im still alive

 yo i havent updated this blog in two months because sch**l is literally k-wording me im so stressed aaaaaahhhh *ScrEAms* and I honestly don't even know what to write about but I just feel like I should update it because it's been two months and my last post was on a pretty cringe topic so I feel like I should write something more interesting this time to make up for it. No one actually reads my blog though so it doesn't matter. Okay um... how about this? I'll make a list of some things I've been thinking about these days and then I'll go through the list and talk about each thing. 

1. Historical time periods I am currently obsessed with 
2. How disappointed I am with the books I've had to read this year for sch**l 
3. My relationship ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
4. Songs I've been listening to 
5. How my writing hobby is going 
6. How much Vicky sucks (lmao if ur reading this hi Vicky) 

Okay so as you can see by the first item on the list, I'm going to be discussing historical time periods I am currently obsessed with. I basically go through phases like these where I get hyperfixated on stuff. So over the summer I read The Romance of Tristan and Iseult and Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I became fascinated with Arthurian legend and decided to buy Le Morte d'Arthur by Thomas Mallory at the recommendation of one of my English professors when I asked him how I could learn more about this topic. There are like a million different adaptations of these stories, but I wanted to acquaint myself with the original myths first before reading the adaptations. The only problem is I haven't really had much of a chance to indulge my obsession because of sch**l taking up all my time and my essays and exams consuming my soul so I don't have time to read things I like anymore. The good news however is that I'm taking a course on medieval literature next semester. I've already had a look at the reading list and it includes Le Morte d'Arthur as well as some other texts I'm really looking forward to reading such as Pearl (written by the same anonymous poet who wrote Sir Gawain and the Green Knight) and the Book of Margery Kempe. I'll let you know how that goes. 

The other historical thing I'm obsessed with right now is Puritan New England. This is because for an American literature class I had to read The Scarlet Letter and a short story called Circumstance, both of which are set during this time period. I'm also helping one of my professors with some research right now on the history of female authors and one of the things I'm researching are captivity narratives written by white women who were kidnapped by Native American tribes. All this stuff has kind of captivated my imagination and just lives in my mind rent-free and I've even been thinking about writing my own historical fiction novel about the Puritans but for that I would have to do way more research because right now it's just a vague fascination. I'm probably going to re-read The Scarlet Letter and probably also check out that one short story everyone always talks about called Young Goodman Brown or something. 

This brings me to the next topic on the list, which is how I'm not really satisfied with the books I've had to read so far in school. It's not that I hated all of them. I actually enjoyed most of them. But I can't really said I've read anything that will be dear to me for my whole life or anything. At the beginning of 2021, I set my Goodreads target as 100 books. So far, I've only read 52. And the two books I enjoyed the most were The Song of Achilles and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, neither of which were school books. I also have so many books that I really want to get to but I don't know if I'll have the time to because school is really frying my brain right now. I want to read Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, The Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie, Seven Fallen Feathers by Tanya Talaga, The Only Good Indians by Stephen Jones, The Dawn of Everything by David Graeber, and the list just goes on lol. 

That last book I mentioned was recommended to me by an e-girl, which brings me to topic number 3 on the list, my based e-girlfriend. I don't know if you recall my last post, but I had some vague yearning for the touch of a woman but also felt like I was too busy to have a relationship so didn't really want one but then i changed my mind lmao cause the girl I'm with right now is amazing. I will let u know more about her in a different post cause i should probably ask her how much she is okay with me sharing about her. 

Okay now I'm going to interrupt this post to recommend some bops because I've been listening to a lot of good music lately and I wanna recommend these songs to people. Here's a list of good songs:

1. Halloween by Faun 
2. The Dawning of the Day by Celtic Woman
3. Galdra by Faun 
4. Black is the Colour by Celtic Woman

Yeah it's all just Faun and Celtic Woman basically. 

How my writing hobby has been going 

It's been going alright I guess. The professor I'm working for wants me to contribute a chapter to her book. I'm planning to submit an essay to a literary criticism journal as well. I also wrote a poem for a magazine. And a vignette I'm using as a sample of my work to apply to a creative writing workshop I really want to get into. I also have an idea for an anthology of poems, but I don't have any time to work on that. I have no time to do things I actually like I stg.

And now to talk about my favourite topic on this list:

how much Vicky sucks 

So unfortunately i'm not good at socializing in real life so I probably have only like 2 friends irl. Maybe 3 if we stretch the definition of "friend" a bit. Unfortunatley one of the people who I became friends with is Vicky, and my life has not known peace since then. Every time I check my phone, I have like 49329904994 notifications from Vicky. She stalks me on Goodreads. She makes fake accounts on Twitter to harass me. She spams me random gifs on Discord. She's even worse than my crazy ex. She is deranged. She is like the trickster archetype from mythology. Like Loki. Like Coyote. Like Kokopelli. Vicky if you are reading this, u suk and u should seek help. That is all. 

Okay bye. 

Aztec historical flash

Mexico- 1450 AD 

My mother's people belong to the desert. There are not a lot of people in our village. We live on what we hunt- deer, rabbits, and wild turkeys. Our priests chew peyote and recieve visions to guide us. The chief of our village is a generous man. He has a bobcat pelt draped around his shoulders.

My father's people further south who live in big cities call us the Chichimeca, which means "dog people." They think of us less civilized as them because we sometimes move with the seasons and don't stay in one place for long. We just have a different way of life as them. 

One day, my father announced that he was tired of the desert. "There's nothing to see here but sand and cacti. Coyotl, my son, you're a man now. You're 15 summers old. I think it's time to take you on a visit to my country." 

My younger siblings were jealous of me, as none of them had ever left the desert before. My mother was happy for me, saying it's important for young men to see the world. She gave my father a kiss, and soon I was on my way with him to his hometown: the great city of Tenochtitlan. 

We travelled by foot for most of the way. My father knew exactly what inns to stop at. He used to be a merchant a long time ago, so he had a lot of experience with travelling all over the region on business trips on behalf of Tenochtitlan. 

We made a pit stop in the Otomí lands. "They make the best octli here, son." He let me try some of the intoxicating drink because he said I was old enough to handle it. I winced at the taste. My father laughed and said there would be far better things to eat and drink in Tenochtitlan. 

When we got closer to our destination, we got on board a canoe. I nearly tipped it over in excitement when I saw Tenochtitlan on the horizon. 

It looked like a city for gods. A huge temple-pyramid was in the heart of the city, and it was the most massive thing I'd ever seen. It was constructed with such care and beauty. It seemed like a giant mountain to me with its summit above the clouds. 

When we got closer to the city, I could that there were thousands of canoes. Indeed, the most common way of getting around in Tenochtitlan was by canoe. The whole city was built on a lake, so there were more canals than streets. Hundreds of engineers were tasked with the job of keeping the buildings safe from floods. 

We rowed past the chinampas- gardens that floated on the lakewater. They grew crops there like maize and beans. 

Finally, my father took me to a splendid, bustling marketplace. It was full of everything you could imagine. I went up to a food stall and ordered a tamale- maize dough mixed with chillis and wrapped inside a corn husk. It tasted delicious. 

My father bought a bracelet made of shark teeth that was made by a coastal people I'd never heard of. "Your mother will love this," he said. 

I shuddered when I saw a stall that sold pelts from a fierce animal called a jaguar. They were from the hot Mayan lands in the south, full of jungles and powerful city-states. 

No one thought I was strange, even though I clearly looked foreign and I was not very good at speaking Nahuatl. They were used to getting travellers from all over the world. 

When it was time to leave the magnificent city, I was full of stories to tell my younger siblings. Tenochtitlan was an incredible place, but I was starting to miss them and my mom. 

"I've travelled far and wide," said my dad. "But there's no place like home."

Mexico's Philosopher King: Nezahualcóyotl of Texcoco

The following is my response to a Quora question that asked "which historical figure do you have a crush on?"

I think Nezahualcóyotl of Texcoco was really interesting. He was the emperor of the city-state of Texcoco (part of the Aztec empire). Under his rule, Texcoco was ushered into a Golden Age of art and literature. He called together an ensemble of philosophers, artists, musicians and other wise men who could develop their crafts in the court of Texcoco. He was the Philosopher King of Mexico. He even gathered materials for an impressive library, which didn’t survive the Spanish conquest. Don’t you just hate it when libraries don’t survive conquests?

People usually remember him for being a gifted engineer and architect. He created a dike which separated the fresh and brackish waters of Lake Texcoco, which I suppose is really important, but I don’t find it that interesting. What really fascinates me about him is his poetry. He wrote a lot about death and the inevitability of oblivion. Some of his poems still manage to be pretty and lighthearted, talking a lot about butterflies and quetzals and stuff. Here’s a sample:

He makes the Eagles and Ocelots dance with him!

Come to see the Huexotzinca:

On the dais of the Eagle he shouts out,

Loudly cries the Mexica.

The battlefield is the place: where one toasts the divine liquor in war,

where are stained red the divine eagles,

where the tigers howl,

where all kinds of precious stones rain from ornaments,

where wave headdresses rich with fine plumes,

where princes are smashed to bits.

There is nothing like death in war,

nothing like the flowery death

so precious to Him who gives life:

far off I see it: my heart yearns for it!

And they called it Teotihulcan

because it was the place

where the lords were buried.

Thus they said:

'When we die,

truly we die not,

because we will live, we will rise,

we will continue living, we will awaken

This will make us happy.'

Thus the dead one was directed,

when he died:

'Awaken, already the sky is rosy,

already dawn has come,

already sing the flame-coloured guans,

the fire-coloured swallows,

already the butterflies fly.'

Thus the old ones said

that who has died has become a god,

they said: 'He has been made a god there,

meaning 'He has died.'

Even jade is shattered,

Even gold is crushed,

Even quetzal plume are torn . . .

One does not live forever on this earth:

We endure only for an instant!

Will flowers be carried to the Kingdom of Death:

Is it true that we are going, we are going?

Where are we going, ay, where are we going?

Will we be dead there or will we live yet?

Does one exist again?

Perhaps we will live a second time?

Thy heart knows:

Just once do we live!.

Like a quetzal plume, a fragrant flower, 

friendship sparkles:

like heron plumes, it weaves itself into finery.

Our song is a bird calling out like a jingle:

how beautiful you make it sound!

Here, among flowers that enclose us,

among flowery boughs you are singing.

the earth is a grave and nothing escapes it, nothing is so perfect 

that it does not descend to its tomb. Rivers, rivulets, fountains and 

waters flow, but never return to their joyful beginnings; anxiously 

they hasten on the vast realms of the rain god. As they widen their 

banks, they also fashion the sad urn of their burial.

Filled are the bowels of the earth with pestilential dust once flesh and bone, 

once animate bodies of man who sat upon thrones, decided cases, presided in 

council, commanded armies, conquered provinces, possessed treasure, destroyed 

temples, exulted in their pride, majesty, fortune, praise and power. Vanished 

are these glories, just as the fearful smoke vanishes that belches forth from 

the infernal fires of Popocatepetl. Nothing recalls them but the written page.

-Nezahualcoyotl

Fun fact: He’s also on the 100 peso banknote in Mexico 

A Brief History of Insanity

Draft of my upcoming Spyglass article
~~~

One of Plato’s most enduring ideas was called the Allegory of the Cave. This story is quite easy to visualize, as it involves people chained inside a cave in such a way that they can only see shadows dancing and flickering across a wall. The shadows are the only entertainment they have ever known and none of them are aware of the world outside the cave. Plato asks us to imagine what would happen if one of them managed the painful and life-changing ascent to sunlight and then returned back to the cave, telling the others that there is much more to life than images on a screen. The cave dwellers would see the one who escaped as insane even though he spoke the truth. Plato believed his own teacher, Socrates, was an enlightened man whom the people of Athens considered crazy because of his wisdom.  The allegory shows the disturbing tendency of our society to label ways of thinking we don’t understand as ‘madness’. Part of the reason why we stigmatize the mentally ill is because we fear that they tell the truth. We often consider them to be less intelligent than us, failing to recognize the unique talents and creative gifts that they can offer the world.

In the book Madness and Civilization, French philosopher Michel Foucault expresses disgust and outrage at the dehumanizing treatment of the mentally ill. Throughout history, they have been subject to all kinds of torture and locked up in asylums. Many endured unethical medical practices like shock therapy or lobotomies. Yet Foucault argues that not all societies of the past were like this and that some were better at accepting differences. There is a lot we can learn from medieval European society for example, in which the wisdom of people we would now label as mad was sought out. They would be allowed to wander free and were often hired as court jesters or entertainers, positions in which they could often get away with questioning the authority of a ruler. Conditions that we now view as disorders, like Williams Syndrome, which causes one to have an excessively trusting personality and view all strangers as close friends, were seen as gifts.  People with Williams often score less than average on standard IQ tests, yet in ancient societies their charming personalities were the inspiration behind mythological elves depicted as helpful and good-natured. Instead of focusing on their strengths, such as communication and empathy, children with Williams are seen as problematic individuals who need to be fixed.

Even Socrates was said to have vivid hallucinations- like the type a schizophrenic would have. Plato and the historian Xenophon considered this to be a ‘sacred illness’ and believed that these visions were from the gods. The lesson here is to embrace diversity, especially different ways of thinking. Far too many creative and talented minds have been shunned by society simply because they didn’t conform to what is considered normal. People who work with the mentally ill seem to view their patients as problems rather than as human beings while the education system aims to make them act like everyone else instead of embracing their own gifts. The truth is that the world would not be worth living in if everyone thought the same way.

Haudenosaunee Clan Mother

A/N: I decided to do a really small collaboration project with my internet friend, who is a great artist and does commissions! Please follow her on Instagram @artprincess235 and check out her DeviantArt account as well: https://www.deviantart.com/mariajosecreations Remember you should always support indigenous artists like her ;) . Basically, we wanted to do some informative posts about the role of women in traditional indigenous societies before Europeans arrived. We're going to start with Iroquois Clan Mothers and might continue this in the future. The art is done by her. The informative descriptions are written by me.

The Iroquois Confederacy was one of the most powerful alliances in North America prior to European contact. The Haudenosaunee, as they call themselves, have an origin story in their oral tradition about the Great Peacemaker and the formation of the league. Historians believe this to have happened around 1142. Soon after, The league came to dominate the Great Lakes area. In 1722, the Tuscarora joined and the league became known as the Six Nations.

Haudenosaunee society followed a matriarchal family structure. Each family traced its lineage back to a female ancestor. After a woman got married, her husband would move to her family’s longhouse and their children would be considered a part of the mother’s clan.

One of the most important roles of women among the Haudenosaunee was that of Clan Mother. The Clan Mothers were the leaders of the clans and were passed down the title by their female relatives. They had to oversee village affairs such as food distribution and land usage, and had to make the critical decision of deciding who would be the chief.

But even though Clan Mothers played an essential role in the government, the main reason why they were venerated was because they ensured that children were taught the traditions of the people and that the culture survived. Clan Mothers arranged marriages and named children at birth. No ceremony could begin without a Clan Mother, because they knew about all the procedures that should be followed. They ensured that the customs and ways of the Longhouse did not die out. Just as fires in the hearths of longhouses were guarded so they wouldn’t burn out, the Clan Mothers guarded the culture of the people.

My First Book Vlog: New Finnish Grammar

The Adventures of the Axial Squad: Wisdom and Benevolence

Zarathustra was starting to doubt Plato’s driving skills. “Is this the right place?” he asked.

“Well it’s not supposed to be a sprawling metropolis like Athens,” said Plato, checking Google Maps on his iPhone X.

Confucius cautiously emerged out of the car, careful not to trip on his silk robes.

Meanwhile, the Buddha felt right at home. He was used to meditating in the forest and calmly settled under a tall cedar tree.

“No wonder you got invaded by the Persians. Give me that map!” Zarathustra said. Of course he had lived long before the Persian wars, but the four ancient philosophers had spent the last few days getting to know each other ever since they had been plunged into the modern world. This included learning the history of each other’s civilizations. “Wait…” he squinted at the screen, “this really is what they call the native reserve. Our trade routes never reached this continent.”

“My people lived in more sanitary conditions than this back in ancient China,” Confucius said, evidently disappointed by the disregard for human rights that the new society seemed to have. He thoughtfully stroked his long beard.

As everyone gathered around, Zarathustra lit a small fire nearby. He believed that fire had cleansing properties. After what he had seen so far, he thought the world needed to be cleansed.

“I’ve always had a problem with democracy because I think it inevitably leads to tyranny, and clearly with what we’ve learned about the politicians of this time, I’m right,” Plato declared.

“You certainly are,” Confucius said “some people are just better at ruling than others. This society needs a strong emperor with a mandate of heaven, not some silly democratic system.”

“I’ll have to disagree with you right there. Democracy can definitely work if the people are educated. But the Buddha hasn’t said anything yet. I think we should ask him what he thinks,” suggested Zarathustra.

Everyone turned to the Buddha expectantly, who had been meditating quietly the entire time in his saffron robes, a serene expression on his face.

“What this society needs is to focus on the present moment, not look to the past. I always tell my disciples to concentrate on the present when they meditate. There was a time for great emperors in the past, but it is now up to the people to govern themselves.”

He said these words enigmatically before closing his eyes again.

“Yes, we must focus on the present moment. That involves this society seeing itself as a part of the world at large, as one with the universe and all of creation. They can travel to space now, so they should have no problem with doing that. They should pursue wisdom so that they don’t fall for the lies of their politicians,” said Zarathustra.

All around the philosophers, the trees swayed mystically and formed a bluish green shroud. In their warm native climates, the four men had never beheld the sight of conifers with silvery blue leaves. There was great diversity among the coniferous foliage as there were pine trees with their prickly, thin needles. Then there were the cedar trees, with branches that stretched out like the fan of a peacock’s tail.

“In my language, Avestan, mazda-yasna means worship of wisdom. Anyone who has the curiosity to learn more about this beautiful world can pursue it,” said Zarathustra.

“It’s not too different from the Greek word philosophy, the love of wisdom,” Plato observed. He was slowly warming up to the idea that anyone could rise to the myriad-minded thinking of a philosopher-king with disciplined study. Wisdom was not just something you were born with.

“Not only is wisdom important but benevolence as well. Every human has the capacity for altruism and good deeds, to look past themselves and help others,” said Confucius.

“Wisdom and benevolence. I like the sound of that,” Zarathustra smiled. His sacred fire was still burning.

If it weren’t for the poverty stricken community nearby, with its stream of polluted water and its inadequate housing, the landscape would have been sublime. The philosophers could understand why living off the land had been a lot better for indigenous people rather than relying on the meager scraps that were left for them by their oppressors.

Just then, an Anishinaabe man wandered into the forest, searching for cedar to burn in a smudging ceremony. He smiled at the peculiar visitors. “Don’t mind me.” He said. “I was just looking for something to help me cleanse.”

A Quick Primer on the Wendat People

The Wendat were a confederacy comprised of five indigenous nations that lived in what is now Simcoe County, Ontario, near the Georgian Bay. These nations included the Attinniaoenten (bear), Hatingeennonniahak (cord), Arendaenronnon (rock), Atahontaerat (deer) and Ataronchronon (swamp). They all share a language, common origin, traditions and spiritual beliefs. Within each nation are eight clans, which are basically family groups that trace their lineage through the female line. These are represented by eight animals (turtle, wolf, beaver, snake, porcupine, eagle and bear). The Wendat Confederacy was formed around 1420 and lasted until the dispersal of the Wendat around 1650 by the Haudenosaunee (Iroquois League). 

Huron or Wendat?

Many historical sources refer to to the Wendat as the 'Huron', although this wasn't the name they called themselves. 'Wendat' translates to 'island dwellers' or 'people of the peninsula', while 'Huron' was a slightly offensive nickname given to them by the French meaning 'boar's head' or 'ruffian'. Some people even hyphenate and refer to them as the "Huron-Wendat" people. It's probably best to just stick to Wendat if you can remember to do that. 

Inside the Workings of the Wendat Confederacy 

When you think of confederacies of indigenous people, the most famous one that comes to mind are the Haudenosaunee (People of the Longhouse) or the League of Iroquois. But it's important to consider that the way the Wendat Confederacy operated was quite different. Unlike the Haudenosaunee, it was quite common for people of different Wendat clans to live in the same villages alongside each other and even share hunting territory. The most serious issues were taken to the confederacy level of government to discuss, but there were also courts on the village and tribal level. Each tribe had two chiefs that would keep each other's power in check, the civil chief and the war chief. The whole point of the confederacy forming was to stop blood feuds and maintain peace, which is why although murder was considered a terrible crime, it wasn't allowed to be settled with revenge killings. Theft was also considered a minor crime, but treason and witchcraft could get you executed. The Wendat were superstitious and had a lot of beliefs surrounding witchcraft and the dead. 

The Longhouses 

A Wendat village would be the site where longhouses were set up. A longhouse would have no windows, only smoke holes in the roof to let out smoke from the hearths. Conditions could get really stuffy, and often the residual smoke could cause blindness in the elderly. Archaeologists have figured out that there were usually two families to a hearth, and five people to a family. So if a longhouse is found with six hearths, it would have had 60 people. This is how the population of the Wendat was estimated. The French explorer Samuel de Champlain estimated that the Wendat population was around 30,000 before the epidemics of 1634 that were brought over by the French, which reduced their population to about 9000. To sustain a population of 30,000, corn horticulture was very important. Corn reached the southern Ontario region from Mexico around 500 AD. It helped the Wendat to develop a more sedentary lifestyle, while other people such as the Algonkians in northern Ontario still lived semi-nomadic lives thanks to the fact that their land had poor soil for growing corn. 

Trade with Neighboring People

The Wendat were big on trade, so much so that the official language of trade in the region was Wendat. The Algonkians were very skilled hunters, and the Wendat often traded with them for hides. They also traded with Iroquian groups (Iroquian here refers to the language family, which includes Wendat, Petun, Neutral, Wenro and Haudenosaunee). This term is not to be confused with 'Iroquois', which refers to the Haudenosaunee alone. Wendat traders would venture out by canoe or snowshoe and had trade routes so extensive that they knew what the Dutch traders were up to in New York a lot better than the French in Quebec knew. 

Sources on the Wendat 

Most of what we know on the Wendat comes from what missionaries documented. Gabriel Sagard and Jean de Brebeuf are our two leading sources. The French explorer Samuel de Champlain also wrote about them. Jean de Brebeuf's writings are particularly fascinating, as he lived among the Wendat and observed many of their rituals such as the Feast of the Dead. Every 15 years or whenever the natural resources of an area were exhausted, a Wendat village had to move on to a new site. They'd dig up the graves of all their dead, which were usually buried underneath houses, and toss the bones into a huge ossuary pit lined with beaver robes. Before tossing in the bones, families would hold the bones of their loved ones one last time. The bones in the pit would be stirred so that they could all mingle. Wendat beliefs about the dead included that they thought people had two souls. One soul left the body when the person died, the other stayed behind forever. 

So what happened to the Wendat?

After their population was reduced by the epidemics, the Haudenosaunee (Iroquois League) attacked them around 1650. The Haudenosaunee had their numbers reduced by French attacks, and they were looking to take Wendat captives to replenish their population. Many Wendat were kidnapped, tortured, killed or chased away. Today, Wendat descendants can be found on the Wendake reserve right outside Quebec city. Other branches went to Christian Island, and one to Oklahoma, where they became known as the Wyandot. 

This post was made possible by the Boyd Archaeological Field School

The Aztec Emperor's Axolotl: A Short Story

 Originally Posted on Medium's Creative Cafe Website

The axolotl never failed to amaze Ce. He would often converse with the strange salamander-like creature from the swamps of Mexico for hours at a time. As it swam around in its tank, it seemed to have the enlightened expression of a wise, ancient sage. Ce observed it as it swam among the new aquarium decorations he bought, which were miniature Mexican pyramids.

“Do you like your new aquarium decorations, Cipactli? The one you’re investigating right now is supposed to look like the pyramid of Cholula. It has the greatest volume of any pyramid in the world” Ce told the creature.

The axolotl turned from its inspection of the ruin to face Ce. It seemed to give an enigmatic smile.

Ce sighed. “It’s really sad how the Spaniards built a church on top of it. Maybe I can get rid of the church when I’m crowned as huey tlatoani of All the Land Between the Waters today. Or maybe I should keep it as a holocaust museum to inform outsiders of what happened to our people. What do you think, Cipactli?”

Of course, the axolotl had no way of answering. The red fringes around its face fluttered as a guest made his way into Ce’s room.

“Ce! There you are! Stop talking to that creature and get ready. You’ll be late for the coronation ceremony. People are coming from all over the Land of the Eagle and the Land of the Condor.”

It was the silver-haired elder, Amoxtli. In his arms, the short man clutched several pages that had been folded up accordion style as well as vials of black and red ink to document the details of the upcoming event.

“This indolence can not be tolerated of an emperor! You know that, Ce.”

“I’ll be there in a second, Amoxtli. I just have to feed Cipactli an earthworm.” Ce said. As he opened the can of worms, the axolotl seemed to sense that it was feeding time. It joyfully darted to the surface.

Ce donned a majestic azure cloak with a crimson trim before he departed. It was decorated in parrot feathers and swept the ground. It matched the colour of his long, embroidered loincloth. He had a look at himself in his obsidian mirror and was pleased to see that his jade earrings looked magnificent. His colourful finery stood out on his cacao-coloured skin, and his long, glossy black hair was embellished with a turquoise pin in the shape of a two-headed serpent.

“Alright, I definitely look regal enough” he decided before setting out for the throne room of the palace of New Tenochtitlan, formerly Mexico City.

Amoxtli was already there, addressing an eclectic crowd made up of various indigenous groups. Even at his ancient age, he remained a charismatic orator.

“My people, we will rise again like a phoenix reborn from ashes! Our centuries of oppression under a foreign regime have come to an end. Emperor Ce will work tirelessly to restore order as he rules over All the Land between the Waters, the two subcontinents of the Western Hemisphere!”

A grand applause rose up from the crowd. Delegates had traveled from every corner of the land expecting Ce to extinguish their worries and to usher them into a Golden Age. They represented the various indigenous people of Ce’s dominion, from tiny nomadic tribes like the Guna people from the Amazon rainforest to the descendents of empires and nation-states such as the Aztecs, Mayans, Incas, and the mound-building cultures from along the Mississippi River. Everyone hoped their leader would bring them glory and spearhead the nation to the zenith of its influence. Ce could see all these expectations plainly on the faces of the diverse crowd. Everyone wore the same serious countenance, for although they all held the same unabashed adoration for Amoxtli the Elder, they let Ce know that even though he had been chosen he had yet to prove himself.

Ce twitched nervously on the dais as he stood in front of his people. He felt butterflies in his stomach like the restless souls of his dead warrior ancestors. He began to present his carefully rehearsed speech.

“My people,” he began his address, “allow me to elaborate on the greatness of our ancient civilizations and how far we’ve come since then. Our ancestors built great cities, like Tenochtitlan with all its canals and causeways, pyramids, palaces, and observatories. It was an island city in the middle of a glistening, blue lake and was the inspiration for this new city we are standing in right now, New Tenochtitlan.” It was the usual theme of many public speeches in the land, and no one in the room was surprised by it. Indeed, they had all heard similar descriptions so many times before that it wasn’t very hard for them to imagine the ancient cities he spoke of. “Or like Qosqo, a city built high in the Andes mountains, laid out in the shape of a crouching Mountain Lion and filled with gold-encrusted temples and palaces with jeweled walls. It had fine fortresses with impressive stonework and green terraces for farming and herding woolly llamas and alpacas.”

He scanned the crowd for reactions and noticed that a high-cheek boned, queen-like woman from Qosqo smiled proudly. Her piercing obsidian eyes were bright and fierce. Ce observed that she wore a necklace with a chakana pendant. It was an ancient Inca symbol and everyone know that she was the descendant of a powerful people. She carried the rainbow banner of Qosqo and looked like some kind of goddess-like apparition.

Ce could hear cheers rise up all around the hall, including from the woman who had caught his eye. Everyone drank in the flowery words of the glorious, eloquent speech. The Elder Amoxtli looked up from his writing and smiled. It was time for him to present Ce with a headdress of quetzal plumes. Great elation stirred in the room.

Some of the last delegates that had arrived from the furthest regions of the empire now started to settle in. They brought their heraldry with them. Ce caught a glimpse of the purple flag of the Iroquois confederacy. Some of the very last people to arrive were from Nunavut, carrying flags baring its red inuksuk symbol. It was part of the Inuit’s vast Arctic homeland, the northernmost part of the new nation. Ce heard the stomping of large boots and knew it meant that the Aónikenk people had arrived from their even colder homelands in Patagonia, near in proximity to Antarctica. They were greeted warmly by the Inuit.

“I see some more people have arrived. Welcome, brothers and sisters!”

The Inuit and Patagonian groups were the last ones to arrive since they had to come to Ce’s capital of New Tenochtitlan from so far away, but their presence was of great symbolic importance, showing that the new confederacy of indigenous nations was united from north to south, from the Land of the Eagle to the Land of the Condor.

The Elder finally crowned Ce with the feathered headdress. Ce felt powerful knowing that the feathers towered above him and made him look tall and formidable. He was handed a golden chalice by Amoxtli. It had been carved with a design of two birds, the mighty eagle of the North and the condor of the South, the emblem of the new nation.

“When you indulge in the luxurious chocolate elixir that I have had handed you in that chalice and then proceed to sit on your extravagant throne, don’t be fooled. Beware! It will seem like the most comfortable chair in the world at first, but it is really a seat of pain. You were chosen by the people because they thought you would be strong enough to endure struggle throughout your reign.” The Elder declared.

Ce drank deeply from the golden chalice, taking care not to spill a drop of the frothy chocolate drink. It was sweet at first, but the aftertaste was bitter. Then Ce felt a burning sensation in his mouth, because it just wouldn’t be complete without added chilies and allspice. Every ingredient had been a metaphor, of course. Ce had to be careful not to let the childish thrill of being huey tlatoani consume him, just like he couldn’t expect the chocolate drink to be sugary and sweet throughout.

He could become corrupted with his power, and his subjects could end up feeling bitter towards him. Even though the Land of the Eagle and Condor had survived many hardships, it still had many dangerous and powerful enemies all over the world, but mostly in Europa and even some within its own borders.

Ce could never be sure of making it through the next day alive, as someone could easily slip poison into his food, as unexpected as chilies in a chocolate drink. It had happened to Tizoc, an ancient ruler of the old Tenochtitlan, so perhaps it could someday happen to a ruler of the new. His people would have no use for a dead huey tlatoani.

Ce’s paranoid thoughts were interrupted by the Elder declaring that a feast would commence in honor of the coronation. It was the most lavish and beautiful feast that you ever would have seen, and it was a miracle that such a young nation was able to provide so much food to its citizens. Almost every dish had used one of the Three Sisters or a healthy ancient grain like quinoa. There were smoked tamales and stuffed turkeys, slabs of pemmican with fresh Saskatoon berries, Navajo tacos on loaves of fry bread, pozole soup served in gourd bowls, duck nuggets, wild rice, and rabbit stew.

For dessert, the Inuit had brought something they called ice cream, or akutaq. They offered it to the huey tlatoani.

“I’m sorry but I don’t think I can have that. I’m lactose intolerant.” Ce said.

“Do not worry, Revered Speaker,” an old Inuk said, with wrinkly skin much paler than Ce’s. He had long, straight hair the colour of dark chocolate, and laugh lines around his small, brown eyes with epicanthal folds that had evolved to guard against the cold, icy wind of his homeland. Ce recognized him as the man who had brought in the red inuksuk banner of Nunavut, and learned that he was named Atka after the midnight sun.

“Our akutaq just has caribou fat, cloudberries, seal oil and some tundra greens, all mixed in with snows from our Arctic homeland. None of it contains the white man’s dairy products.” He chuckled.

Ce smiled and tried some of the strange concoction, knowing that it would be rude if he didn’t and he didn’t have his lactose intolerance an excuse anymore.

As the feast progressed, Ce took some more time to make speeches.

“All of you have democratically elected delegates to represent you. These delegates will travel back to their sub-nations once the festivities that have commenced my reign have ended. I believe this system shall work to make sure all of the diverse cultures of this land are represented in some form or another. ”

Ce Tepuzmachiyopilcac ended up being the only one who dared to try the Inuit ice cream that night, along with the Inuit themselves and their new friends the Aónikenk of Patagonia, who thought the dish was a genius invention and wondered if penguin fat would work just as well as caribou.

The dessert for everyone else was squash smoothies with chia seeds, maple syrup candies, and of course liquid chocolate. Oceans of it.

“As our beloved elder has suggested, I’m also going to appoint two people who will help me rule and keep my power in check. One of these viziers will be from the Land of the Eagle, while the other will be from the Land of the Condor. But don’t worry, this won’t be some kind of dictatorial triumvirate.”

“Anything’s better than the white man’s way” Atka grumbled.

“You all have the right to rebel, for it is not the people who must fear their emperor but the emperor who must fear his people.”

And so the feasting and merriment continued throughout the evening, signalling the dawning of a new age for the people of All the Land between the Waters. In time Ce would learn that the revolution had been the easy part.

Why the Dark Ages weren’t so Dark: Revisiting Medieval Europe

A/N: Alright so in this post I'm going to talk about something that a lot of followers of this blog probably don't like much. Europe. Take it as a lighthearted devil's advocate piece until I can do some research to update this blog with a quality post about indigenous culture. I wrote this for Medium. You can read the article at its original source here. 

Imagine yourself in 13th century Western Europe. You probably see yourself as a serf, tied to the land and suffering under the back-breaking labor that your oppressive feudal lords force you to do. Chances are that you’d also be starving and infected with plague because of the extremely unsanitary conditions of the time. If you’re a woman, say goodbye to all personal liberty. Most of your social interaction is done at church, where priests hold sermons in Latin that you don’t understand a word of because you never learned Latin. You never even learned to read, right?

Why do we oversimplify such a culturally rich epoch of European history? Though historians disagree on the exact start and end date of the Middle Ages, most place it somewhere between the fall of the Western Roman Empire in 476 AD and Columbus’ voyage to the Caribbean in 1492. This period is considered to be a time of isolation for Europe in which not much trade occurred, and progress in science and technology remained stagnant. Yet new research has shed light on the accomplishments of the time. For example, many centers of learning such as Oxford and the University of Paris were established. Though many resources were lost in the pursuit of alchemy, it helped people to discover many new elements that would later be added to the periodic table. As for the suppression of women’s rights, some inspiring female historical figures still managed to emerge such as Joan of Arc who lead the French army to victory, and the German nun Hildegard von Bingen who studied botany and medicine. Their names have echoed throughout time and still evoke our awe today.

I believe we shouldn’t underestimate the impact that the Middle Ages have had on Western thought, for some of the greatest works of literature emerged from this time. Our ideals of courtly love came from the great chivalric romances, such as Amadeus de Gaulle, in which a heroic brave knight saves a princess from a dragon. Some other epic works of literature like Dante’s Divine Comedy and Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales were conceived in this time. The folk songs and fairy tales of today would be nothing without the Middle Ages, for perhaps no other time period in history has captured Western imagination as much. The Dark Ages may not have been the most scientifically advanced or morally enlightened, but they certainly weren’t a dark time for storytelling and singing epic ballads that still endure today.

The Pan-Indigenous Time Travel Bucket List

If you’re a fellow history enthusiast and your friends are always reminding you that time travel isn’t possible, ditch them. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

Every day, you’re bombarded with news about morally corrupt politicians that leaves you feeling cynical as you lament the fall of glorious rulers from long ago. You groan at the latest degenerate pop culture trends and return to your books to avoid being consumed by your terrifying thoughts about the human condition. As you read, you start longing to live among the people of your favourite culture or epoch. Their way of life captivates you and you even feel certain that you would rock their fashion style if only you were of their world. Your friends and family members view you as unsocial and eccentric, wondering why you impose so many contemplative hours of solitude upon yourself. All they ever do is criticize your flaws and brush aside your accomplishments, much like society does to the historical figures of your favourite time period.

Trust me, I understand. To cheer you up, I’ve compiled a list of travel destinations along with the eras it would be most ideal to visit them with a time machine if you ever happen to have one in your possession. These societies were all established by the indigenous people of the Americas. You may be familiar with some of the more popular places on this list, although I’ve intentionally tried to highlight some lesser known gems. I highly recommend enjoying the remainder of this article with some hot chocolate, as it was invented by the Aztecs. 

1: Haida Gwaii

Let’s start up north and work our way south, as only seems logical for a sightseeing list covering destinations across the Americas. 

Right off the coast of British Columbia lies the archipelago of Haida Gwaii, meaning “islands of the people”. The region is also known as Queen Charlotte Islands to those who somehow think that’s a better name. Among the beautiful temperate rainforests you will find century-old totem poles, which depict animals and bare family crests such as eagles, ravens, bears and salmons. The ruins of a once prosperous trading village built by the Haida people, called Ninstints, can also be seen. It is guarded by twenty six totem poles and contains cedar longhouses. Long ago the Haida used to go whale hunting and fishing in their giant seafaring canoes. I recommend finishing off your tour of Haida Gwaii before 1774, right before the first European contact.

2: Cahokia

Reaching the zenith of its influence some time between 1050 and 1350 CE, the city of Cahokia near present day St. Louis, Missouri is known for its mounds. These vast earthen structures were built as burial chambers for magnificent rulers. The largest one, Monk’s Mound, stands thirty metres high. In addition to having 120 mounds, Cahokia also once boasted an astronomical observatory nicknamed ‘woodhenge’ and a defensive palisade. It was the cultural and economic centre of the Mississippian culture. It’s hard to miss, being the largest Native American settlement north of Mexico.

3: Teotihuacan

Very few mysteries in archaeology are as alluring as Mexico’s Teotihuacan. Built around 100 BCE, it was completely abandoned and in ruins when the Aztecs absorbed it into their empire in the late 1300s, so to this day no one knows who built it. It contains many impressive pyramids and plazas and was also probably the first site at which the Mesoamerican plumed serpent deity was worshipped. Known to the Aztecs as Quetzalcoatl and the Mayans as Kukulkan or Gukumatz, it was a god of wind, wisdom and learning who was said to have introduced civilization to the Aztecs. I suppose you could say Quetzalcoatl was like the Mesoamerican Prometheus.

4: Caral

Just like any good list blogger should, it’s looks like I’ve saved the best for last. Located in the Supe Valley of Peru, the city of Caral was built in 2600 BCE, which meant that it was flourishing around the same time as Mesopotamia was. As you can tell by its age, it was an astonishing discovery as it pushed back the limits of the history of the Americas to a much earlier time than previously thought. Among its ruins, many recording devices known as quipus were discovered. These were also used by a lot of later Andean cultures such as the Incas, who could tie knots on the quipus. It is entirely possible that this culture could have been really advanced in mathematics and even have a concept of zero.

As your journey comes to an end, be prepared for the overwhelming feeling of wanderlust. It is sort of like homesickness except it involves a yearning for distant places and a desire to explore other cultures. I’ve felt it many times before. If you didn’t understand the allure of the ancient Americas before, perhaps now you are closer to realizing what the hype is all about.