announcing my rooner era and a rant about how society hates female desire

Hello frens. For those of you who know about my monthly goals for the month of June, I am proud to announce that I have finished them all. Yes, even my goal of going for a run at least 4 times this month!!!! That means that I am officially a rooner now. I even have Hoka shoes. I will continue rooning in July. 

He's just like me fr <3 

To celebrate getting my monthly goals done, I made eggplant parmesan!!! It was really good !!!! Here's the link to the recipe I used, for anyone interested: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/25321/eggplant-parmesan-ii/ 

So I wanted to share some lingering thoughts I have after having a long phone yap sesh with one of my homies who is like 10 years older than me. She's a girlboss and hella based, but I find it funny that our friendship lowkey doesn't pass the Bechdel test sometimes because our conversation topics tend to be about love and relationships. But I consider her to be an expert on these matters, so it is much better to talk to her about this stuff than it would be with some clueless woman in her early 20s. I will share some stuff I pondered about after yapping with her, but first here is a brief intermission to drop my monthly goals for July. Also lmao Canada Day is coming up, and I know it will be more lit this year than perhaps it has ever been before. 

Snekcoatl's July Goals (I'm making them extra spicy and ambitious this month)

1. Languages: 
• Finish the workbook "Our Ojibwe Grammar" by Rick Gresczyk 
• Move on to Lesson 9 of the Kidon Miinawaa Introductory Ojibwe online textbook after reviewing the relevant flashcards in my Anki deck
• 10 hours of practicing reading and writing in Hindi (the Linguin app has short stories and articles and Hindi, so I might practice with that)
2. Rooning and other fitness related stuff:
• Go on at least 4 roons again
• At least 12 gym check-ins
• Get at least 400,000 steps of walking this month 
• Try at least 3 at-home workouts from this youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/@fitbymik/posts?themeRefresh=1
3. Reading
• Finish reading Roger Williams and the Creation of the American Soul: Church, State and the Birth of Civil Liberty by John M. Barry (it's really good so far. I love how the author talks about historical figures as if he knows them personally lmao)
• Finish reading the second book of the Masquerade trilogy, The Monster Baru Cormorant. (IT'S SOOOO GOOOD SO FAR EEEE I LOVE BARU CORMORANT AND ABDUMASI ABD THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE GIRL AND MY FAVOURITE BOY)
• Try to get like at least 1/4th of the way through at least one other book for research purposes 
4. Creative stuff
• edit the short story I finished writing recently 
• write a poem inspired by Saint Francis of Assisi 
• finish at least one lesson of an online asynchronous course on coloured pencil art that I'm taking 
5. Self-care stuff
• do the extended version of my skincare routine lmao
• do hair stuff and nail stuff. basically the girl maintenance stuff that I have been putting off for some time because I generally do not like being reminded that I have a corporeal form. 

Okay, that should be enough to keep me busy. I'm going to revisit these on July 15th to see if they need to be adjusted because they are definitely ambitious but I am also unemployed lmao and I won't be in school again until October when I start my PhD. 

Also, my birthday will be in July!!!!!! I might need to take my birthday off to relax a bit and not work towards these goals that day and maybe have a party with some frens. 

Now it's time to tell you about the stuff I was pondering about. 

Basically, my fren was talking about how concerning it is that some left-wing and liberal feminist dating advice written by women and for women actually sounds a lot like conservative stuff now that feminism was supposed to be fighting against in the first place. She was talking about posts that encourage women to find a m*n who provides for them. Not only a decent life but a luxurious one so she can be soft and feminine. And about finding a m@n who is obsessed with you and makes you his priority in life or something. Bruh? All I want is for him to show emotional intelligence. 

This all seems very concerning and regressive to me and my fren for two reasons that we discussed. One is that the whole point of feminism is for women to not have to depend on men. A good man can be a nice add-on to an already fulfilling life, but that's all he should be. Another issue we have with the advice being given to women right now is that is reinforces rigid notions of gender. For example, it discourages women from being the pursuer or making the first move if they want to and it makes men feel like they should never expect or want the woman to make an effort. It's okay for a man to a babygirl!!!! or a princess!!! or a tradwife!!! It's 2025, after all. And don't even get me started on "a ReLaTiOnsHip ONLy wOrkS iF tHe MaN lOvEs tHe WoMaN mOrE tHaN sHe LoVEs HiM." Y'all are supposed to be mutual simps for each other. That is literally the whole point of being in a relationship. Stop being bitter and doompilled.

This brings me to the thesis of this post which is that I think society hates female desire and wants us to suppress it. Incels tell us to settle for people we are not even attracted to, and terfy radfems tell us to be with some simp who is obsessed with us and has a "provider" kink. Bro why don't you provide some good listening skills and some genuine interest in my hobbies? My point is that women are not trophies to be won. We have our own desires. But somehow it's always "find someone who will spoil you" and never "find someone who you like so much that you actually feel like spoiling them." Normalize women feeling violent carnal desire instead of expecting them to take a passive role in relationships. 

Anyway, that's all for today. Maybe next time I'll tell you guys about the time I used to want to abolish the nuclear family until I became more pro-natalist and pro-family and explain the way my thinking changed over time lol. 

Bye, frens!!

 

I wish bell hooks and Robin Wall Kimmerer did a crossover episode to discuss the Windigo and greed

 What's up y'all? Recently, I had the pleasure of reading "All About Love: New Visions" by bell hooks and "Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants" by Robin Wall Kimmerer. At first glance, the only thing that these books may seem to have in common is that grad students like reading them. But I actually see a lot of similarities in how bell hooks talks about consumerism and how Robin Wall Kimmerer talks about the Windigo. 

The Windigo is a creature that the Anishinaabe speak of that consumes human flesh. In pop culture, you may have seen Windigos appear in horror movies or games. But people who reduce the Windigo to "a sp00ky creature from Native American mythology!!!1!!" are missing the point of Windigo stories. They are cautionary tales. You see, the Windigo was once a human. It was consumed by insatiable greed. No matter what it consumed, it wasn't enough. Humans like this are at risk of "going Windigo." After that, they begin consuming human flesh. If you want to make an artistic rendition of a Windigo but give it contemporary significance, just draw a greedy CEO with a suit and a tie!

One of the essays in Braiding Sweetgrass is called "Windigo footprints." This is where Kimmerer gives the following description of Windigos:

"It is said that the Windigo will never enter the spirit world but will suffer the eternal pain of need, its essence a hunger that will never be sated. The more a Windigo eats, the more ravenous it becomes. It shrieks with its craving, its mind a torture of unmet want. Consumed by consumption, it lays waste to humankind."

This is why I love Robin Wall Kimmerer's writing style. So as you can see, the Windigo is at its core empty. He feels hollow, and there's nothing he can do about it. 

Now lets see what bell hooks writes about consumerism. I am going to share a quote that is in chapter 7 of "all about love," which is called "greed." Keep in mind that Kimmerer's book at its core is about respecting plants as if they are our elders and teachers, which requires a lot of humility to do so. bell hooks speaks of the importance of not giving up on love and using love to not only guide our relationships but political movements as well. She addresses rampant lovelessness in society while Kimmerer confronts the blatant disrespect of nature. And maybe these things are intertwined. 

Many children are brought up in loveless households and continue to be deprived of love as adults. When this happens, they are consumed by greed.

bell hooks writes:

"Intense spiritual and emotional lack in our lives is the perfect breeding ground for material greed and overconsumption. In a world without love the passion to connect can be replaced by the passion to possess. While emotional needs are difficult, and often impossible to satisfy, material desires are easier to fulfill."

This passage really makes me imagine the lovelessness a Windigo must feel. It almost makes you feel compassion or sympathy for the Windigo (while still wanting to stay away from it). 

Now, there are plenty of counterpoints to what bell hooks is saying. Are wealth fantasies always caused by feelings of emptiness or lovelessness? Perhaps not, but they certainly can be. bell hooks also talks about American consumerism in particular, and the same may not apply to other cultures. 

If someone from a Dalit community in India dreamed of owning a fancy car and eventually bought one after becoming wealthier (which is actually possible because caste discrimination and class discrimination are two separate issues in India), any criticism of this action would probably come from a very privileged person. Who are they to judge what a person from a disadvantaged background does to make themselves happier?

That being said, I do think lovelessness and perhaps a lack of passion, hobbies and interests can exacerbate material greed. And I still do think bell hooks is describing how Windigos are made, even if it may not be the only way. 

If you've read either bell hooks or Kimmerer or both or you're simply familiar with Windigo lore, what do you think? What is the contemporary significance of the Windigo in the face of the loneliness epidemic and environmental destruction?

fences

yer girl has finished reading Changes in the Land: Indians, Colonists, and the Ecology of New England, which is a book that i once asked a Discord eboy to buy for me and it is embarrassing how long it took for me to actually get to it, but i got through it pretty quickly when I did. It's a good thing this blog lets me yap about academic topics in a non-academic way lmao, like that time I shared my thoughts on Thomas More's Utopia: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2024/04/yer-girl-has-thoughts-on-utopia-by.html 

If I had to make everything I say sound like a conference presentation or essay I would go bonkers!!!!!

Anyway, Changes definitely makes me want to read more works of environmental history. Imagine more historical monographs that treated a land as an active participant in history rather than just the setting for it. Perhaps economic historians would argue that market forces determine the course of history or something, but the environment actually plays an even greater role and influences human culture. Cronon captures how nature and culture influence each other in this quote from pg 13 of Changes "Environment may initially shape the range of choices available to a people at a given moment, but then culture reshapes environment in responding to those choices. The reshaped environment presents a new set of possibilities for cultural production, thus setting up a new cycle of mutual determination." He also captures the essence of his methodology on pg 15 "Our project must be to locate a nature which is within rather than without history, for only by doing so can we find human communities which are inside rather than outside nature." 

Cronon talks about many fascinating things in this book that made me see society and nature differently. For example, about controlled burns of trees by Native tribes. These deliberate fires created conditions favourable to strawberries, blackberries, raspberries and other gatherable foods. And of course, it increased the growth of grass and therefore attracted deer in large numbers which could be hunted. Because the grassy areas were enlarged, it raised the herbivorous food supply and resulted in an increase of the deer and elk population. This in turn increased the population of lynxes and wolves.

This is mind-blowing, because it means Native hunters were not just depending on the bounty of nature, they had actually created the conditions for a food source that they were able to harvest. 

Europeans just thought the abundance of species in North America meant that they found an earthly paradise, virgin land and an untouched wilderness.

But this post is about fences.

I'm going to talk about the fence as a symbol, because Cronon touched on it briefly. 

You see, the English agricultural system mixed the raising of crops with the keeping of animals. This meant that they needed to separate the animals from the crops of the animals would eat the crops. They needed fences!!! So the fence became the most visible symbol of a land that Europeans thought had been "improved" by their settlement. The Puritan John Winthrop criticized the Natives because they did not enclose any land. 

I wanted to draw your attention to a passage from Mary Rowlandson's captivity narrative. This is a pretty commonly read text especially in classes about early American literature. But in case you're not familiar with it, Mary Rowlandson was a Puritan woman who was held captive by the Wampanoag people during King Philip's War. This is an example of Rowlandson clinging to signs of English modification of the land for comfort. It's from the section of the narrative called "the seventh remove."

“As we went along, I saw a place where English cattle had been. That was comfort to me, such as it was. Quickly after that we came to an English path which so took with me that I thought I could have freely laid down and died” 

Traces of cattle and an English path were a great comfort to her, and something she clung to during her captivity. Imagine how excited she would have been by a fence.

By the way, this is shameless self promo, but you're also reading MY blog so I guess it doesn't matter. The essay that I wrote on Mary Rowlandson is one of my favourite pieces of academic writing I've ever done and I'm quite proud of it (it also got me into two PhD programs, waitlisted for one, and interviewed by three). If you wanna read it, here's the google drive link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iLfOi2TlilTt_0VlvW1be-Q6k0_2DnJG/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=110475621005188424434&rtpof=true&sd=true 

I would like y'all to now ponder the modern meaning of fences. What about white picket fences in North American suburbs? What do they symbolize? 

And why for the love of God do we destroy the native vegetation of North America to make flat patches of grass, like lawns and golf courses, and then declare this an "improvement" and a comfort???

It's because our society has unfortunately inherited too much from the New England Puritans, including how we see nature. In the Puritan worldview, man is meant to serve God but nature is meant to serve man. 

This is why I am a suburb abolitionist. 

June monthly goals halfway check-in

yer girl is languishing, crashing out and absolutely devastated rn but i literally don't even have time to lament, bewail and bemoan my fate. i dont have time to be sad ;w; 

I need to cope by keeping my schedule full and keeping on top of my goals, also I will try to spend time with frens and family instead of socially isolating.

So at the beginning of this month, I made a list of some monthly goals to accomplish. Since today is June 15th, I need to do a halfway point check-in to make sure I'm staying on track. Honestly fam, it's not looking too good for me right now but I think there's still hope.

The halfway check-in is also a good chance for me to revise any goals that I think are too unrealistic. Also, if you're considering incorporating monthly goals into your own life, I suggest having no more than 5 per month and making sure they all have to do with different areas of your life. If you make them all about fitness or all about academics it might be harder to get them all done. 

So here are my goals for June:

1. Ojibwemaxxing: Review 400 Anishinaabemowin vocabulary flashcards on Anki and move on to lesson 8 of the Kidon Miinawaa Introductory Ojibwe online textbook. By the way if you're interested in learning Ojibwe, you can find this free online course here: https://ciel.utsc.utoronto.ca/ojibwe-textbook/

2. Healthmaxxing: Go for a run (at least 4 times)

3. Annoying task which is extremely important but that I have been putting off for too long: Do my student visa application lmao

4. Creativitymaxxing: Draw a fairy sitting on a mushroom surrounded by giant bugs

5. Hobbymaxxing: Pick up at least 1 new hobby. Ideas include knitting, chess, or playing the flute. 

Now let's see how I've actually been managing in all these areas:

1. Ojibwemaxxing: Aapiji niminochige! I've actually been doing really well with this one and hit my target. I also started working through a grammar workbook called "Our Ojibwe Grammar" by Rick Gresczyk. This made me realize that I need to set a much more ambitious target for Ojibwemaxxing in July! 

2. Healthmaxxing: lmao i have failed to do this. I haven't been on a single run. But there is still time to get on this and it still seems realistic, so I won't revise this goal.

3. Extremely important task: have not done this lmao i need to get on this

4. Creativitymaxxing: I did the lineart but haven't started the colouring yet. The colouring will take a very long time to do though. I use prismacolor coloured pencils as my preferred medium. My technique has improved so I know how to make fur or hair look more realistic now, and this is good cause one of the creatures in this piece is a giant tarantula and I need to make sure the texture of the orange and black fuzz looks realistic!! I won't revise this goal even though it's a time consuming one, cause honestly art is extremely therapeutic for me and I need that right now because I have been a very sadge girl lately. 

5. Hobbymaxxing: This goal needs to be scrapped. Duolingo has chess lessons by the way, if anyone's interested. I tried them and they were alright, but I feel like I would rather improve my technique in hobbies I already have than pick up a new one right now. 

Alright, it seems like I can achieve all of these. I'll let you guys know what happens!

Also, I desperately need to get back into creative writing. Stay tuned for narrative poems, novel excerpts and short stories!! 

I have no air of mystery about me because I yap too much

Ever since I could remember, I've wanted to be mysterious. I want people to think I am weird but in a cool way. But this is not really possible, because I tend to overshare and yap too much about myself especially online. I mean I run this blog for example, and there's no way anyone would think of it as mysterious. Also sometimes I try to say stuff that sounds mysterious, but people figure it out instantly. For example I tried to come up with weird allegories to ask people stuff. I asked my friend if he would rather die of dehydration or of drinking poisoned water and he saw right through me and was like "you're just trying to ask if being alone forever or being in a toxic relationship is worse." Yeah that's really what it was. I'm sorry I couldn't be deeper than that. Or one time I asked someone if she would feel bad for a guy if he gets eaten by tigers in a forest in Bangladesh after some Bangladeshi villagers warned him about man-eating tigers and told him to stay away from the forest. Would you feel bad for someone like that, or would you just say they are stupid for not heeding the warning?? The person I asked about this figured out I meant would you still feel bad for a person if they dated or befriended someone who everyone warned them would be bad for them. People see through my allegories. I'm not mysterious enough. I think mysterious people are supposed to dress in all black all the time but I don't do that either. Also I like yapping too much to be mysterious. 

Being mysterious seems like something a lot of people would aspire to be, but I wonder if anyone has really achieved it. I guess deleting your social media helps or making sure you don't have pictures of yourself online. But how do people seem more mysterious irl? Not yapping much, just lingering? But also, this may be seen as weird or creepy!! We're trying to figure out how to be seen as mysterious, not suspicious. Being mysterious is alluring, not off-putting! 

But how long can you maintain an air of mystery for? Even if you succeed in becoming mysterious, are people going to keep seeing you that way if they get close to you? Is it possible to know someone well for years and still see them as mysterious? 

Perhaps being mysterious is not really a goal worth pursuing, but that's been a hard pill to swallow for me. I've wanted to achieve it for so long, but I need to accept that I am bad at it. And maybe that's a good thing. It's one of those things where you would have to larp really hard to be it, and it won't reflect your true self. So it will get exhausting to keep up the larp after some time. Mysterious people can't yap, gossip, or be cringe. But they also can't do a lot of things that are actually positive, fun or harmless behaviors. For example: mysterious people can't express affection, can't create art if it looks too whimsical and colourful (serious portrait sketches and stuff like that is okay), can't change up the way they dress, can't use a wide range of facial expressions, can't go wild at a party, etc. It may be better to be passionate, affectionate and free than to be mysterious.

i hate suburbs (rant)

 do u like culture??? well theres none of that here. no museum. no art gallery. the library is clapped and only has like 4 books. do u like nature??? well you'll just have to drive for like 29301 hours to get to a national park. do u like being mentally stable??? well too bad u will just feel your sanity slipping away every single day when u live in a suburb. no culture. no natural beauty. no chance for intellectual or spiritual growth. u can be a basement dweller in ur parents house but then u pay rent with your mental health instead of with actual money. words can not describe how much i hate it here!!!!!!!!! there is one cute cafe here tho. only redeeming quality of this place.

but theres a light at the end of the tunnel because i am actually leaving this place soon. and hopefully forever! Then I'll be able to change the subtitle of this blog from "a chaotic blog by someone from a boring canadian suburb" to "a chaotic blog by someone from a boring canadian suburb WHO SUCCESSFULLY MANAGED TO CLAW THEMSELVES OUT OF THERE LMAO"

it has always been my life goal to leave 

anyway, i've dwelled here for so long that it sort of feels like my life is coming to an end??? my suburban life. Well it'll be like being reborn. I'm basically going to turn into a different person! Stay tuned for the new era!!

That time this blog got mentioned by a kiwi meme expert

This is kinda old news now, but I wanted to acknowledge a very based meme researcher from new zealand who cited one of my blog posts. It's an honour to be cited by him. Check out this awesome conference presentation on the history of memes! At 9:34, he talks about the historical alliteration meme war and cites this post I made: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2015/04/please-read-very-important-historical.html Okay I know I was cringe back then but I was literally 14 years old!!! So don't judge me for being cringe online. Also, I am very glad that post turned out to be historically significant. To this day, it remains the most viewed post on this blog.

"The Layers of Irony Model: How a metameme spread across academia and subcultures". 2024-03-17.

Seong-Young Her, University of Canterbury, New Zealand.

Presented at the University of Bucharest for the 2024 Philosophy of Memes Conference.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x46pRjzzMak&t=591s

Centipede Season 2025 in southern ontario has officially begun! Get out your essential oils now!

 Okay so like sorry that this is one of the topics I am weirdly hyperfixated on but once I start thinking about centipedes, I can't stop. Specifically the North American house centipede. I don't understand why they gotta be like that.

For those of you who don't know, March to September every year is Centipede Season in southern Ontario (the peak times are really July and August though). This is when you might see centipedes in your basement and bathroom as they enjoy damp places. They are nocturnal. And they eat other bugs and sometimes other centipedes (okay I know y'all are going to be like "nah that's cap." Listen, I'm no entomologist, but I'm pretty sure that Leggy Boys eat each other. Just trust me on this. Don't worry about my citations.) You should dispose of a centipede's corpse if you kill one or another one will come to eat it soon. They have a strong sense of smell, so bowls of vinegar or essential oils may scare them off. They run very fast and it is terrifying. They are usually black, sometimes orange. They have too many legs. 

They are basically demons from the deepest pits of hell. However, I kinda feel bad for saying that. Every insect has a role to play in the ecosystem. Deleting one would affect everything else. Perhaps it is concerning that our society has normalized insectophobia so much. Leggy Boys have feelings too. And I know I called them demons but if we're being real, when God sings with his creations a centipede will be part of the choir. But I never claimed to be perfect, morally speaking. And I would rather die than be friends with one of them. I basically hate centipedes as if they killed my firstborn son and I have a duty to avenge him. I know this is irrational, but it doesn't stop me. 

Anyway, centipedes do not actually have a hundred legs. In French they are called les milles-pattes (1000 paws). They are called either khankajoora or chalisapad in Hindi. Chalisapad means forty legs. In Anishinaabemowin/Ojibwe, they are simply called "kaadi-mnidoosh" (leg-bug). Or if you are both an Ojibwe language learner and an insect rights activist, you could use more inclusive language and say kaadi-mnidoons, with a diminutive rather than pejorative ending. My Ojibwe language teacher told me something about the word mnidoons that blew my mind so I made a Reddit post about it in r/Ojibwemodaa which you can read here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Ojibwemodaa/comments/1fkzgbb/manidoonsag_bugs/ Yes, it really does mean "little spirit." 

Okay I have one more Ojibwe-related thing to tell you guys before we start focusing on Leggy Boys again. I made this meme in Ojibwe and it says "when the centipede on the wall starts running fast."

Okay back to talking about Leggy Boys. Where was I? Oh yes, about their number of legs. It's not 100. How many are there then? Well idk, count them yourself!! Because I'm definitely not doing it. 

The main thing about centipedes that bothers me however is the fact that they are in my house. I saw a Leggy Boy yesterday with my own eyes and he was huge. He was in my hallway. I don't understand why a creature like that needs to be in my house. Bro looks like he's native to the Amazon rainforest, but he's literally in a Canadian suburb. Why??!?!?!? He should be hanging out with those spiders that get big enough to eat birds, not with me. He would have more in common with them. 

I simply could not have imagined that such a being could exist until I saw one myself. 

Do you guys think I should just get over myself and make peace with the Leggy Boys? Idk, let me know your thoughts. 

The horseshoe theory of the simp and nonchalanter

 Okay I know the title of this post makes me sound completely bonkers, but hear me out. You know how some people who are politically centrist talk about the horseshoe theory? Basically, according to some centrists, far left and far right extremism are indistinguishable because of how they are both totalitarian. Now despite what many people believe about me, I am not a political person. They just think caring about the environment and Indigenous rights makes me "woke" and left wing when that makes no sense. Like lmao sorry that I don't want to pay the elites to breathe air. But sure it's "woke" to realize that human existence depends on the earth. 

Anyway, this post is not about politics at all. I just wanted to use the term "horseshoe theory" to analyze the modern dating scene, particularly two types of people who I will refer to Simps and Nonchalanters. I am sure these terms are self-explanatory. People who study psychology might use terms from Attachment Theory to understand these people, like anxious attachment and dismissive avoidant or whatever. But as a very wise and enlightened person, I think Attachment Theory is fake and dumb. Also I think psychology is not a real science and that therapists are untrustworthy. Imagine thinking aNxiOus aTtachMent or whatever has any more credibility than astrology. Also, women are always over-labelled with anxious attachment because of sexism. Oh you expect your partner to communicate regularly and clearly with you? you must have anxious attachment I guess!!! At least astrology is cool and aesthetic and so I can tolerate it even though I do not believe it is real. 

So I believe that if you Simp hard enough, it horseshoes into being a Nonchalanter. We view Simps and Nonchalanters as the opposite of each other. But how different are they, really? You see, Simps are prone to love-bombing. Here is what dating looks like for a Simp:

1. They meet a person

2. The person does the bare minimum for them

3. The Simp starts to lose sleep and their dignity as they do everything in their power to try to win over the person and be seen as worthy in their eyes

4. The person thinks the Simp is moving too fast. Has the Simp even really tried to understand them? Why does the Simp want commitment after only knowing them for like a month? The Person might have started liking the Simp if the Simp would just be themselves instead of having 0 personality other than trying to appeal to the object of their desires. 

5. The Simp pushes everyone away by being like this and concludes that they would be better off alone. They become doompilled, and then they turn into their most hated enemy: The Nonchalanter. 

Now, you simps need to understand that the person I have described as the object of your desires is NOT a Nonchalanter. They are just a regular person. They know how to feel love, but it builds up slowly over time for them and only for someone who reciprocates and would be a healthy longterm partner for them. They might yearn sometimes, but in a dainty and sophisticated way. You yearn like a wolverine. 

You are not unworthy. You're underestimating how much your natural looks, intelligence and personality appeal to people. You think they will only like you if you worship the ground they walk on but that is not true. That will actually have the opposite result. But do not take this to the extreme and think that you have to become a Nonchalanter. 

Life is about finding a healthy balance!!!! And you will need to unlearn black and white thinking. 

Here is what dating looks like for a Nonchalanter:

1. They avoid human contact to begin with because they are so scared of being hurt, rejected or abandoned by people. Or they may be very ambitious and hard on themselves to achieve a certain goal, and believe other people will get in the way of their success. 

2. No man is an island, and eventually a Nonchalanter will start chalanting a little when they have a social interaction one time in like a year. 

3. The person they chalanted for softly "rejects" them. They could literally just have been too busy. Or going through something. Or interested in someone else. It's not about YOU. Even the hottest rizziest person you know has like a 75% chance of being rejected because timing/chance/luck just isn't on the side of a lot of people. 

OR

The person actually likes them back and then the Nonchalanter gets scared and ghosts because it was such an unexpected outcome for them. 

4. Either way, the Nonchalanter concludes that Society is Evil 

Nonchalanters and Simps both crave connection, yet push people away. They are more similar to each other than they are to normal people. They are two sides of the same coin!

Anyway, my advice for you to start chalanting without simping, if that is at all possible. However, you should also be patient with yourself. I realized that this post sounds very harsh and critical. Realistically, you won't break out of the vicious Simp-Nonchalanter cycle in one day. It takes years of self-awareness and self-improvement. And try to respect and love yourself the whole way!!

Also, I think short periods of being a Nonchalanter can actually be pretty beneficial. But I warn against making it your whole lifestyle or identity! Same with being a Simp. This is why I'm a huge advocate for No Simp September. That's when you spend a whole month being a Nonchalanter on your sigma grindset to avoid other people's interference in your goals. But it only lasts one month, that's important. 

I did want to give y'all some unrelated life updates before I conclude this post. But they're all Ojibwe-related lmaoo. Indani-gikendaan ji-anishinaabemoyaan (I'm learning the Ojibwe language). I recently acquired a book of Ojibwe legends, a book about the war of 1812 and an Oji-Cree syllabic bible. Updates to follow once I do some studymaxxing with these materials. 

Edgy anti-school poem I found when I was going through the poetry I wrote in high school

So I was looking back on the poetry I wrote in high school (as someone who cringes even at things I wrote only a month ago, this was like self-inflicted psychological torture). However, I was trying to find out about what my thoughts and feelings were like back then due to some personal reasons that I will not mention here. It's like when I re-read my old diaries for "historical information" about a past situation I dealt with, so that I can learn something from it to apply to a similar situation in the present. I do historical research on myself... on my own lore... which is crazy. 

Anyway, one the most based things I found was this poem I wrote when I was in grade 12. It was about how much I hated school. It was just called "school." I'm posting this in case based school abolitionists may take some inspiration from it. 

Every day, in this stifling room I must sit,

wasting away, yet knowing my life depends on it,

the room is a prison, and the air baneful,

my knowledge of the subject at hand, abysmal,

it passes over me,

and in my sleep-deprived state,

I make countless mistakes on a test on which my future is staked

and even when the bell pierces through the numbness of my mind

I am not free,

for then I must return to my dreary home to show them the number they anxiously await,

the number, my score,

because all I ever will be is a number, nothing more

I'll read deep into the night until the words are seared into my soul,

until my eyes are bloodshot and the words no longer register in my brain,

and every day I'll wake up to do it all again

I wanna give the seventeen year-old version of myself a hug cause she was going through a rough time lmao. This was literally so edgy, but so real. You can leave a comment on the original on DeviantArt if you wish. I posted this poem back in 2018: https://www.deviantart.com/aztecatl13/art/School-767309965 

By the way fam, my fren (lets be honest he's more of a Special Fren if u know what I mean ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)) recently sent me an anti-school manifesto that he found that was incredibly based. My other fren also thought this article was based. I do not know who wrote it, however it was very interesting. And I think I might post my own anti-school manifesto on this blog soon. But I don't know if I will take a softer approach (school reform rather than school abolition). The person who wrote the article was very in favour of school abolition though. He thinks reformists are cowards who just wish their favourite subject was taught in a better way. 

I think this person could benefit from some reading on the history of British patterned education systems or the colonial imposition of foreign school systems in other countries. They would only find massive amounts of historical evidence to support their claims. Furthermore, a study of school-free historical and cultural societies could help with developing a modern school-free society. 

Stay tuned for Snekcoatl's anti-school manifesto!! 

experimental poem (kinda cringe)

Okay, so I would say I was partly inspired to write this by Sir Philip Sidney's "Astrophil and Stella," but that really overhypes this and will make you have very high expectations for it. However, this is meant to be a poem about someone getting absolutely devastated by love. And it can either be read as 13 short poems or one long poem. This is an experimental form. Also, an intercultural romance theme is explored here. A possible title for this piece could be "rey de mi corazon." Enjoy!

rey de mi corazón (experimental)

i. 

I was not a pretty sight to look at when

the tears wouldn’t stop falling and

I cursed my fate every day,

hair thinning, heart breaking, starving myself,

As once again, someone I who I thought I would have forever, left,

But you loved me even when I felt hopeless,

I didn’t know it then, 

Back when I owned no elegant dresses,

My neck and hands were never bejeweled,

No one heaped praises upon me as they do now on

my onyx eyes and the way my hair glistens

or the verses I write and the things my hands create,

But you wanted me when 

there was nothing worthy of your gaze

Or your listening,

My grief was so great

that it silenced me,

And knocked the paintbrush out of my hands

The dreams out of my mind

ii.

You see me smile more now,

But I’m still empty,

You think I have depth but,

I’m only like an endless chasm

to be filled with your voice, your love,

I’ve always been hollow 

but the promise of your touch

could heal the wound of my heart

that you saw agape yet never flinched from 

iii. 

You came upon me so suddenly,

If things had been just a little different,

With the Fates trying a new pattern in their knitting,

We would never have met,

It was like you wandered into the woods without a map,

And found me as I wept by a stream,

So the sound of it trickling down the rocks could conceal 

the sound of my sniffling,

I hoped my tears would merge with the rain,

But instead of fleeing from this dark being of woe,

You embraced me

Under the cloud that thundered above my head

iv. 

Now, rey de mi corazón, come rest your head upon my lap,

As I stroke your hair and tell you the tale of a warrior and maiden,

Who you say could have been just like us,

She

Could not pass through the village

Without wishing to escape the gaze of

Men who were more like cockroaches

In the taverns,

Who beheld her 

Reddened lips

Her black hair shining 

From being washed with fermented rice milk,

Under her porcelain mask

There once was a face

Less perfect

But less bitter,

And she thought remaining invisible

Would have been preferable to this

And he? 

What of the warrior, you ask, no, you beg,

Well, he could hardly move under the weight of his armour,

Or was it his sorrow?

Sometimes he thought it would have been better 

To have been ridiculed as a weakling

Than to have turned into this thing

That causes vain, silly girls to giggle at his approach,

Mesmerized by the glint of his sword,

Expecting to hear tales of his feats,

But they’re disappointed 

When it turns out

He never sharpened his storytelling skills,

And there’s no way for him to tell them that

He feels as though he sold his own soul,

They both would have wept at the perfect line of verse, would have painted landscapes and arranged flowers, would have read the chronicles of the empire not to celebrate the conquests but to lament what was lost,

They,

Happened to pass by the same pond one day,

Though most days are the same for them,

And there is hardly a relief from

Their loneliness

That being surrounded by admirers never cured,

But the lotuses looked lovely,

The heron’s feathers demanded careful thought,

About what colour to use for them in a painting,

There warrior and maiden glimpsed each other,

For the very first time,

Annoyed that the other had interrupted their solitude, 

They continued on their way

When you begin to protest this ending,

It will be the perfect time to kiss you, 

Satisfied that I’ve moved someone who pretends to be flint-hearted,

I’ll hold you and be amazed

That someone who trains to kill by day

Could have such lovely, youthful innocence on his face at night,

Wrapped in beauty like a delicate flower,

Who Venus herself would have lost her wits over

When you hug me back even tighter, I’ll know

Cupid’s arrows pierced through the armor of a son of Mars

v. 

The Christian scholar honours

The philosophy of Greek pagans

As the Sufi mystic

Considers the writings of brahmins worthwhile

There is more respect between

Different civilizations

Than king and queen of the same domain

More understanding between those

Who speak different tongues

Than the sun and moon

Could ever have for each other 

vi. 

Why don’t you have a seat in the kitchen, meri jaan?

As I knead the dough for the chapatis,

I’ll spellbind you with

Tales I’ve heard of the bloodthirsty gods of your ancestors

and the blue-skinned ones of mine,

Would you forgive me for idolatry, mi amor?

You must know I’m just as moved as you are by

That most praiseworthy woman,

the virgin whose womb brought forth

the one who created the stars,

But I would still burn in a fire for you,

I would still be a sacrifice unto you 

vii. 

I don’t want the sun and moon,

You bring no flowers,

Write no sonnets,

Strum no guitars,

But your love’s more steadfast than

Any artist who may try to deceive me,

I could never be ensnared by their glittering lies

As they drain the life out of memorized verse

Your love’s not birdlike but quiet,

It needs no declarations,

Yet to them, love’s a grand word,

Their favourite trope,

From stories they’ve read of Tristan and Iseult,

Pressing rosebuds between the pages,

It’s true they do not lack knowledge of the Middle Ages,

But they’ll never have an ounce of your courage

Until they understand this,

They’ll always appear silly 

When they attempt to embody chivalry

Your love’s like fossilized shells 

or dragonflies in amber,

Not like the delicate petals

That will wilt someday

Your warmth endures

While their promises wash away

viii. 

How many times have I dreamed of running away?

Assimilating into a foreign culture, forgetting the past, bathing in Lethe or perhaps

Slithering away in the form of a snake, I’ve always wished I could just shed this skin,

submerging myself as an alligator in a swamp,

Nevermind, you make me forget my own name

And I could always disappear into you 

I want you with an appetite that scares me

How have you made me unleash 

A feral, primeval, reptilian longing

That this thing we call civilization 

Can never contain?

ix. 

God has blessed your country with the southwestern desert, the most mesmerizing place on earth,

I do not understand how someone can look at it and say

We need to test nuclear bombs here and we need

The hideousness of paramilitary forces

To desecrate Nature’s harmony

Can the lone saguaro cactus against the sun

With its lifespan of two centuries

Ever forget these crimes?

See how everything in nature is interconnected.

I thought I beheld a Vishnu temple,

Look how Nature carved an Oriental pagoda herself on a rocky elevation!

This land is just as romantic as the East

And in your bloodline there is

Fasting shaman chewing peyote, austere friar carrying books, jaguar warrior wearing a plumed helmet, intrepid conquistador with a lust for gold,

No, I was not born here but

Descriptions of Paradise had reached my ears,

And I no longer doubt they were real

x. 

I want your love to be like one of those hardy perennials, 

so be careful about which plant you get for me

The golden barrel cactus may be the best,

I want a cactus, not flowers

Were you to get me one I would

Protect it as fiercely as if it were

My firstborn son, Cedric IV

But I know that it would need me even less than you would

I remember buying a cactus once

From a Home Depot somewhere in a dreary Canadian suburb

And I could not believe my eyes when

A tiny lizard emerged from the soil of that pot

Where was she taken from?

She ran off outside somewhere,

The only one of her kind in this land,

Perhaps she was crushed to death, 

perhaps she shriveled up

In the cold with a broken heart,

I could hardly comprehend

The awfulness of her fate

xi.

I gather flowers for him 

though he does not seem to appreciate their beauty

or know of their meaning

The poinsettia, the Adonis flower,

The Pendant Amaranth, which he does not know

Was once called “my-love-lieth-a-bleeding”

for it looks like the blood bursting out of

a sacrificial heart

like what gushes out of 

a cacao pod when it’s crushed

But how can I not bring him these things

While I’m here on earth?

As long as I live 

I’ll replace the flowers every time they wilt,

I’d toil in a garden for my love if only

I could be rewarded by glimpses of him 

xii.

Ever since I’ve lived here, I’ve always had to hear Canadians bemoan and bewail

The lack of a proper springtime in our country, the fact that there is no season of love

No rebirth and renewal, only the grey slush from the melting snowbanks 

a return to the general dreariness of suburban life, nothing to celebrate

surviving the harsh winter that tested the faith of black-robed missionaries 

Weakened by starvation and scurvy as they feared dying unloved in this hostile land

Yes, Pan the satyr would never see reason to dance here as he did in Arcadia,

Your heart’s like the barren trees here so you’d fit right in while mine’s like

 the desert sunrises that you don’t realize you’ve been so lucky to have been bedazzled by 

The ones that are the same colours as the petals of blanket flowers, I’m sure you remember

Seeing them many times, so how is it that I, winter-hardened as I am, can be more like

The refreshing cactus fruit, the flute song over windswept sand, than you are?

xiii.

Sometimes when your strong arms encircle me,

I still feel lonely,

Like that time when my friends turned away

From me, a being of flesh and blood and soul,

To admire an artist’s portrait of a woman

Cold and flat and drawn on a wall

Your hands are on me but your mind is elsewhere

And if you’ve never felt a desire to protect me, it’s because

You were always meant to invade my heart 

What an ill-equipped fortress it was!

This birb is literally me

 This is the bleeding heart dove. it lives in the Philippines. its literally me ;w;

I do not have much to tell u guys about this birb other than I find it relatable. That is all. bye. 

Is the grinch a liberal or a conservative?

Okay guys don't cook me for being late with this post. I know that the holiday season has passed and that would have been a better time for grinchposting. But I can't stop thinking about him (the grinch). He literally lives rent-free in my head, and I think it is time to talk about him. 

(Here is my artistic rendition of a girl with the grinch and a wooly mammoth in the background!!!!!!!!!!!)

So as y'all probably know, the grinch is a dr. seuss character. He's in the movie "how the grinch stole christmas." Also, in winter 2024-2025, it is now more important than ever to talk about him. This is because he is very trendy right now, and there are complex socioeconomic reasons for this! 

You see, the grinch movie and grinch toys/grinch merch are usually marketed towards very young children. But now this is changing. Grinch merch is now very popular among teenagers and young adults. As a person in my early twenties, I understand the reasons for this. The holiday season is no longer cheerful for people. It was once a time when people would spend time together with their families. However, we are now facing a loneliness epidemic. Some people call this the "male loneliness epidemic." But this is inaccurate because it does not exclusively affect men. All genders and age groups are affected by it. 

People now have fewer friends on average than previous generations did as well as less contact with their family. People are now on their sigma grindset 24/7 in order to succeed in their education or career. Or sometimes it is even just to make ends meet with a min wage job. All this grinding leaves them with no time to spend on building meaningful relationships with people, which is important for stress reduction and other mental health reasons. Having fulfilling relationships extends your lifespan!! 

If you have no friends, it's like smoking 192 cigarettes a day. I made up that number, but you get the idea.

Yes, it is true that some people need less socialization than others and enjoy their solitude. But there are others who crave connection and are unable to find it in the modern age. All this brings me to Mr. Grinch. No matter how hard he copes, we can all tell that he craves human connection. The reason why he can't connect to people is because the Whos were very cruel to him during his childhood. They bullied and ostracized him. Now he has a fear of vulnerability and of connecting to others.

You may also be wondering about the grinch's political views. I will get to that in a second. First, have some knee surgery memes. 

Okay, so I was discussing this issue with a fren who is very smart and has studied politics. I asked him if he thinks the grinch is a liberal or a conservative. He said he thinks the grinch is a conservative. His justification was that the grinch is a misanthrope, and borderline an INCEL. Or, if you are following my attempts to learn the Ojibwe language, he is like gwiingwa'aage (the wolverine) in that one story retold by Basil Johnston where he is ungrateful for the gifts that Gichi-Manitou (the Creator) has bestowed upon him so he gets cursed to wander the earth alone and be shunned by other creatures. You can read more about the Wolverine Mindset in this post I wrote: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2024/12/wolverines-are-most-relatable-animal.html

However, even tho i respect my fren and i think he is a big-brained individual, I disagree that The Grinch is a conservative. I think my fren is being biased because he's a lib. He is doing a very surface-level reading of the Grinch and he is not being generous to this character. Furthermore, the Grinch is NOT an incel!!! If you've actually seen the movie, a beautiful woman has a huge crush on him for basically her entire life. 

I think it would be more accurate to say that the Grinch is scared of people, not that he hates them. He's scared because he was bullied by them as a child. Furthermore, he goes against tradition. He literally tries to steal Christmas. So how can he be a conservative if he defies tradition? And his reasons for opposing the tradition is not just to spite the Whos. It's because he believes Christmas is unethical and excludes people. It excluded him. Also, he thinks Christmas is bad for the environment. If you recall, all the presents that the Whos get end up as garbage. They are disposed eventually, because the Whos are a consumerist society and they don't care about how this affects the environment. All the trash is collected by the grinch and reused/recycled. Most conservatives do not even think climate change is real or that is possible to harm the environment. So how can the grinch be a conservative???

Also, he's not a sadistic character. He has empathy. Sure, he kind of needs his dog to remind him to be nice to people. But he doesnt ignore his dog. And he saved a little girl's life!!

I personally blame the Grinch's society more than the Grinch for his conditions. Also, he turns out to be a good guy in the end and he is forgiven. 

This is all I have to say on this for now. This says a lot about society. What do you think?

Also, shoutout to the fren who gave me a grinch-themed box of skincare products for christmas. This proves my point about grinch stuff now being marketed to young adults instead of children because young adults find him more relatable now than they used to because of cultural and economic reasons.

I'm literally a casual fan of Nahuatl not an avid learner but inshallah I'll learn it once I improve my Ojibwe, Hindi, and French

 i am a casual fan rather than an avid learner of Nahuatl, however I find some of the random words i know very beautiful like "xochimiqui" or flowery death (xochitl=flower and miquiztli=death) for a human sacrifice. also when i am sad, or stressed, or angry, or generally doompilled i like to calm myself down by reading this verse by Nezahualcoyotl.

Annochipa tlalticpac. Zan achica ye nican. Ohuaye ohuaye. Tel ca chalchihuitl no xamani, no teocuitlatl in tlapani, no quetzalli poztequi. Yahui ohuaye. Anochipa tlalticpac zan achica ye nican. Ohuaya ohuaya.

Not forever on earth, only a brief time here! Even jades fracture; even gold ruptures, even quetzal plumes tear: Not forever on earth: only a brief time here! Ohuaya, ohuaya.

(the word for gold is "teocuitlatl" which means "excrement of the gods." teotl means "sacred" or "deity" and cuitlatl means "excrement.") I'll be able to understand these beautiful Nahuatl compound words one day and appreciate this kind of stuff without English translations.

Wolverines are the most relatable animal!

I'm going through a Wolverine Phase right now. Basically, I just think wolverines are super relatable. They are insatiable and they are always looking for food because of their fast metabolism they’re always hungry. And their genus and species are both “gulo” because it means glutton in Latin. People with BPD have chronic feelings of emptiness and are prone to binge eating and substance abuse so that’s why it’s a relatable creature. I have long suspected that I have BPD.

Also, I read a story about the wolverine in the book "Ojibway Heritage" by Basil Johnston. Basically, the wolverine was not happy with the attributes that Gichi-Manitou (the Creator) had given him. He wanted the gifts of other animals. He envied their speed, strength, size, etc. Gichi-Manitou punished him for his ingratitude. This is why the wolverine is a solitary animal now. No other animal wants to be around it. The Creator cursed the wolverine with loneliness. I really like Basil Johnston's retellings of Ojibwe stories. I have read his other books "The Manitous" and "Moose Meat and Wild Rice" as well. I am going to read the book "Ojibway Ceremonies" soon, which my Discord e-boy bought for me. Basil Johnston also writes in Anishinaabemowin (the Ojibwe language), which I am trying to learn. Once I "get good," I should be able to read his Ojibwe language books too. 

By the way, the word for wolverine is gwiingwa'aage in Ojibwe. I really want to know what this word means (in most Ojibwe words you can break them down into morphemes to find out what a word really means). For example, one of my teachers mentioned that the morphemes that make up "ajidamoo," the word for "squirrel," can be found in the words "ajidagoojin" (animate intransitive verb) which means "he or she hangs upside down" and in "amo" (transitive animate verb) which is "he or she eats an animate being" so ajidamoo may refer to one who eats while hanging upside down. Can gwiingwa'aage be broken down into something? I will probably ask one of my teachers. Stay tuned to find out what they say. 

I hope that poets of all languages will make use of the wolverine more as a symbol of being bonkers and unhinged, as it has great potential as a symbol. 

That's all for now. Thanks for reading.