what does "gikinawaabiwin" mean?

Hello frens. The title of this post includes the word "gikinawaabiwin," which means "learning by seeing" (as a noun) in Ojibwe. This is the title I came up with for a poem I wrote recently. I won't share the whole poem, only the first few stanzas here. If you guys remember my post on knowledge acquisition, it's basically a poetic version of the themes I discussed in it. Here is the post I'm referring to: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2024/09/when-you-want-to-acquire-more-knowledge.html

Here are the first three stanzas of my poem :) and honestly, since the rest of the stanzas suck I think I'm just going to leave it at this and say this is the final version:

I met disciples in an ashram on the edge of the jungle 

who said they sought moksha and spent their days 

fasting, praying, meditating, 

But in twenty-five years of abnegation 

they still had not received a vision, 

Their souls had not been liberated 

and they seemed to live in fear of the world. 

I met black-robed scholars who thought that Knowledge 

was something one could conquer, 

It was what they sought to master, 

They thought Nature’s secrets could be wrested from her 

that Wisdom would visit them during their candle-lit study in their stone towers, 

But She never came 

And they did not feel the Sun’s warmth in a year. 

In Mikinaakominis, Knowledge surrounded me 

in a land where the branches of evergreen trees 

looked like peacock feathers to me when I first beheld them, 

In Anishinaabewaki, the land is a teacher 

if one is willing to learn by seeing.

--

I am quite happy with this, especially with the second stanza which I consider to be a banger. 

When you want to acquire more knowledge

This is really random but I find it interesting how attitudes toward knowledge acquisition vary across cultures. You have scientists from Renaissance Europe saying things like "poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master" (Leonardo da Vinci) and "science had to torture nature's secrets out of her" (Francis Bacon). The first one sounds pretty based and epic and motivated me throughout my masters degree if I'm going to be honest. The second one sounds very extractive, like it is making the earth submit to your will and curiosity. 

"Poor is the pupil who does not surpass his master" is very different from something that my mom would always quote to me in Hindi. This was गुरु गोविन्द दोऊ खड़े काको लागूं पायं। बलिहारी गुरु आपने जिन गोविन्द दियो बताय | The speaker of this line is wondering if he should touch the feet of Govind first (a name of the god Krishna) or his guru's (his teacher). Touching someone's feet is a sign of respect in Indian culture. He touches his teacher's feet because he was the one who told him about the god. The teacher is above the god here.

Also I have been reading about Anishinaabe culture and they believe learning can not happen without humility. There is no such thing as an "expert" on anything because we all have so much to learn, and this rejects the European concept that we can have mastery over something. We also can not learn without experiencing the world, interacting with nature and maintaining our holistic well-being. This is different from the European idea of a scholar who stays inside and reads all day and never touches grass. Native people touch more grass than Europeans do. There is also a retelling of a traditional story by Leanne Betasamosake Simpson where she says that the Anishinaabe learned about maple syrup (ninaatigo-ziiwaamigide in Anishinaabemowin I think, idk I am still learning it and I will never master it) from a child and that child learned it from observing a chipmunk. It really shows humility if you believe you can learn something from a child and from nature!! 

Anyway I think someone smarter than me should write about pedagogical approaches in different cultures. Also, the British patterned education is probably terrible for learning outcomes and the well-being of students. 

Platonic love is wild

It’s wild how pure and wholesome platonic love is while also having a chaotic and passionate side to it. Like the way you admire your friend is so innocent but the ties of loyalty make you fierce when it comes to defending them. Also, we tend to view our friends as beautiful. They are much more beautiful to us than anyone we have had romantic interest in, but not in a way that makes us physically attracted to them. It just makes us admire them and want to protect them. Also the best part about platonic love is that it doesn’t hurt, it feels secure. Sure there is a chance you may lose the friendship, but you don’t dread losing the friendship every day. You just enjoy it in the present instead of worrying about the future. It doesn’t make you live in fear. Also if the friendship does come to an end, it’s a bit easier to move on than a heartbreak. At least if the reasons were communicated clearly. Also unlike romantic love where the best part about the other person are the thoughts and fantasies you have about them, the best part about platonic love is when you actually spend time with them right in front of you, not in your mind! Also I feel like all love causes pain, not because all love is toxic and unhealthy but because the intensity of the feeling causes pain (like something intensely pleasurable also feels kinda painful just cause of how intense it is you know. Like reading a beautiful poem or seeing a painting so gorgeous it brings you to tears). But with platonic love, the intense painful/pleasurable moments occur when you’re actually with them and they do something cute or wholesome for you or they say something cool and based. Or when you feel a surge of protective feelings for them. With romantic love, the pain is more constant and you just can’t shake it off so it becomes a permanent state of suffering. Well at least this is all true for me, idk about y’all. 

How low self-esteem affects social interactions

 This is how it works. You have low self-esteem, so you think that means you're inherently unworthy. You think you are inferior to whoever you are trying to be friends with, so you try to make up for it by acting extremely devoted and self-sacrificing for them. You idolize them and don't realize that this prevents a genuine connection from forming. When the person starts pulling away, you think it's because you're not cool or smart enough (even though the person probably did think you were cool to begin with, that's why they were hanging out with you). You may not realize the issue was with how you were making them uncomfortable by expressing affection in an inappropriate way. 

Some ways to fix this issue in your social life are the following (I suggest combining all 3 methods):

1. Tone down extreme displays of affection

2. Find people who have a higher tolerance level for extreme displays of affection and befriend them instead of people who find them off-putting

3. Work on your self-esteem so you don't feel the need to act so devoted to others without their reciprocity 

This advice can apply to both love and friendship. When it comes to love, you should also try to remember that love isn't just an experience you have in your mind alone. It needs to involve two people who are willing to build a relationship together. If you tend to spend years in limerence or one-sided love (as many people with low self-esteem do) then you need to remind yourself that real love is possible and it will feel even better. Not to get all NSFW, but limerence is only related to love as much as masturbation is related to sex. Reality is actually better than fantasy, but if you use fantasy to cope with your mental health issues then it can be hard to see that.

Now, you may be thinking "Okay, so now I know why it's important to work on my self-esteem. But how do I do that?" My other post on a simple life hack you can use to try developing self-esteem may help you. Here's the link to it if you want to check it out: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2024/08/life-hack-for-developing-self-esteem.html

I hope this helps!!

Life Hack for Developing Self-Esteem

One of the reasons why it's important to develop healthy self-esteem is because it helps you connect better with other people. Basically, you won't see others as being better than you. So you'll learn to express your affection for them in a way that doesn't seem like you're worshipping them (this would also be annoying or uncomfortable for a lot of people!) You will be able to call them out when they make mistakes as well. 

A lot of people may lose interest in being friends with you if you express affection in a way that feels stifling to them. This doesn't mean that they don't think you're cool or interesting, but they may feel overwhelmed by you. You need to remember you're inherently worthy. Your worth isn't based on your productivity, "coolness," etc. If you are simply existing without harming anyone, you deserve a certain level of respect and consideration. You certainly do not need to act self-sacrificing for anyone in order to get them to like you. 

So now that we've been over why it's important to have a healthy self-esteem, here's my life hack for how you do it:

You need to change your internal narrative to be less negative by talking to yourself the way you would to a close friend. A close friend who you have a healthy, stable, mutually beneficial relationship with. Or alternatively, talk to yourself the way they talk to you and try to internalize their voice. The negative voice you have in your head right now possibly reflects the voice of people who bullied, abused, neglected you or hurt you in some other way.

Some things that my close frens do for me:

-Shower me with love and affection even when I have not done anything for them that directly benefits them 

-Call out harmful behaviors and actions in a way that criticizes the action itself, not me as a person. They don't judge to the conclusion that I'm a horrible person!!

-Encourage me to stay motivated and focused 

-Celebrate small and big wins

So I can internalize these things by talking nicely to myself in my head but also calling myself out and being real with myself when I'm doing something sus.

This will overall lead to a more positive and less doompilled narrative.

This hack is very effective. However the limitation is that you do need to have friends in order for this to work. Good friends who you feel connected to. Because self-love doesn't occur in a vacuum and you kind of do need to know what it's like to be treated well by friends who love you so that you can treat yourself that way. I don't know how you'd be able to do it the other way around, so it's important not to shut yourself out from making friends.

However, if you are having trouble making friends to begin with, I will probably write another post on that soon. It can be tricky because you need to learn when a friendship isn't working and you might need to cut that person off, but also when you might be catastrophizing a fixable issue and you shouldn't sabotage the friendship by ending it without assessing the situation properly. But more on that later. For now, I hope you'll consider what I said about the life hack. 

I started playing Habitica again + Mental health update

 So I made a list of mental health rules to follow for the rest of the summer. I'll reiterate them in this post:

1. No irl venting

2. No ventposting online

3. Go outside at least once a day

4. Go further from home at least once a week

5. No contacting the forbidden person on forbidden days

I'm doing okay with these so far. I did vent a little bit to my parents and regretted it. I'll avoid that from now on. Also I went to the mall with my friend and I didn't really vent to her, but I did tell her about a problem I was having and she said some comforting words that really helped. And she was being really calm and level-headed about it, so she didn't suggest that I needed to take any extreme course of action to make myself feel better about it. So I think what I said to her was not truly venting, so I won't consider that a violation of the rules. If it actually makes both me and the other person feel better after talking about it, it's probably not venting. 

About the no ventposting rule... I've been good with it but I noticed I still interact with other people's ventposts online. It's better not to engage with these. And I really think there should be a sixth "no doomscrolling" rule. But it's easier to remember 5 rules than 6. 

I've mostly been good with going outside. I didn't do that yesterday though. A five minute walk outside counts, but I didn't do that. 

The mall trip with my friend counted as #4. However, in the original post about the rules, which you can read here: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2024/06/mental-health-tips-i-will-follow-for.html I said that these trips that are a further distance away from home must be done alone. Before going to the mall that day, I did go to the library and get a bunch of relevant books for my research though. And I looked through them while waiting for my friend. So I think I spent a sufficient amount of time away from home while being alone.

And then we come to Rule 5. I thought this one would be the hardest, but it has actually been really easy so far. The Forbidden Person is forbidden only on weekends. I can still yap to them on other days. And I have known this person long enough to understand their texting style, so their texting does not feel unpredictable or cause me anxiety on other days. 

Anyway, to help me out with following these rules I've started playing Habitica again. I recommend the app on your phone but right now I'm just using the desktop site habitica.com and it's great. Basically, you tell the app what healthy habits you are trying to cultivate and what you are trying to stop. You can also add a to-do list and "dailies" (these are tasks you have to do every day, like going outside at least once for me. Or doing my Duolingo Spanish lesson). You will be rewarded by in-game currency which you can spend on fancy accessories for your character and also on creatures. You can feed the creatures and they can grow into mounts for your character to ride on. It's pretty based. I would recommend it.

I literally used to use Habitica in high school to motivate me to do my homework and now I have returned to it as someone who lowkey has a masters degree but still doesn't have their life together lmao. 

Anyway, I'll keep you updated on how this goes for me.

Mental health tips I will follow for the rest of the summer

1. No venting to people I know

2. No ventposts on social media 

3. Go outside at least once a day (alone)

4. Go somewhere further away from home once a week. Like about a one hour driving distance. (Make sure you are alone)

5. If you are overly attached to someone, pick two days of the week where you are not allowed to contact them. 

I went to Tulsa, Oklahoma for like 4 days lol

 What's up fam? Yer girl is back from an academic conference at the University of Tulsa. Even though I didn't get to stay in Oklahoma for long, I really enjoyed my time there. People in Tulsa have a community spirit that I haven't seen before. They love talking to random people who they don't know, and they're really passionate about arts and culture. In contrast, Canadians are as cold as their weather. Also, there are beautiful flowers everywhere in Oklahoma and they smell really nice. My favourite is the blanketflower. It's gorgeous. There are a lot of flowers in a park called the Gathering Place, which also koi ponds. And you can see the Arkansas River over there. I saw Black wallstreet and the Philbrook museum (it has nice Native American art). I also went hiking at Turkey Mountain. There are some cool Native-owned art stores where I bought beaded earrings and a bison plushie. Also, Oklahoma has really good Mexican restaurants. Way better than the ones in Canada. I also went to a historical reenactment festival called Chatauquah. Also I was reading "Killers of the Flower Moon" on the plane, which is about the Osage murders. But there was also a part that talked about the Land Rush of 1889. And when I got to Tulsa I saw a monument depicting it. And now I know what a "sooner" is. Bonkers stuff. My Canadian friend was like "have fun in God's country." Bro I was in the Wild West. But it was amazing. Anyway, my life updates are that I have decided I am going to read more about African American history (probably starting with that book on the Tulsa race massacre that got banned in Oklahoma public schools). And I have decided that French is stupid and I am going to learn Spanish instead. 

Sentinelese headcanons

If I am not mistaken, no one knows what the Sentinelese people call themselves. And I don't think anyone should try to find out. They don't want anyone on their island.

Though I am a scholar, I don't think everything needs to be studied. It's good for some people to keep their secrets.

However I do have a headcanon about the Sentinelese.

It's that whatever name they call themselves in whatever language they speak probably simply translates to "the people."

I don't want anyone to try proving or disproving this. They're not uncontacted, they're voluntarily isolated. Goodnight. 

Yer girl has thoughts on "Utopia" by Thomas More

Hey fam. Recently, I wrote a paper where I compared agricultural policies in 19th century India and Canada (sounds boring as hell to most people, I know) but hear me out. The plains tribes were considered lazy and incapable of farming by Europeans. They were thought to be completely uninterested in agriculture. And it is true that they traditionally hunted bison, however, in the 1850s the bison were nearly extinct and they knew they would have to turn to farming to survive. But the Canadian government did not grant them suitable equipment to farm and forced them on reserves, often on land that was not suitable to farm. In 19th century Punjab, many tribes that traditionally herded cattle were deemed criminal tribes by the British (including the sansi and pakhiwara people) and they were forced to take up farming on agricultural settlements but of course there was not actually enough land to sustain the people in these camps. Anyway, it shouldn't be taken for granted that both Punjab and Saskatchewan are "breadbasket" regions now.

So what does this random info have to do with "Utopia" by Thomas More? Utopia was written in the 16th century long before any of that stuff happened. But there are many parts in the book that reflect the belief that land is not being used property if it is not being used for agriculture. Consequently, people who do not farm are considered backwards or savage. 

In the section titled "of their living and mutual conversation together,” the very cool traveller Raphael Hythloday who is big-brained and knows Ancient Greek tells us that each farm/family in Utopia can have a limited number of children. If you have more children than that, a neighouring farm with fewer children may adopt some. There are many cities in utopia, so if all the farms in a city are full, the next city can take them. And when all the cities are full, extremely bonkers stuff happens. I thought this was crazy. They will take over a nearby land and try to assimilate the people under their laws. Now read this: 

"But if the inhabitants of that land will not dwell with them to be ordered by their laws, then they drive them out of their bounds which they have limited and appointed out for themselves, and if they resist and rebel, then they make war against them.” 

They regard it as unjust that someone occupies land that they do not farm while others go hungry because they have no land to till, basically. 

"For they count this the most just cause of war, when any people holdeth a piece of ground void and vacant to no good or profitable use, keeping others from the use and possession it which of notwithstanding by the laws of nature ought thereof to be nourished and relieved.” 

That's bonkers right? Don't you guys think that’s bonkers? This is what some people may use as a moral justification for colonialism if they are thinking a little beyond the idea of "might makes right.” I don't think colonialism can be morally justified and I am very against its but I find it fascinating to study these kinds of arguments.

There is more. In the section called "Of warfare," hythloday gives us some reasons for when he thinks war is justified and based. These include defending yourself, defending your bros and liberating someone from a tyrant. But the utopians also recruit people from a different culture to be soldiers.  They do not think there is anything wrong with this. The people are called the Zapoletes. Here are some descriptions of them: 

• "they be hideous, savage and fierce, dwelling in the wild woods"

• "occupying no husbandry nor tillage of the ground.” 

• "given unto no goodness, but only to the breeding and bringing up of cattle. The most part of their living is by hunting and stealing” 

• “they be born only to war”

• "they maintain their life by seeking their death"

This literally sounds like how the British viewed the tribes of Punjab, down to thinking it was wrong for them to herd cattle instead of farm and thinking they were prone to stealing. 

All the points about utopian society are in the second book of utopia. The first is about problems in England. Hythloday complains about rich noblemen who take up so much land for their sheep that commoners are left with no land to farm. This is of course a theme that is revisited in the second book. 

The last thing I’m going to say even though I took way more notes and have way more stuff to yap about is that I still liked this book. I know I approached it with the aim of understanding ideologies that were used to justify colonialism (by the way, Raphael is fictional but it is said he sailed with Amerigo Vespucci!!!) but I do think it is important for people to read it for philosophical reasons and appreciate the good parts. I would be willing to hear a generous reading, and I also think it would be cool for someone to compare this to Plato’s republic. 

Also, I am going through a phase right now. it is basically an early modern Utopian phase. Cavendish's “the blazing world" or Francis bacon’s new Atlantis is probably next. Or montaigne’s of cannibals. I have read the Tempest already and I have been obsessed with Gonzalo's idea of the commonwealth. Stay tuned  for whatever happens to me as a result of this phase.

I am going to be a film bro at least for one post

 You read that right. After hating on filmbros as a bookgirl for many years, I actually realized that films aren't that bad. In fact, I've seen more films this year than I ever have before. I think. I'm actually not going to make much of a distinction between movies and films right now as I recommend some stuff to y'all lol. 

Also in case anyone is wondering about my all-time favourite, it's definitely The Emperor's New Groove. You can say that's a movie not a film but actually I think it's super deep! And it's also the funniest movie I've ever seen. I mean the protagonist literally turns into a llama. But if you want a more film bro answer, I also like the Hindi film shatranj ki khilari (also known as The Chessplayers in English). That one is sad because it is about how the British take over the kingdom of Awadh. 

Anyway, yer girl's recommendations of course include Killers of the Flower Moon (but everyone is obsessed with that, so I am not very original for being obsessed with it). I watched it in a Discord server where people talk about Indigenous cultures. It was a fun group to watch it in.

The Princess Bride is also one of the greatest movies of all time!! It has adventure, romance, scary stuff (the rat lmao) and a revenge subplot with one of the characters. I love revenge!!~!`!!1!!!!!!

If you like horror (I don't, I hate it) I recommend Barbarian because it's the scariest thing I've ever seen and I didnt sleep for three nights after and my homies know it basically traumatized me. 

I also have some obscure picks that are great:

- The Journals of Knud Rasmussen, about the conversion of the last Inuit shaman. This was produced by Nunavut-based Igloolik Isumaa productions. 

-Touki Bouki, a Senegalese film about rejecting the French colonial mindset!!

-Ikwe. This film is in Ojibway and I kinda want to watch it again now that I know some Ojibway to see if I can understand stuff. It's a historical film about the fur trade and it's quite sad. 

Other random films I have seen this year: Encanto (based), The New World (very historically inaccurate lol), Barbie and the Nutcracker, Paprika, Qaggaq, One Day in the Life of Noah Piugattuk, Kung Fu Panda 4, It's true, it's true, it's true: Artemesia on trial, Student of the Year (a Bollywood movie). 

Shows I have seen this year: Pokemon Concierge, because it was cute and helped me get over the horror of Barbarian

Alright, it's really not often you get to see me being a film bro so this is a rare moment for me. Perhaps if you are a film bro, you will find something enjoyable to watch from here. 

Yer girl is reflecting on life

Alright so basically, I go to a university that is known for having a very depressed student population. Almost all the posts on our subreddit or on our Instagram confession pages are from students saying they are lonely, have no friends, have no rizz, hate their life, want to die, etc. I am now doing my masters, and it appears that most of these posts are from undergrads. I used to be a depressed undergrad at this institution too, so I know what it's like. I am a lot happier in grad school, but I still struggle sometimes.

I don't have the solution to this issue. I just want to explain why this stuff is difficult to address, and why it is really hard to try to give advice to these students. Obviously, this is a major systemic issue. On a societal level, people are more depressed and lonely now and it's not their fault. It's because of economic factors outside of their control. 

Another thing that is worth mentioning is that the advice that is given to these lonely students is straight up contradictory in nature. On the one hand, they are told to join clubs, talk to people in their classes, maybe use dating apps if they want to rizz people up, etc. On the other hand, they are told that they should focus on The Grind, that happiness comes from within, not from your relationships with people and that they should be happy single and they shouldn't even rely on their friends for happiness. To me it seems like "human beings are social creatures and need community to be happy" and "happiness comes from within. learn to be self-reliant" are completely contradictory and irreconcilable pieces of advice. 

And I really don't know which is the correct path if you had to choose one of those. Sometimes hanging out with friends is the best thing ever and I feel like it heals me or makes life seem worth living, but sometimes I also find myself very disappointed with certain people and wonder why I even made the effort to be their friend and how I would have been better off just spending that effort on myself, not others. Sometimes focusing on my hobbies and The Grind and just ignoring everyone makes me feel really happy and satisfied, and I impress myself with how productive I am. Other times it's like "man preparing for this conference is so much work. I wish I could hang out with my homies instead."

I'm still trying to find a balance between socializing and focusing on The Grind that works for me. It's honestly easier said than done. 

One thing I've noticed though is that The Grind's results are a lot more predictable and reliable. If I work hard at learning a new skill, I kind of know that it's going to pay off. Meanwhile, if you invest time in a friendship or romantic relationship with someone, you have to do it knowing you're taking a huge risk. They might betray you, they might ruin your life, or in the best case scenario: they just leave you and it's pretty respectful and civil, but you still end up regretting all the time you wasted on them that you could have spent doing something else. We have a limited amount of time on this earth, and instead of hanging out with this person who ended up not being worth it, you could have been reviewing your Anki flashcards, or making art, or reading a book, or writing a blog post. Whatever it is that you consider being productive or fun. Is it really so wrong then for some people to just try to play it safe? If socializing is like gambling, can we really hate people who don't want to take the risk? You might "win big" by meeting someone great who likes and respects you, but is it really worth the time and effort when you could invest in a more stable stock? Idk.

Mexihkateokwikameh

Mexihkateokwikameh is an album by a Mexican folk music group called Tzotzollin, which does prehispanic music. It is my favourite album of all time. In fact, I have been listening to it for over a decade. I do not think a better album has ever been produced, nor do I think there is a more beautiful culture in the whole world! The title means "sacred songs of the Aztecs." It uses a slightly different Nahuatl spelling system than what I am used to.

Mexica = the name the Aztecs called themselves

Teotl = this word can mean either "god" or "sacred"

Cuicatl= song

I must say that I am not an expert in Nahuatl, the most beautiful language ever. But every word I do know is amazing.

Teocuitlatl = gold. Literally "excrement of the gods"

Xochimiqui = a human sacrifice. Literally "flowery death" from xochitl (flower) and miquiztli (death).

I love it so much! I love these maize-eating people!

Also I usually don't listen to albums. I listen to individual songs. I don't care for artists or albums because I don't think all of their songs are ever good, just some of them. But the exception is Tzotzollin. EVERY SONG BY THEM IS GOOD. And both of their albums are good, but Mexihkateokwikameh is the absolute greatest!!!!!! Mexica tiahui!!!!!!! 

Always ask your friends if they would still be your friend if you were a worm

Yer girl is back even tho I was super busy cause I was on my grindset (I told y'all 2024 was gonna be my Renaissance year).

Anyway this is just going to be some quick life advice for all of you. My life may not be perfect, but one thing that makes it enviable is this: I have the most loyal and based friends in the whole universe. I know they would eat a centipede for me, and I would eat a centipede for them.

Now I will admit I don't have the best social skills (one time I "asked out" a "classmate" and I talked about Aztec human sacrifice methods the entire time I was with him and he never talked to me again). But you don't actually need good social skills to have loyal friends. Someone who truly loves you will not care about your looks, just like someone who truly wants to be your friend will not care about your social skills.

The key is to pick people who value friendship and loyalty, and who believe in consistency. So it's about picking the right people, not larping as a different person. Don't waste time on people who don't match your energy or who think you are clingy or needy or have no life just because you know how to prioritize BOTH the grindset and the social life. Yes I can be available to my friends while still slaying academically and professionally. If you can't it's simply a skill issue.

Also, while it may be a little toxic and manipulative to "test" people's loyalty, it doesn't hurt to ask the simple question of if someone would still be your friend if you were a worm. I asked my friend this and she texted back "lmao of course" within 3 minutes. That's one of my biggest flexes. Top tier friendship right there and guess what? She is a super busy PhD student but she didn't use being busy as an excuse!

Also it's important to remember that you shouldn't cut people off or be rude if they don't match your energy. Simply shift your focus to others. I hope this helps. 

2024 is gonna be my Renaissance year

 In 2024 I'm going to become a Renaissance polymath. I made a bajillion new year's resolutions, but I'm actually going to do them all!!! Just u wait and see. It's going to be the worst year ever for my enemies. I won't bore you guys by posting the entire list, but I'll go over some of the main ones.

Scholarly Goals

I'm going to read 69 books and make sure the majority of them are either canonical works of literature or academic monographs. I'm also going to apply to more PhD programs outside of C*nada, since I don't want to stay here.

Language Learning 

I wanna be as good at Ojibway/Anishinaabemowin as someone who took two semesters of it in university. I want to learn some very basic vocabulary in Nahuatl and Spanish (I attempted to learn both of these languages before so it will mostly be re-learning) and I also want to improve significantly in French and Hindi so I can read books in both languages without having to look up words. When it comes to Urdu, I want to be able to read/write very basic words, and at least learn the script. Learning all the basic vocabulary is probably doable with Anki, which I am finding to be a very effective language-learning tool at least for covering the basics. For the languages I am more advanced in, like French and Hindi, I will benefit more from immersing myself in media in that language rather than using language-learning tools. 

Some based linguist made a helpful Anki deck for Ojibway, but I also made my own deck. Here is a trad sentence that I like: 

I kinda want to learn the syllabic writing system too, even though most people just use the Roman alphabet now. 

Artsy Stuff

I want to learn knitting, crocheting and embroidery. I want to re-learn to play the flute and bansuri. I am also going to begin the preliminary research for a historical novel that I want to write. I also want to learn how to do photorealistic art in coloured pencils. Right now, I'm taking a course that helps with this. Here are some attempts I made so far. I have no doubt that I will improve soon, and then people will say that I have God-given artistic talent. 

Since I also write poetry, I was wondering if I should make coming up with a poetry collection a goal as well. But I'm not sure about this. Maybe just a tiny collection for myself rather than to show other people?

Health

Honestly, this is probably my least favourite category of goals. But it is absolutely necessary because unfortunately I have a body and I am not just some spooky formless entity like I wish to be. So I'm going to get into hiking, learn to cook 10 new healthy dishes, get into yoga, start running regularly, start lifting weights, eat more protein and start learning martial arts. Somehow. Idk. I'll try. I have prediabetes so if I don't fix my health I'm going to d!e. And then I won't be able to accomplish everything else on the list because I will be dead lmao.

Appearance

I also hate this category of goals. But unfortunately, I'm not a formless entity which means people perceive me and I have to present myself in a way that makes people take me seriously and respect me. I hate society, but I have to do this stuff: learn how to do makeup, wear more skirts and dresses so I look more trad and respectable, grow my hair and nails longer, etc. 

Mental Health Stuff 

I know social isolation is not mentally healthy long-term however I'm going to be doing it for one year because I think it can be helpful in the short term. I'll still talk to my family and to the very small list of people who I actually trust. But outside of that, I'm not really going to bother making friends in 2024. and definitely NOT bother with dating because that shit is extremely cringe. If I'm focusing on my goals, there will be very little craving for social interaction. Maybe if my mental health significantly improves, I could work on socialization in 2025. 

Work/Volunteering 

I need to figure out some kind of side hustle other than tutoring or I need to scale up my tutoring. I could probably take on more clients, idk. We'll see. Also, even though it's hard to find a job, it also appears really hard to find volunteer positions. Like bruh no one even wants me to work for them for free lmao. But right now, I'm going through the training process for becoming a writing competition shortlister so it's going to be fun if that goes through and I can judge people's writing contest submissions. I think this will provide enough fulfillment when it comes to volunteering for now. But it's a remote activity, and I would have preferred real-life volunteering. But irl stuff that matches my skillset is hard to find. 

Other random goals

I need to avoid facebook and twitter because they are cringe. I like posting updates about my goals on Instagram though, especially since so many of my goals are artsy. I want to replace watching stupid self-help videos or political videos with just watching educational stuff. I like the YouTube channels Ancient Americas and Aztlan Historian, so I'll just watch those instead of cringe stuff. I also like podcasts like American History Hit and Bangii'eta Anishinaabemodaa (lets speak a little bit of Anishinaabemowin) so those are also examples of wholesome entertainment I can replace my cringe entertainment with in my downtime. 

Also, I think I will learn to code lmao. 

That's all I guess. Wish me luck cause imma need it. 

Happy New Year fam!!! You guys should make lots of ambitious new years resolutions too.