformists are cowards who just wish their favourite subject was taught in a better way. 

I think this person could benefit from some reading on the history of British patterned education systems or the colonial imposition of foreign school systems in other countries. They would only find massive amounts of historical evidence to support their claims. Furthermore, a study of school-free historical and cultural societies could help with developing a modern school-free society. 

Stay tuned for Snekcoatl's anti-school manifesto!! 

im still alive

 yo i havent updated this blog in two months because sch**l is literally k-wording me im so stressed aaaaaahhhh *ScrEAms* and I honestly don't even know what to write about but I just feel like I should update it because it's been two months and my last post was on a pretty cringe topic so I feel like I should write something more interesting this time to make up for it. No one actually reads my blog though so it doesn't matter. Okay um... how about this? I'll make a list of some things I've been thinking about these days and then I'll go through the list and talk about each thing. 

1. Historical time periods I am currently obsessed with 
2. How disappointed I am with the books I've had to read this year for sch**l 
3. My relationship ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
4. Songs I've been listening to 
5. How my writing hobby is going 
6. How much Vicky sucks (lmao if ur reading this hi Vicky) 

Okay so as you can see by the first item on the list, I'm going to be discussing historical time periods I am currently obsessed with. I basically go through phases like these where I get hyperfixated on stuff. So over the summer I read The Romance of Tristan and Iseult and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I became fascinated with Arthurian legend and decided to buy Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Mallory at the recommendation of one of my English professors when I asked him how I could learn more about this topic. There are like a million different adaptations of these stories, but I wanted to acquaint myself with the original myths first before reading the adaptations. The only problem is I haven't really had much of a chance to indulge my obsession because of sch**l taking up all my time and my essays and exams consuming my soul so I don't have time to read things I like anymore. The good news however is that I'm taking a course on medieval literature next semester. I've already had a look at the reading list and it includes Le Morte d'Arthur as well as some other texts I'm really looking forward to reading such as Pearl (written by the same anonymous poet who wrote Sir Gawain and the Green Knight) and the Book of Margery Kempe. I'll let you know how that goes. 

The other historical thing I'm obsessed with right now is Puritan New England. This is because for an American literature class I had to read The Scarlet Letter and a short story called Circumstance, both of which are set during this time period. I'm also helping one of my professors with some research right now on the history of female authors and one of the things I'm researching are captivity narratives written by white women who were kidnapped by Native American tribes. All this stuff has kind of captivated my imagination and just lives in my mind rent-free and I've even been thinking about writing my own historical fiction novel about the Puritans but for that I would have to do way more research because right now it's just a vague fascination. I'm probably going to re-read The Scarlet Letter and probably also check out that one short story everyone always talks about called Young Goodman Brown or something. 

This brings me to the next topic on the list, which is how I'm not really satisfied with the books I've had to read so far in school. It's not that I hated all of them. I actually enjoyed most of them. But I can't really said I've read anything that will be dear to me for my whole life or anything. At the beginning of 2021, I set my Goodreads target as 100 books. So far, I've only read 52. And the two books I enjoyed the most were The Song of Achilles and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, neither of which were school books. I also have so many books that I really want to get to but I don't know if I'll have the time to because school is really frying my brain right now. I want to read Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie, Seven Fallen Feathers by Tanya Talaga, The Only Good Indians by Stephen Jones, The Dawn of Everything by David Graeber, and the list just goes on lol. 

That last book I mentioned was recommended to me by an e-girl, which brings me to topic number 3 on the list, my based e-girlfriend. I don't know if you recall my last post, but I had some vague yearning for the touch of a woman but also felt like I was too busy to have a relationship so didn't really want one but then i changed my mind lmao cause the girl I'm with right now is amazing. I will let u know more about her in a different post cause i should probably ask her how much she is okay with me sharing about her. 

Okay now I'm going to interrupt this post to recommend some bops because I've been listening to a lot of good music lately and I wanna recommend these songs to people. Here's a list of good songs:

1. Halloween by Faun 
2. The Dawning of the Day by Celtic Woman
3. Galdra by Faun 
4. Black is the Colour by Celtic Woman

Yeah it's all just Faun and Celtic Woman basically. 

How my writing hobby has been going 

It's been going alright I guess. The professor I'm working for wants me to contribute a chapter to her book. I'm planning to submit an essay to a literary criticism journal as well. I also wrote a poem for a magazine. And a vignette I'm using as a sample of my work to apply to a creative writing workshop I really want to get into. I also have an idea for an anthology of poems, but I don't have any time to work on that. I have no time to do things I actually like I stg.

And now to talk about my favourite topic on this list:

how much Vicky sucks 

So unfortunately i'm not good at socializing in real life so I probably have only like 2 friends irl. Maybe 3 if we stretch the definition of "friend" a bit. Unfortunatley one of the people who I became friends with is Vicky, and my life has not known peace since then. Every time I check my phone, I have like 49329904994 notifications from Vicky. She stalks me on Goodreads. She makes fake accounts on Twitter to harass me. She spams me random gifs on Discord. She's even worse than my crazy ex. She is deranged. She is like the trickster archetype from mythology. Like Loki. Like Coyote. Like Kokopelli. Vicky if you are reading this, u suk and u should seek help. That is all. 

Okay bye. 

End of the semester

Y'all, I got overly ambitious in September and set a bunch of goals for myself that I haven't been able to reach yet. 

Because 2020 sucked. 

So I've only read 23/30 books for this year's Goodreads target which makes me really disappointed in myself but also... December isn't over yet. Maybe if I read some short books I can still make the target. I really want to set a super ambitious book target for 2021, like 100 books. The reason why is because I think as a literature major, I should really be reading a lot more. Setting a 100 book target will help me a lot in my field of study. But I don't know if it's realistic, since I normally only read about 30 books a year and this year I read even fewer than average.

When it comes to learning languages, I have been taking French lessons but I don't see any real progress. I know that the best way to learn a language is immersion. And of course cause of covid I can't travel to Quebec or something right now. So the best I can do is an intense self-immersion where I study French for like 6 hours a day with French movies, books, and conversation partners. I haven't had the time to do this. I learned a few signs in ASL but haven't made much progress in that area either. I want to gain a working proficiency in French by the end of the year (I mean by the end of the school year not the end of 2020) and reach a good beginner level in ASL, but idk if that's a realistic goal. I want to start learning Spanish next year.

Aaaaaahhhh ok I also wrote "maintain at least a 3.7 GPA" on my list of goals. Damn it. So I've finished my exams and I'm anxiously awaiting the results right now but I think I failed at least one of them lmao. So R.I.P my GPA and my dreams of going to a prestigious grad school program on a scholarship. 

The next thing I had on my masochistic list was "submit writing to at least 10 publications or writing contests." Hmm... lets see how I'm doing with that goal.

1) I wrote a poem for a poetry contest that was a runner up but it didn't win 

2) I wrote a poem for another poetry contest that I haven't heard the result for yet but I doubt I'll win because I looked at past winners and my poem is way too different from the kind that usually wins the contest

3) I submitted a draft for a novel that I got some feedback on but it was rejected. The feedback was useful though. 

4) I wrote a short story for the Youth Outlook Magazine. If you're a young writer under 21, I highly recommend submitting your stories, art or poetry to them. My submission was accepted but they are currently taking some time to edit it right now. Once it's posted, I'll let you know on this blog. In the meantime, check out some other writing or submit your own work here: https://theyouthoutlookmag.wixsite.com/website

5) I am currently working on an article for  INKspire in defense of Mi'kmaq fishing rights. INKspire mostly has articles on current events but they also have opportunities to submit other types of writing for people ages 14-29 who are located in Canada. 

6) I am writing a film analysis about the Mexican movie "Roma" for a magazine that publishes film criticism 

So you see, I haven't accomplished the goal of submitted 10 pieces yet but I am definitely making progress towards that. I have a lot of ideas planned for what to write next, including a poem for another poetry contest. I hope I have enough good content to make a portfolio of my writing by the end of the school year. This may help me become a freelance writer/editor and maybe I can even make some money from people who want me to write stuff for them? idk. 

The next goals on my list include having a good hair care routine/skin care routine/workout routine. This is going terribly. I am kind of blessed that I just have naturally nice hair because of genetics but it could be a lot nicer if I invested in some good products like leave-in conditioner. But I haven't looked into that yet. When it comes to skincare, I spent nearly a hundred dollars on skincare products only to find out that they don't work on me and make my acne even worse (despite buying from reputable brands and choosing products that had good reviews). So that really sucks. I am hoping to go to a dermatologist after covid ends and making them fix my skin. Also I never exercise. 

I haven't had time to work on my art either, aside from this one drawing I made of a candy corn mermaid. It is nice, sure, but it could be better if I regularly practiced drawing (which I don't): 

Speaking of art, please +watch me (follow me) on DeviantArt. My username is Aztecatl13.

I've also been trying out some different recipies in quarantine but I am not really satifised. I want to go vegan but I can not do this until I can have a proper appointment with a dietician and they can check my nutrient levels and stuff (so I'm going to have to wait until after covid to go vegan unfortunately). I don't want to screw up my health from going vegan. I already hate meat because it tastes disgusting and I hate milk and eggs too. But I still eat these things sometimes for the nutritional benefits even though they make me wanna puke. I'm sure I'll be much happier as a vegan if I can find a way to do it in a healthy way. 

The last item on my list of goals was "practicing the flute." I haven't practiced my flute in over a year. I've probably forgotten it by now and will have to learn it from scratch again if I ever do pick it up again, which kinda sucks because I spent a lot of money on lessons, books, and buying my own flute. I am really interested in ethnomusicology (just for fun, not really in an academic way) and chose to take up the flute because of how flutes can be found in every culture's musical tradition. 

I'm going to put out a revised list of goals to follow that are more realistic based on my past failures. Ok, so we'll stick to these 5 things to accomplish by the end of the school year:

1. Read 25 books between now and the end of the school year

2. Learn enough French that I can be certified for a 200-level French course at my university according to its placement test 

3. Submit writing to at least 10 publications or contests

4. Perform well enough at my current internship at a nonprofit organization that I am offered some kind of permanent position within the org. Also apply to 4 more internships or volunteer opportunities. 

5. Be published in an academic journal or present at an academic conference at least once 

These are ambitious but I think I've narrowed things down to stuff I actually care about. 

What are your goals for 2021?

By the way, it's okay if you just say something like "drink more water." That's completely valid and awesome. 

Happy winter everyone! Try to get a UV lamp if you have seasonal depression like me! and stay safe during covid. 

New School Year!!!!!1!!!!!

 New school year new me.

Ok so this year, I am going to have all my classes for university online. I'm not going to risk going to IRL classes because of the virus. I am very excited for this school year, because I am going to be studying linguistics and I am in a linguisitcs research program (it's very exciting and I'll be sure to let y'all know about what I find out during the research). I am also taking a literature class and next semester I will have an art history class called "Indigenous art of North America" which I am looking forward to. When it comes to extracurricular stuff, I joined a club for writing screenplays/writing movie critiques. To be honest I don't even like movies that much, but I joined this club to basically expand my horizons and learn new things. I'll be sure to share some of my writing with y'all from that club. 

Speaking of writing, I also joined the Toronto Writer's Collective which is a nonprofit organization that does creative writing workshops for people. I'm really excited to help run some of these workshops and I'm glad I found such a cool way to volunteer. I'm also doing online therapy so I can have stable mental health haha :) wish me luck. 

Over the summer, I also finished writing a novel! I really want to tell y'all about it, but I sent the manuscript to a publishing company and I'm anxiously awaiting the result of that. So I will post about it in the future. 

Other goals I have this school year (I'm going to look back on this list later to see how many of these things I accomplished):

1. Read 11 books by January (this is part of my yearly Goodreads target. I've read 19 of 30 books so far). 
2. Work on learning French (I signed up for lessons so lets see how this goes)
3. Learn ASL 
4. Get at least a 3.7 GPA
5. Submit writing to at least 10 publications or writing contests
6. Have a good skincare and haircare routine (omg ok so I spent a lot of money on skincare products. lets see if they work). 
7. Follow a workout routine
8. Improve my art, especially using Prismacolors to make epic coloured pencil art
9. Get better at cooking
10. Practice playing the flute 

I'm going to look back on these goals at the end of the semester and update y'all on how much progress I've made. 

Overall even though 2020 sucks for everyone, I feel happier than I used to. Probably because I am keeping myself busy so my brain doesn't get time to fixate on negative thoughts. I can distract myself from the sadness. Also, I actually hate going outside and I'm really self-conscious about my appearance. So covid is actually kinda good for me cause it means I don't have to leave the house (I also work from home and get groceries delivered to my house). I still have to turn on my camera for Zoom meetings which is gross but it's better than having to interact with people face to face :) . And I have a lot of internet friends who live in other countries who I can talk to whenver I feel lonely. So yeah, I would say life is good for now. 

I got an A+ for this U of T paper!

I know it's bad to flex, but this is my blog so I can do whatever I want here. I wanted to share an essay I wrote recently for a literature class in first year at the University of Toronto. The professor gave us an open-ended essay assignment. We were allowed to write about anything we wanted as long as it was inspired by something from the assigned reading. I took a brief quotation from Hannah Arendt's The Human Condition and put my own spin on it. I'm really proud of my paper because I did really well on it, so if any of you want to read it I'll add the link here. 

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1FSgHtjqHKKAJ7xZWsD3qY_LDCjx2eu3OYRKlIqwGXeE/edit?usp=sharing

By the way, if any of you are planning to attend the University of Toronto and want to be English majors and/or are really serious about creative writing, take some courses taught by Al Mortiz. If you sign up for the Vic One program first year which has a supplementary application and a selection process, choose the Northrop Frye stream which focuses on literature. In later years, Al Moritz teaches poetry classes where you have to submit a portfolio of poems to get accepted. I'm considering it. Hopefully if I decide to apply, I'll get in :)

In my journey to become a prolific writer, I'll be sharing lots of tips on this blog so that I can encourage other writers. Remember to seize all opportunities that come your way!

Writer's Craft Prompt: Torture

Hi everyone! I just wanted to share a quick thing I wrote in like ten minutes for my wrtier's craft class. We get daily prompts in that class and I thought this one was particularly interesting. 

Prompt: Write a humorous take on Article #5 from the UN Declaration of Human Rights, “freedom from torture and degrading treatment”.

You have the right to freedom from weaboos and the ways of weaboory. No weaboo may thrust their strange anime fanart pictures in your face when you’re just trying to mind your own business. Nor may they stick earbuds in your ears with full-volume intro songs when you’re trying to do your homework. They absolutely may not, under any circumstance, force you to read their shipping fanfictions. Any weeb who fails to control their urges to the point of endangering the normal, sane human beings around them must answer in international court for their gross disregard of human rights.

I recited these words to myself over and over again and took in a deep breath. “Alright,” I told myself, “no matter what happens, I can rest assured that it won’t be terrible. Weabs can be vicious as they are usually all rabid fangirls who foam at the mouth when they see their favourite voice actors, but that doesn’t mean they’ll attack me unless I do something really stupid.” I reasoned that walking through the anime fan convention would be perfectly safe as I’m sure the weabs there would be relatively tame and law-abiding. As long as I didn’t shout out “SASUKE SUCKS AND SO DOES HIS VOICE ACTOR” at the top of my lungs, none of them would come at me. I took in a few deep breaths and tried to compose myself. My phone interrupted my zen state of mind and made me start panicking again.

“Are you there yet?” my friend Vicky asked. She was the one who was subjecting me to the punishment of walking through the fan convention.

“Yup. I’m at the gates. Bought my ticket. I’m just about to go in,” I said.

“Good. That’s what you get for losing the bet. Make sure to film all of it.” She hung up.

I sighed. The ticket collector was wearing a Sailor Moon cosplay outfit. She looked at me funny before letting me pass. I became painfully aware of how I was the only person there dressed normally. Everyone else was dressed up like their favourite characters. It made me stand out and look like an idiot when they were the real idiots.

I passed by a long line up of fans who were squealing and waiting for an autograph from their favourite voice actor. Artists hung out at the vendor booths, selling overpriced merchandise and fanart. Damn those artists. They deserved to starve for not having a real job, yet here they were travelling from convention to convention making an obscene amount of income.

A teenage boy in a ridiculous long, white wig approached me. His girlfriend was with him. “Hey, do you mind taking a picture of us?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said. What could I do?

They made some dumb poses and then thanked me.

“What are you guys supposed to be anyway?” I asked them, looking at their strange attire. The question was a grave mistake.

“You’re kidding, right? We’re Inuyasha and Kagome.”

“Oh… right… I have a friend who made me watch a few episodes of that anime,” I remembered, thinking of Vicky and how much I was starting to resent her.

“Anime? Wow, how uncultured. You should read the manga.”

My jaw dropped in shock and indignation at being called uncultured as the couple walked away, laughing at me.

I decided that a new clause needed to be added to the UN declaration of human rights, or else I’d become the next Hitler trying to purge the world of these subhumans:

A weeb may not subject you to the cruel and inhuman punishment of suffering the drudgery of an anime fan convention.

A revision of two of my older poems

I've already posted both of these poems on this blog before, but that was when they were still in their draft form and hadn't been refined. I wanted to post the revised versions because I'm really proud of them. I'm going to perform them at my school's upcoming poetry slam and I'm really excited. I think they are much better when they are read aloud rather than on paper... speaking of which, perhaps I should start making video productions of my slam poetry? I mean, I don't have a lot of skills when it comes to video editing, but I have friends who will be willing to help me... or I could pay someone to help me out. I do believe in the importance of paying artists and editors to do stuff. People should always be patrons of the arts and be willing to pay artists very well, after all. Artists are one of the most important members of society. Hey, maybe that can be the beginning of a new poem! Anyway, here are my two pieces. They both have really simple titles as well.

School

I’m in grade twelve and I’ve never felt more withered by routine,

Everyday in the same stifling room I must sit,

Feeling myself wasting away,

Yet knowing the whole course of my life depends on it,

Every classroom feels like a prison,

With the air baneful,

My knowledge of the subject at hand is abysmal,

Yet I am shackled by the expectations of society,

To get up and leave, I could never dare,

You don’t need to skip class if your mind’s never there,

Everything just passes over me,

And in my sleep deprived state,

I make countless mistakes on a test on which my future is staked,

And even when the bell pierces through the hazy numbness of my mind,

I am not free,

For then I must return home and show my parents the number, my score,

Because all I ever will be is a percentage,

Nothing more

And the rest of my existence is a dull fog,

I’ll read deep into the night until the words are seared into my soul and my eyes are bloodshot,

Until the words no longer register in my brain,

I’m in grade twelve and I’ve never felt so withered by routine,

And everyday I’ll wake up and do it all again,

What is it even for?

I’m falling for some elusive goal I can never reach,

I live in the Age of Knowledge, I think

That every spare moment should be filled with extra reading, extra learning  extracurriculars, volunteering, a part time job,

The stress is suffocating and when I can’t get it all done I drown in shame and sorrow,

We were all born curious,

Eager to learn about the world,

Remember when you were that kid in grade three who loved dinosaurs?

Somewhere along the way our natural desire for knowledge that made us human was extinguished,

Now we are all enveloped by the wings of self-hatred every time we check Teach Assist

But maybe there’s still hope,

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now,

Maybe I do,

Maybe we all do,

But you, you’re smart and talented and you’ll get through this,

Look at how far you’ve come already,

You may be going through Hell but you won’t stop in it,

you’re worth more than your productivity

And don’t you forget it

Immigration 

I’ve always felt like an outcast,

I’ve always had to put on a mask in front of those who I love,

I’ve felt like I had to hide my inner demons so that I didn’t scare everyone away,

Putting on a fake smile and saying I’m okay,

As a child of immigrants I’ve had my roots severed

So that I’m neither from here nor from there,

It seems I have no identity,

No history to be proud of,

No three thousand year old continuous culture to die for

Over here, my life is so much better,

As the rest of my people suffer from the remnants of a dark colonial past

I’ve been told I’m easily distracted

My head in the clouds,

It’s because I’ve been thinking about the  people who once were here,

When there were fields of corn all around,

The longhouses stood,

And peace was secured with wampum belts,

You see I’m done with the hypocrisy of the West,

How it likes to pretend it’s more morally enlightened than the rest,

You can still imagine the hellish scene,

The people suffering from a foreign disease,

The babies crying through the night,

Torn away from their parents

Never to hear their mother tongue again,

Getting Christianity’s lies rammed down their throats,

By the most unchristlike Christians

Turn on the news you’ll see nothing’s changed,

Don't let them fool you!

Prime minister after prime minister have all been the same,

The policies about First Nations today are no better,

The government still wants them exterminated,

No one wants to deal with the indigenous problem anymore because it’s such an inconvenience,

The change has to come from the people because it’ll never be from the politicians

So don’t tell me I’m idolizing the past,

I’m not daydreaming idle dreams,

I’m dreaming for those who’ll never dream again,

People say I’m too emotional,

Well it’s true that I cry a bit too easily

that I do not know how to love without giving it my all,

So I’m sorry that I have a heart,

I’m sorry that I’ll never comply or drop bombs from the sky and say I was “just following orders”

Every time I go back to visit my poor developing homeland I see crippled children with bloodshot eyes and I can count their ribs,

I see my people dehumanized because this cruel world filled with evil people has decided that some lives matter more,

That white lives matter more,

So many suffer back at home while I’m here,

I feel like I’m wasting away my freedom,

Taking my blessings for granted,

I hate myself and wonder why I’m not the one starving on the streets when it seems I deserve it more than those who are,

And every night I ask myself

Why does the sun shine on both the just and unjust?

Well fam, I guess that's enough feels for one night. Stay woke!

Guys, seriously... what am I doing with my life?

First of all, I'd like to apologize for not updating this blog in a while. I have a lot of ideas for new content and various topics that I'd like to cover... but I've just been so busy or exhausted that I haven't had time to write the sort of detailed and informative articles that I consider of a high enough quality to post. So it's not that I'm out of ideas. I never have writer's block or artist's block. I'm just too dead inside.

And now I'm going to do something I usually never do on this blog... talk about myself. I mean, I usually post serious articles about history or politics or at least something slightly serious like art/short stories/book reviews... but I never talk about myself. So how about I do a deep feelsy post 
E X P O S I N G myself in front of the whole world? 

I don't even really know where I'm going with all this, but we'll see...

So first of all I have to say that I've been under a lot of stress and that's mainly academic stress. I'm about to go into grade 12 in September (senior year for any Americans reading this) and it really fills me with worry and dread for the future. Basically, if I don't get good grades this year I'll kinda die. I don't want to be homeless and live in a barrel even though I admire Diogenes. And also, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. My dream is to be a writer but of course my parents aren't a fan of this idea, just like any good parent should react to a child who wants to go down the starving artist path.The highlight of my summer was going to a real archaeology field school and helping to excavate a 600 year old village built by an Iroquian speaking group who were probably the ancestors of the Wendat (I know I know, you're all probably like OMG WHAT? WHEN WILL YOU TELL US MORE? Well I promise I'll do lots of detailed posts about everything I learned there later... but for now let me rant.) All the other students there seemed so legit and had their act together. Many of them wanted to go into archaeology, history or indigenous studies at Trent University. And then there was me. I mean, I love history to death (I run a nerdy history blog, remember?) but I don't know if I'd want to pursue a career in it. I have stereotypical brown parents that want me to do the doctor/lawyer/engineer thing and all my IRL friends want to go into STEM fields. 

Also, I feel like I have a right to say this because I excel in arts and humanities related subjects... they all suck. 

Seriously who would you save? Even if you have a PHD in classics from Oxford I'm sure you'd rather save the STEM majors because they contribute so much more to society. 

But i suck at math so i guess i'll die 

Everyone who knows me well knows that there are three things that I love: history, philosophy and linguistics (including the English language and all the literature and stuff that it includes). And who are we kidding, these fields are all useless to humanity. I know someone who is doing a PHD in linguistics and is relying on food banks. No one cares about what people like that do and I don't think you can blame them for not caring. 

Have you ever heard an engineering major brag about how smart they are? well even though I hate it when they do that, I have to admit they are 100% justified in doing so. Because anyone can learn Latin, analyze literature, or understand weird ideas written by dead philosophers but it takes a special type of smart person to do whatever it is that engineers do. 

Is there any way I can study something I'm really passionate about while still satisfying my parents and societal expectations?

Maybe I might get into the University of Toronto or McMaster by some sorcery into a health science program and become a doctor and then quit at some point to become a historical fiction novelist like my dreams but that's not possible. 

WAIT A MINUTE

This might be the answer to my prayers

So recently I've come across the Arts & Science program at McMaster which seems really prestigious because they require an 88% average which includes Calculus, Advanced Functions and English as well as a great supplementary application proving that you contribute a lot to the community with volunteering or extra curricular programs. It only accepts 60-70 students a year!!!!!! I CAN DrEAM. 

I just really love the idea of it because it's like an "undecided major" program because it's great for people who have commitment issues like I do and can't imagine limiting ourselves to one field. Finally, I can take classes in both physics and philosophy. But IDK if I'll actually get in. 

They should really make more arts programs that have high admission requirements instead of just a 75% average and portfolio like most of them do. That will teach people some respect for arts majors. 

ok that's all 

#rantover