im still alive

 yo i havent updated this blog in two months because sch**l is literally k-wording me im so stressed aaaaaahhhh *ScrEAms* and I honestly don't even know what to write about but I just feel like I should update it because it's been two months and my last post was on a pretty cringe topic so I feel like I should write something more interesting this time to make up for it. No one actually reads my blog though so it doesn't matter. Okay um... how about this? I'll make a list of some things I've been thinking about these days and then I'll go through the list and talk about each thing. 

1. Historical time periods I am currently obsessed with 
2. How disappointed I am with the books I've had to read this year for sch**l 
3. My relationship ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
4. Songs I've been listening to 
5. How my writing hobby is going 
6. How much Vicky sucks (lmao if ur reading this hi Vicky) 

Okay so as you can see by the first item on the list, I'm going to be discussing historical time periods I am currently obsessed with. I basically go through phases like these where I get hyperfixated on stuff. So over the summer I read The Romance of Tristan and Iseult and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I became fascinated with Arthurian legend and decided to buy Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Mallory at the recommendation of one of my English professors when I asked him how I could learn more about this topic. There are like a million different adaptations of these stories, but I wanted to acquaint myself with the original myths first before reading the adaptations. The only problem is I haven't really had much of a chance to indulge my obsession because of sch**l taking up all my time and my essays and exams consuming my soul so I don't have time to read things I like anymore. The good news however is that I'm taking a course on medieval literature next semester. I've already had a look at the reading list and it includes Le Morte d'Arthur as well as some other texts I'm really looking forward to reading such as Pearl (written by the same anonymous poet who wrote Sir Gawain and the Green Knight) and the Book of Margery Kempe. I'll let you know how that goes. 

The other historical thing I'm obsessed with right now is Puritan New England. This is because for an American literature class I had to read The Scarlet Letter and a short story called Circumstance, both of which are set during this time period. I'm also helping one of my professors with some research right now on the history of female authors and one of the things I'm researching are captivity narratives written by white women who were kidnapped by Native American tribes. All this stuff has kind of captivated my imagination and just lives in my mind rent-free and I've even been thinking about writing my own historical fiction novel about the Puritans but for that I would have to do way more research because right now it's just a vague fascination. I'm probably going to re-read The Scarlet Letter and probably also check out that one short story everyone always talks about called Young Goodman Brown or something. 

This brings me to the next topic on the list, which is how I'm not really satisfied with the books I've had to read so far in school. It's not that I hated all of them. I actually enjoyed most of them. But I can't really said I've read anything that will be dear to me for my whole life or anything. At the beginning of 2021, I set my Goodreads target as 100 books. So far, I've only read 52. And the two books I enjoyed the most were The Song of Achilles and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, neither of which were school books. I also have so many books that I really want to get to but I don't know if I'll have the time to because school is really frying my brain right now. I want to read Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie, Seven Fallen Feathers by Tanya Talaga, The Only Good Indians by Stephen Jones, The Dawn of Everything by David Graeber, and the list just goes on lol. 

That last book I mentioned was recommended to me by an e-girl, which brings me to topic number 3 on the list, my based e-girlfriend. I don't know if you recall my last post, but I had some vague yearning for the touch of a woman but also felt like I was too busy to have a relationship so didn't really want one but then i changed my mind lmao cause the girl I'm with right now is amazing. I will let u know more about her in a different post cause i should probably ask her how much she is okay with me sharing about her. 

Okay now I'm going to interrupt this post to recommend some bops because I've been listening to a lot of good music lately and I wanna recommend these songs to people. Here's a list of good songs:

1. Halloween by Faun 
2. The Dawning of the Day by Celtic Woman
3. Galdra by Faun 
4. Black is the Colour by Celtic Woman

Yeah it's all just Faun and Celtic Woman basically. 

How my writing hobby has been going 

It's been going alright I guess. The professor I'm working for wants me to contribute a chapter to her book. I'm planning to submit an essay to a literary criticism journal as well. I also wrote a poem for a magazine. And a vignette I'm using as a sample of my work to apply to a creative writing workshop I really want to get into. I also have an idea for an anthology of poems, but I don't have any time to work on that. I have no time to do things I actually like I stg.

And now to talk about my favourite topic on this list:

how much Vicky sucks 

So unfortunately i'm not good at socializing in real life so I probably have only like 2 friends irl. Maybe 3 if we stretch the definition of "friend" a bit. Unfortunatley one of the people who I became friends with is Vicky, and my life has not known peace since then. Every time I check my phone, I have like 49329904994 notifications from Vicky. She stalks me on Goodreads. She makes fake accounts on Twitter to harass me. She spams me random gifs on Discord. She's even worse than my crazy ex. She is deranged. She is like the trickster archetype from mythology. Like Loki. Like Coyote. Like Kokopelli. Vicky if you are reading this, u suk and u should seek help. That is all. 

Okay bye.