For hapless souls who are languishing in limerence: The Dionysian Passion of Werther

It's real yearner hours. Smash that like button if ur still up brooding, pondering, languishing, and lamenting. This post is going to be about one of the worst things ever lmao: limerence. I would give you guys a definition of what limerence means, but I think it is better to SHOW you what it means. There is a very famous novel about a limerent character called The Sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe. Here are some letters that Werther sent to his friend Wilhelm about a lady named Lotte:

• 3 September: "Sometimes it is beyond my comprehension that any other man can love her, is allowed to love her, since I love her solely, with such passion and so completely and know nothing, having nothing but her."

• 19 October: "Oh the gap, the fearful gap, I feel here in my breast! — Often I think if once, just once, I could press her to my heart the gap would all be filled."

• 27 October, evening: "I have so much and my feeling for her devours everything, I have so much and without her everything is nothing."

Every limerent in the history of limerence has sent nearly identical messages to their homie while they were crashing out over the equally unfortunate person who is the Limerent Object (LO). Negative reviews of this book complain that Werther's emotions seem exaggerated and over-the-top, that they find him unrelatable because he is like a silly caricature to them rather than like a real person. He is too dramatic for them. But the limerent reader will scream "he's just like me fr" at these passages. In fact to the limerent reader, Werther might actually appear relatively composed and not dramatic enough. 

So now we have established that limerence is a soul-consuming obsession with a person who is not interested, and that a limerent brain is much like a drug addict's brain. In Werther's case, it is for a woman who is already married to someone else. 

I saw a random woman on Goodreads give this book a bad review (I gave it 5 stars, and I am also a woman. I mention my gender because it is relevant to this discourse). She said Werther is creepy and that the book was boring. It is true that Werther is creepy. Limerence is creepy. And boringness is subjective so I'll give that to her, even though I found it entertaining. Now, what was waaaay dumber than this review was one of the replies to it from a man who actually seems to have liked this book as much as I did. He clapped back at her saying that it was a good book and that women can not appreciate it because they lack Dionysian passion. 

As someone who liked this book, I will gatekeep the shit out of it from this sexist ahh man even though we both liked it. You don't deserve Werther if you don't understanding his hopeless yearning to be a universal emotion, not something exclusively experienced by men. I HAVE WAY MORE DIONYSIAN PASSION THAN YOU. 

Also as a book enjoyer, I gotta say to this man: 

• Read Shakespeare's Venus and Adonis and tell me if you think Venus or Adonis is more limerent. Spoiler alert: IT'S VENUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• How did Elaine of Astolat die in the Arthurian legends? That's right, UNREQUITED LOVE FOR LANCELOT. 
• Orsino from Twelfth Night, just like this random guy on Goodreads, also thinks men have more Dionysian passion than women and make better yearners. So he says "There is no woman's sides/Can bide the beating of so strong a passion/As love doth give my heart; no woman's heart/So big, to hold so much; they lack retention" in Act 2 Scene 4. However, VIOLA IS LITERALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM and says she knows that women can be equally down bad. She is disguised as a boy in this scene, which is perhaps why Orsino takes her seriously enough to listen to her objection to what he says. Shakespeare is literally making fun of people who are like the random guy on Goodreads. 
• The biggest yearner in the history of yearning was literally Sappho and she was a lesbian 

Now that I have destroyed this random guy on Goodreads, it's time to get back to the topic of limerence. If you have low self-esteem, you are more likely to experience limerence because you believe you are unworthy of real love. If you are scared of relationships or scared of commitment or the responsibilities of a real relationship (I am warning you that you may be very in denial of this if you are), then you are more likely to be limerent. If you are unhappy with your life in general, limerence offers comforting fantasies. I understand limerence very well. I have spoken with many people about it who have gone through it, and I have gone through it myself a couple of times. I am in an online support group where I give people advice about it from time to time. 

I have spoken to someone whose LO was a much older lady who treated this person like shit basically but they still loved her for like over a decade even though she was abusive, I have spoken to a woman who was forsaken by her LO when he unexpectedly left her and she never got closure and she did not think she could ever love someone again because this man randomly ghosted her, and recently I have spoken with an individual who was limerent over someone who was in a relationship already. 

Many of the anonymous posts in the online support group I have seen were written by married people. They became limerent for someone other than their spouse. I know, it's easy to absolutely hate them for this. In a world where so many people don't get to marry the person they love for various reasons, it's easy to hate someone who seems lucky enough to have gotten married but we must remember that they sometimes married a person who they don't even love. Doesn't seem so lucky now, does it? 

Here are some infographics and memes about limerence that I have gathered, in case you guys still need some clarification on what limerence is.

Now honestly, I am in a happy relationship but I think I do spend a lot of time thinking about my fair beloved the way limerents do. Thinking about the person a lot seems to be relatively harmless as long as it is not preventing you from doing things you need to get done. But if they are the only thing that gives you dopamine, that can get dangerous. 

I feel like it would be very irresponsible of me not to end this post with some tips of what you should do if you are limerent. Don't worry, there is hope. Goethe actually went through limerence himself, and writing Werther helped give him closure. Perhaps a creative hobby can also help you. Here are other things you can try:

• Go No Contact with the LO (very very difficult to do, I know) but you can keep a No Contact journal, message a close friend about how you're doing when you go No Contact, or post in a limerence-related forum online where other people can give you supportive comments to help. 
• Improve other areas of your life so that the LO becomes less appealing try to have self-compassion while doing so. You deserve a better life, so give yourself one!!!
• To avoid behaviour that could be seen as creepy, read posts about people who have been LOs so you can understand what limerence is like for a person on the receiving end. This will help you understand how certain actions may impact them. You can also read posts by people who have been victims of stalking to gain an understanding of how they feel and avoid any behaviour that may even slightly approach stalking. 
• Improve your self-esteem I heard someone say he doesn't have very good self-esteem because he has not accomplished certain goals. For example, he wants to get a car, but doesn't have one. Compliments from his friends help him feel better about himself. However, a person with high self-esteem will not be positively or negatively influenced by other people's words so easily, and they will not believe their worth depends on something as small as whether or not they have a car. You have inherent self-worth and you deserve love. Remembering this will help you improve your life.
• Do not have a negative attitude towards romantic relationships or friendships and do not become bitter. People who are dealing with limerence may have the urge to become hyperindependent, but that can actually lead to more limerence because a lack of satisfying relationships can cause limerence. Learn about friendship red flags and green flags, and work on forming a support network. Everyone needs one, and you will actually risk becoming more clingy and desperate without one. Knowing you have 2-3 solid friendships and actively putting in effort into them will prevent you from wasting effort on some random person who you have pedestalized and romanticized and who doesn't care about you.
• Forgive yourself and forgive your LO. Your LO is not evil and did not want to hurt you (assuming the majority of people have positive intentions). You were both doing the best you could with what you knew. Forgiveness is important for moving on, so is letting go of shame and anger.

Alright fam, that wraps up this post. Please do let me know your thoughts, especially if you have any experience with going through limerence or with being a LO. If you are a book enjoyer, do you know any other books besides Werther that portray limerence well? Let me know if you do!

unfortunately another suburbanite has decided to start a podcast lmao

Yes I know, EVERYONE is trying to start a podcast these days. But I actually need one to reflect on all the thoughts I have. I spend a lot of time pondering, so might as well ponder while yapping into a mic. This podcast is supposed to be therapeutic in a way. 

I decided to give it the title "PhDeezNuts" to challenge the concept of professionalism. Here is the cover art:

EPISODE 1 OF PHDEEZNUTS IS HERE. You can find it on Spotify here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/52S5bLOKoawikkJQFl5eq0?si=4IhoCm_bRqii1OxG4H8lzw

Enjoy and share it with your frens!!!!!!

yer girl is still alive i was just schoolmaxxing + here are the 10 best books I read in 2025

what's up fam it's yer girl. I wanted to post this to give a life update so you know that I'm still alive. I managed to get out of the suburbs, which has always been my life goal. And I have been schoolmaxxing. I have been doing a lot of random stuff. For example, I wrote this article on a very obscure book I read. I am also considering starting a podcast soon. Sorry if you think podcasters are cringe, but I will be contributing to their population increase soon. 

I read 73 books in 2025. I wanted to make a list of the books I thought were the best in case y'all want bookmaxxing recommendations. I have chosen 10 of my favourite books and tried to cover different genres so that there's something for everyone here. 

1. The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson 

I actually read this whole trilogy this year and LOVED all three books, but I would also recommend this book as a standalone because it is quite beautiful and complete on its own. It's one of those fantasy books that doesn't involve any magic, but it involves extensive world-building. There are fictional countries with different languages, cultures, religions, governance systems, literary traditions, gender roles, etc. And Seth Dickinson has put so much effort into creating each one. It's so fun to immerse yourself in the geopolitics of this world. The protagonist is a brilliant savant from an island that has been colonized by an evil empire, but can she dismantle it by working within the system or is that a hopeless idea?

2. The Rise and Fall of Adam and Eve by Stephen Greenblatt 

I had an obsession with Genesis this year, so I read Milton's Paradise Lost and a monograph about how the New England Puritans were influenced by the story of Adam and Eve called Inventing Eden by Zachary Hutchins. I gotta say I loved Greenblatt's book on how Adam and Eve went from having multiple interpretations to how it came to have a literal interpretation because of Augustine and Milton. Adam and Eve could have been allegorical figures, according to some Jewish commentators. They could have simply represented the reason and desire of a single person. However, Augustine interpreted Genesis literally and came up with the idea of Original Sin. Milton was influenced by this interpretation and it became the dominant one in our culture since then. Now we think of it as the only way to correctly interpret Adam and Eve's story. I would recommend reading the original story in Genesis before diving into this book because it's very short and you will see that it leaves a lot of room for asking questions. Greenblatt writes extensively about Augustine and Milton's personal lives and you will feel as if you know these people by the end of the book, and Milton's loneliness and marital problems will increase your appreciation of Adam and Eve's wholesome relationship in Paradise Lost before the fall and of Satan's loneliness and his jealousy at seeing Adam and Eve happy. Unforunately, I have not read Augustine's Confessions. But Greenblatt makes it sounds like he crashes out a lot in it so I mentally refer to it as Augustine's Crash Outs now and I will be reading it in 2026 to let y'all know what I think!!!!

3. Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy

I gotta warn y'all that this is considered one of the saddest novels ever written. I adored it and I think it is one of my favourite novels now, but my heart has also been absolutely destroyed. It criticizes education, marriage, gender roles, parenting, and religion. It was so controversial in 1895 that people burned copies of it. I don't wanna give spoilers, but this book turned me into a marriage abolitionist even though I've never even been remotely close to being one before (literally never throughout my life). If you want to read about how education keeps out some of the smartest people because of class discrimination, and about marriage is done more to avoid social stigma than because people love each other, and if you want to become absolutely doompilled and hopeless and depressed then I recommend this book. It was very beautifully written and I genuinely believe tragedy is the highest art form. Also I have another ultra sad book on my shelf right now, The Sorrows of Young Werther, and I will get to that in 2026. Pray for yer girl I will probably be languishing. 

4. The Language Warrior's Manifesto by Anton Treuer 

As I have mentioned on this blog before, I am a non-Indigenous learner of Anishinaabemowin. Ninanda-gikendaan ji-anishinaabemoyaan. Gaawiin anishinaabe ndaawsii. Aapiji niminwendaan o'ow mzin'igan. I have no doubt that Anishinaabemowin will have more speakers in the future, even though it is an endangered language right now. Treuer talks about how this can be done. He wants to move past simply making people memorize word lists in Indigenous language classes for learning things like animals, numbers, or colours. Instead, he wants speakers to be not only fluent but creative. He envisions a world where Anishinaabemowin children's books are not just translations of English stories or bilingual books for second language learners, instead they should be fully in Anishinaabemowin and have culturally-relevant messages. And of course he thinks there should be Anishinaabe literature available for all ages. He talks about his personal life and how this can not be separated from his language journey and I am sure you'll find this very moving and inspiring, especially how he aims to make sure that all his children are fluent speakers. 

Also just to be clear, I'm sure you'll love this book if you care about endangered language revitalization in general, not just for Anishinaabemowin. And if you don't, then it's even more important for you to read this. 

5. Imaginary Maps by Mahasweta Devi 

 Perhaps this is the most problematic book on this list, only because it talks about the Indigenous Adivasi communities of India and the author is not actually from these communities (I could not tell you which community the stories in this book would be the most applicable to as a major flaw of this book is that it homogenizes them!!!!) However, to defend this choice a little, I will say it does an excellent job of criticizing the Indian state, or perhaps the concept of a nation state in general. You can see that it is only able to survive through exploitation of Gond and Santal people and other such communities as most of India's electricity is generated on their land. Resources are extracted from communities that are not fairly compensated for them (Sounds just like Canada or Russia too). There is one story in here about a reporter who sees a pterodactyl in the jungle, and the pterodactyl is a metaphor for knowledge so ancient that he can not even be able to comprehend it, and of course this knowledge precedes the state. I will say this book gave me a lot to ponder about and that's why I think it should be on this list.

6. The Shape of Sex: Nonbinary Gender from Genesis to the Renaissance by Leah DeVun

The subtitle is extremely misleading as this book is actually about intersex people, not nonbinary people. But it was still incredible. I think having the phase where I was obsessed with Genesis was what drew me to this book, as it does talk about the interpretation of Adam as possessing characteristics of both sexes before Eve is separated from his body and they become two distinct people. Intersex characteristics are associated both with demons and angels in the Middle Ages. The theological discourse around them affected how real people were treated (most obviously when it came to nonconsensual surgery on intersex people). It is horrifying to think that these nonconsensual surgeries still continue all around the world. We have literally learned nothing and that's probably what most horrified me about this book even though I think it is a very important topic for the author to write about 

7. Shakespeare's Sonnets

I loved the experience of reading all 154 of these together rather than reading them as standalone poems, because some of them are like series of sonnets that relate to each other (the reproduction sonnets, the horse and rider sonnets, the fair youth sonnets, the dark lady sonnets, etc.). I literally cried over some of these. These were not the only sonnets I read this year, as I also read Sidney's Astrophil and Stella, but nothing can top Shakespeare's sonnets. I read Venus and Adonis a few years ago, and I have not read the Rape of Lucrece, but in 2026 I might make it a point to read it as I would like to read more of Shakespeare's poetry (and honestly Venus and Adonis is worth a re-read! I realllyyy liked it last time I read it). 

8. AI Snake Oil: What Artificial Intelligence Can Do, What it Can't, and How to Tell the Difference

Now I'm no technology understander, and I lowkey wish I lived in the 1500s sometimes. However, this book is pretty easy to understand even if you are medievalbrained. The authors are computer science professors but they try to make this accessible for people. They tell you why the existential threat of Artificial General Intelligence may actually be overhyped, and that the most dangerous thing about AI is what humans are going to do with it, or what humans with bad intentions and who have power are already doing with it. You will learn why artificial intelligence is terrible for trying to predict the future (whether a criminal will continue committing crimes, if a condition will develop into a more serious disease, if a student's performance will improve, etc.) You will also learn why humans should probably be involved in social media content moderation and it shouldn't just be left to AI to make those decisions as they do not understand human culture. I will certainly be reading more on AI in 2026, especially the ethics of it.

9. All the Horses of Iceland by Sarah Tolmie 

Just a gorgeous historical novella that's impossible to put down, and the kind of thing I hope I'll write someday as it's my dream to write historical fiction. Eyvind of Eyri does not believe that his early tenth-century world is very complicated, even as many of his fellow Icelanders convert to Christianity and forget the old ways. According to him, the world is simply composed of humans, animals, ghosts, and luck. I love how simple and straightforward he is as a character, and also how he believes farming is the most noble profession and his dream is to own a farm!! When the Khazar adventurer David presents Eyvind with the opportunity to travel across the known world, Eyvind sees many things he doesn’t understand, like the nameless a nameless white mare who's bewitched. The message seems to be that magic cuts across all cultures, but only Eyvind seems to be smart enought o see this even though he's so humble. 

10. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius 

I read this because my based bigbrained chad sigma stoic boyfriend likes this book uwu. The idea of “Reason” being like your inner god and something that no one can disturb or take from you was very powerful. No matter what the circumstances are, you still have your reason. Before reading this, I had the mistaken notion of Stoics as isolating themselves from the world. I thought that in order to avoid being carried away by their emotions, they must avoid socializing or it would cause them to form attachments to people. But Marcus Aurelius actually preaches love, compassion, and community, as long as you don't form attachments that make you forget that you have Reason, or logos, or free will, purpose, an inner light... however you want to think about that. I should read more philosophy. Also, I swear he gives advice that sounds like my dad sometimes. And my dad studied Sanskrit. So I wonder if there's a school of thought in Indian philosophy that's actually very similar to Stoicism? Also I want to read Epictetus, as Marcus Aurelius admires him a lot and mentions him in this book. 

Honourable Mention: What the Chicken Knows by Sy Montgomery

And lets end off on something extremely silly, but lowkey kinda based. Yer girl had plans to start a chicken farm but that didn't pan out. Nevertheless, this book reminds me that I will never give up on my dream! If you're a hater, just know that I'm sure you'll be paying premium prices for organic eggs from my farm one day lmao. Anyway, chickens have a lot of instincts we don't understand like pecking aggressively at the sight of blood. They are also affectionate to their owners. Roosters are protective of their flocks and can warn others of danger. These are just some incredible facts about them. And I will continue reading about nature and creatures in 2026.

What is Snekcoatl going to read in 2026?????

• More fantasy because I loved the Masquerade trilogy!!! I'll be checking out some of R.F. Kuang's novels, as well as the Dune books and LOTR.
• More nineteenth-century fiction because I loved Jude the Obscure and Great Expectations! I would really like to read Dracula, as well as books by Austen and the Bronte sisters.
• More books by Anishinaabe authors because I liked Moon of the Turning Leaves by Waubgeshig Rice. Leanne Betasamosake Simpson and Louise Erdrich will be next.
• More nonfiction books about India for tradmaxxing purposes. The Argumentative Indian by Amartya Sen sounds great, as does The Burning Forest: India's War in Bastar by Nandini Sundar.
• More Shakespeare of course!!!
• More philosophy, probably Plato's dialogues.
• More nonfiction about nature, creatures, and ecology. Give recs if you know about CREATURES, I don't really know where to start.
• More historical fiction. I also want to write more of it :)
• More nonfiction on AI such as AI Morality by David Edmonds and Brave New Words by Salman Khan

To all the bookmaxxers out there, whether you are a giganerd or just getting into reading, and whether you plan to read philosophy books or manga in 2026, I wish you the best of luck with your bookmaxxing goals!! Bye, fam!!!

Satan from Paradise Lost is kind of like a wolverine (hear me out)

 

 

Yer girl is back with another informal post on a serious topic, kinda like that post I made about Utopia by Thomas More or about All About Love by bell hooks and Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer (yes I talked about bell hooks and Kimmerer in the same post even tho most people would tell you that they talk about very different things. I actually think the points they make about greed are quite similar). 

Anyway, today's topic is on "Wolverine thinking" (a term I coined) and Paradise Lost. 

Let me begin by explaining what "Wolverine thinking" is, since it is a term I coined after reading a retelling of an Ojibwe legend by Basil Johnston 

When I read Ojibway Heritage (1976) by Basil Johnston, I was fascinated by the story of the wolverine in the chapter called "The Nature of Animals." Johnston explains how the Great Spirit (or Great Mystery, as he translates it) named Kitche Manitou gave gifts to every creature. For example, the eagle received strong wings and keen sight. The deer received grace. The hummingbird was given the power of hovering, and so on. However, the wolverine was unsatisfied with these gifts. 

The wolverine was basically an incel who thinks the reason why he is an incel is because he's short. You see, an incel believes he has been somehow cursed to be genetically inferior and that there is nothing he can do about it even though he can just touch grass and work on his personality. He doesn't know how to be grateful for what he has and make the most of his natural gifts the way everyone else does. Here is a quote from page 52-53. I wanted to directly quote this. Because Johnston writes so beautifully, I didn't want to ruin y'alls's experience of this story by paraphrasing it:

Only the wolverine was discontented. When he saw the extent of the gifts of the other animals, he grew envious. Soon he wanted the strength and the size of a bear, the elegance of deer, and the swiftness of the fox. In his increasing disappointment, the wolverine began to despise himself and his gifts and feel bitter at Kitche Manitou. At length, he resolved to return to the mountain top and ask the Master of Life for greater and better gifts. When the wolverine attained the crest, he boldly called out, “Kitche Manitou! Hear me! You have not been just to me. You have not been just to all the animals. To some you have given greater scope and a greater measure of gifts. By this uneven distribution you have made some great and some less.” More audacious, the wolverine continued, “I demand that you redress this great wrong. For myself, I wish more strength, more comeliness, more speed.” But Kitche Manitou’s thunderous voice broke through the selfish list of wolverine. “To each animal being I have given sufficient power for the fulfilment of his being and form. The power I have conferred on each is a form of my power, and is a reflection of my gifts. “No injustice has been done. If you have not developed and fostered the gifts I have presented to you, it is you who have perpetrated an injustice upon yourself. You have betrayed yourself. “For your presumption, you shall wander alone and despised. And for your refusal to develop your attributes you will, henceforth, feed upon what has been left over by your fellow creatures who have nurtured their talents. Go!” Wolverine left the mountain top more bitter and envious than before. He had not been daunted by Kitche Manitou himself! As Kitche Manitou ordained, so the wolverine became solitary, vicious, and avoided. Hungry ever, he must feed upon the portions left by other animals.

Johnston, Basil. Ojibway Heritage, UNP - Bison Books, 1990. ProQuest Ebook Central, http://ebookcentral.proquest.com/lib/oxford/detail.action?docID=1682898.

Created from oxford on 2025-09-10 20:33:36.

So for his ingratitude, the wolverine is cast into isolation by Kitche Manitou. And honestly, the wolverine deserved this. 

What is "wolverine thinking"? I would say it is constant emptiness like the insatiable hunger of a wolverine that one tries to fill with a greed for material wealth or possessions (Milton certainly condemns greed in Paradise Lost), and constant ingratitude or grumbling at one's circumstances in life, believing that one got the short end of the stick. I think it causes one to suffer when it comes to interpersonal relationships, and also causes one not to take advantage of certain opportunities when they come their way. 

In Book 4 lines 46-48 of Paradise Lost, Satan admits he did not show gratitude to the one who had created him:

What could be less then to afford him praise,

The easiest recompence, and pay him thanks,

How due! yet all his good prov'd ill in me,

The wolverine is bitter, envious, and feels painfully lonely. Note Satan's similar feelings when he is jealous of the closeness of Adam and Eve. This is from Book 4, lines 505-511:

Sight hateful, sight tormenting! thus these two 

Imparadis't in one anothers arms

The happier Eden, shall enjoy thir fill

Of bliss on bliss, while I to Hell am thrust,

Where neither joy nor love, but fierce desire,

Among our other torments not the least, 

Still unfulfill'd with pain of longing pines;

At other times, Satan feels so empty that he is described almost as the anthropomorphized form of Hell. Line 20 in Book 4 is "the Hell within him, for within him Hell."

Anyway, I thought this was bonkers. So I wanted to share this stuff with you. Let me know if you have a different take either on the wolverine story or on Paradise Lost. 

If you would like to read another post I wrote on wolverines, here it is: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2024/12/wolverines-are-most-relatable-animal.html 

These creatures are one of my autistic hyperfixations. 

Bye, frens!

Sigmimptember

What’s up fam it’s yer girl. You may have seen my blog posts from previous Septembers about a monthly challenge called No Simp September. This is when you go the whole month of September without dating or having a crush on anyone or simping. You just set a lot of goals, which can be athletic, academic, creative, social, etc. And then you do these goals instead of simping. Chronic simpers can try giving themselves “three lives” but then if they yearn more than three times during the month it means they’ve failed the challenge. 

The issue is that some people are already in relationships! This means that they need a new monthly challenge. Allow me to introduce the solution: SIGMIMPTEMBER 

My fair beloved who is even more handsome and irresistible than Satan from Paradise Lost was the one who came up with the term “sigmimp.” This is a person who is both a sigma and a simp. So they are hobbymaxxing while still fulfilling their simp duties by adoring their partner. 

Sigmimptember has similar rules to No Simp September. You have to make a lot of goals at the beginning of the month and do your best to achieve them. The difference is you’re allowed to be a simp. You don’t even have to tone down the simping if it isn’t distracting you from your goals. 

You should tell your Sigmimptember goals to your dearly beloved so that they can encourage you to achieve them! Y’all can congratulate each other on your Ws, which is wholesome. 

Have fun frens!! Good luck with SIGMIMPTEMBER. 

Vicky is a demon who killed my firstborn son and tried to force me to eat human flesh (I still like her though)

I have to tell you guys about V*c, or "VickYYYyyYyyYyYY" as I like to call her. Many people believe she has been my best friend for 10 years, and this is true. But she has also been my worst enemy for 100,000 years. Allow me to explain the lore. 

The time Vicky killed my firstborn son 

Long ago I had a vendetta against a suburb. I hated it there, and I thought everyone there was super cringe. I hated them for scorning and excluding me for being weird, and I vowed to get revenge on the suburbanites. I summoned a powerful immortal demon named V*c by drawing this sigil and saying "shingo malingo tik" three times:

I called upon her to destroy the suburb for me, and she did. But she took my firstborn son as a sacrifice!!!! To this day, I don't know what she did to him. Perhaps his flesh was consumed.

Vicky tried to force me to eat human flesh

She asked me under what circumstance I would eat human flesh. I said no way, I ain't doing that. She asked me if I would do it out of curiosity to know what human flesh tasted like and I said no. She asked me if I would taste the flesh of a famous person. I said no. She asked me if I would taste lab-grown human meat cloned from the cells of a person who freely consented to have their meat eaten. I said no I still ain't doing that even if they signed a consent form. She asked me if I would do it for a university study on the effects of cannibalism on the body. I said no. Cope and seethe V*c, I will NEVER consume human flesh. 

Vicky tried to make me write a dissertation on centipedes, knowing that I hate them

Literally a whole ass dissertation. 80,000-100,000 words after many years of research. I told her I wanna write a lesbian romance novel that takes place in seventeenth-century New England (but nothing too spicy in there other than hand-holding). She asked me if I would rather add scandalous scenes to it (if you know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) or write a whole ass dissertation on centipedes. I don't wanna mess up my creative vision. Also, lust is a sin. But apparently the sacrifice of my firstborn son wasn't enough for V*c and now I also gotta spend my intellectual labour on LEGGY BOYS.

After all of this, I still like V*c

she's still my homie and we are bros 4 life. it's a very complicated relationship. she has very cute eyes and a based sense of humour. she radiates joy and positivity and i am very lucky to have her in my life. i dont know what i'd do without her. even demons can be good people. ily V*c <3 

why I study the ojibwe language

Aaniin kina wiya! Today I'm going to talk a bit about Anishinaabemowin, or the Ojibwe language. I am a non-Indigenous student of Anishinaabemowin. Sometimes, people are interested in knowing why I like learning this language so much. It is very challenging to learn, so part of it is for the thrill of the intellectual challenge. But there are also some things about Anishinaabemowin that I consider to be very beautiful and that reminds me of Ojibwe culture and their worldview. 

Anishinaabemowin has a very interesting grammatical structure. You see, most Indigenous languages of North America are considered polysynthetic. This means that they have a high number of morphemes per word. A morpheme is the smallest unit in a language that holds meaning. The English word "cats" has two morphemes, the noun "cat" and the "s" which is a plural ending. 

In Anishinaabemowin, there are a lot of very long words that are dense with morphemes. It feels like every syllable holds so much meaning. 

There's an example I can give of this that comes from "The Seven Generations and Seven Grandfather Teachings" by James Vukelich. Vukelich talks about the Anishinaabemowin word "indaanikoobijigan." This usually means "my ancestor" but it can also mean my grandparent, my great grandparent, my grandchild, my great grandchild or my descendant. To understand "indaanikoobjigan" better, Vukelich mentions the "aanik" morpheme, which also appears in words like:

aanikoobidoon (string it together, tie it)

aanikegamaa (chain of lakes)

aanikanootamaw (translate it for her)

aanik-ogimaa (someone who fulfills the role of a chief if the current one can no longer do so. "ogimaa" is chief)

Vukelich concludes that aanik indicates something linked in a process or working in a chain, and so "indaanikoobijigan" is like "one to whom I am inextricably linked"

His book has other examples of Anishinaabemowin morphemes as well. Being aware of the structure of Anishinaabemowin words just makes it seem like a poetic language, extremely rich in meaning with tons of potential for metaphors. 

I'll do some more Ojibweposting later. Giga-waabamin miinawaa!!

Printable activities for Snekcoatl fans (including self-care bingo card drop for Improovers!!!!)

What's up fam? Yer girl had a birthday party recently, and one of the activities I had my frens do when they came over to my place was a printable wordsearch I made. If you would like to find the names of mythological snenkes from all over the world, here is a link to the pdf: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WmSnduoP4adBo4SCpItvKOWVT6T5V4qU/view?usp=sharing 

Also, for those of you who are Improovers (people obsessed with self-improvement), I have decided to make a self-care bingo card. You can print this out or post this on your Instagram story. Here is the link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NU3Vk0407TZyWSLQr34i3TD9NYH7wbxu/view?usp=sharing 

Have fun improving, frens!!!!!!

The cards speak to me! (yer girl is lowkey the oracle of delphi)

 What's up fam? It's yer girl. I wanted to tell you guys about how much I love oracle cards and how much I have benefited from them on my healing journey. I know what y'all are thinking "now wait a minute snekgirl, I didn't know you were one of those new age spiritual types. I thought you were an atheist!" And that is true. But rather than thinking of oracle cards as a way of connecting to a higher power, you can think of them as connecting to your own intuition if you're an atheist. This is why I encourage people to use oracle cards. If people in your life treat you as if you're still a child who doesn't know what's good for you, if they act like they think you don't know how to make decisions by yourself, then oracle cards can feel very empowering because they remind you that you know yourself best. They encourage you to take matters into your own hands instead of being passive when a problem or uncertainty arises in your life. They will train you how to listen to your gut feelings again, the way you used to before society gaslighted you. 

Oracle card decks can be expensive (although the art on them tends to be exquisite, so it's worth it imo) but there are free online ones, and some new age cafes have oracle cards you can use for free as well. I have the Sufi wisdom oracle, but honestly I prefer the Starseed oracle and Kuan Yin oracle. 

Since I like art, folklore, and writing inspirational messages for people, I am also thinking of making my own oracle cards and posting them online for people to use. 

Before shuffling the deck, say a prayer to yourself. This can be an actual prayer if you're religious. If you're not, think of any deity that is relevant to you but imagine it as the manifestation of an abstract concept rather than thinking of praying to a being that exists. It could be any concept that is relevant to the question you want to ask the cards about. 

For example, if I need refuge from particularly disturbing thoughts that day, I pray to Santa Muerte. She's a skeleton, but her embrace is warm. And she offers protection for those fearing violent deaths, or those who simply have no one else to turn to. If I'm stagnating on creative growth, I think of Xochipilli, "the prince of flowers" as he symbolizes the springtime and that is the time of growth and renewal so I think of it as the season of creativity. If I want to turn to a protective, motherly figure who can also be fierce, I think of Sedna or Nuliajuk from Inuit beliefs. And if I want to do justice to a certain research topic and approach academics with integrity, I think of my favourite, Quetzalcoatl the Aztec god of wisdom. 

Of course, go with whatever speaks to you. Imagine Venus is you're trying to maximize enjoyment in a relationship. Imagine Mars if you're trying to rizz someone up, as he symbolizes action over passivity and courage over being a wimp. Those are just my suggestions. 

Once you've prayed, shuffle the cards slowly and allow yourself to put your trust in them or feel a connection to them. 

Now comes the time when you can ask the cards a question. Don't ask yes or no questions, and don't ask "am I right or wrong?" Ask things that are more open-ended.

Questions that I have asked the cards:

1. How will pursuing a PhD change me as a person?

2. What challenges lay ahead of me as I am about to start a PhD?

3. I worry that I may stagnate when it comes to artistic pursuits. How can I prevent this?

4. How do I maximize enjoyment in a relationship for both me and my partner?

5. How do I heal from a breakup?

6. How does learning about a new language or immersing myself in a new culture change me as a person?

7. How will moving to a new country change me?

To answer a question, you could draw a single card. But I recommend using a spread if you want a more precise answer. One of my favourite spreads is laying out three cards in a row to represent the past, present, and future. You can draw a fourth card to add clarity to your reading. You can arrange 12 cards in a circle to do a yearly forecast. Every oracle card deck is different, but they all come with guidebooks. The guidebook is indispensable! It will tell you card meanings and suggest spreads. Some guidebooks will give you alternate meanings for if you draw a card upside down. Others may offer separate meanings for if you draw a card for a "personal question" or a "relationship question." Some will add a prayer for you to say or a type of meditation to try. 

Tarot cards generally have more intricate spreads, and an experienced tarot reader won't need a guidebook. But for oracle cards, you do need one. 

Once you flip over the cards in your spread, you can start interpreting their meaning. The guidebook will help with this. 

Here are some examples of things that the cards have told me:

• I possess great creativity and the ability to love deeply and I need to protect these parts of my identity while pursuing a PhD
• I will need to work very hard (getting in was hard, but staying in is also not easy lol)
• I need to seek collaboration on my creative projects
• When in a relationship, I need to focus on enjoying the present moment instead of worrying about the future. 
• If I try my best in a relationship, the breakup will be easier to deal with because I will know that I did all that I could have done. 
• I will become better at strategic and analytical thinking, problem solving, and taking action if I learn a new language
• When I move to another country, I need to let go of my emotional baggage and any negative vestiges of my past life

These are all great answers, and I am glad the cards spoke to me!

I hope y'all will give oracle cards a try. 

announcing my rooner era and a rant about how society hates female desire

Hello frens. For those of you who know about my monthly goals for the month of June, I am proud to announce that I have finished them all. Yes, even my goal of going for a run at least 4 times this month!!!! That means that I am officially a rooner now. I even have Hoka shoes. I will continue rooning in July. 

He's just like me fr <3 

To celebrate getting my monthly goals done, I made eggplant parmesan!!! It was really good !!!! Here's the link to the recipe I used, for anyone interested: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/25321/eggplant-parmesan-ii/ 

So I wanted to share some lingering thoughts I have after having a long phone yap sesh with one of my homies who is like 10 years older than me. She's a girlboss and hella based, but I find it funny that our friendship lowkey doesn't pass the Bechdel test sometimes because our conversation topics tend to be about love and relationships. But I consider her to be an expert on these matters, so it is much better to talk to her about this stuff than it would be with some clueless woman in her early 20s. I will share some stuff I pondered about after yapping with her, but first here is a brief intermission to drop my monthly goals for July. Also lmao Canada Day is coming up, and I know it will be more lit this year than perhaps it has ever been before. 

Snekcoatl's July Goals (I'm making them extra spicy and ambitious this month)

1. Languages: 
• Finish the workbook "Our Ojibwe Grammar" by Rick Gresczyk 
• Move on to Lesson 9 of the Kidon Miinawaa Introductory Ojibwe online textbook after reviewing the relevant flashcards in my Anki deck
• 10 hours of practicing reading and writing in Hindi (the Linguin app has short stories and articles and Hindi, so I might practice with that)
2. Rooning and other fitness related stuff:
• Go on at least 4 roons again
• At least 12 gym check-ins
• Get at least 400,000 steps of walking this month 
• Try at least 3 at-home workouts from this youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/@fitbymik/posts?themeRefresh=1
3. Reading
• Finish reading Roger Williams and the Creation of the American Soul: Church, State and the Birth of Civil Liberty by John M. Barry (it's really good so far. I love how the author talks about historical figures as if he knows them personally lmao)
• Finish reading the second book of the Masquerade trilogy, The Monster Baru Cormorant. (IT'S SOOOO GOOOD SO FAR EEEE I LOVE BARU CORMORANT AND ABDUMASI ABD THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE GIRL AND MY FAVOURITE BOY)
• Try to get like at least 1/4th of the way through at least one other book for research purposes 
4. Creative stuff
• edit the short story I finished writing recently 
• write a poem inspired by Saint Francis of Assisi 
• finish at least one lesson of an online asynchronous course on coloured pencil art that I'm taking 
5. Self-care stuff
• do the extended version of my skincare routine lmao
• do hair stuff and nail stuff. basically the girl maintenance stuff that I have been putting off for some time because I generally do not like being reminded that I have a corporeal form. 

Okay, that should be enough to keep me busy. I'm going to revisit these on July 15th to see if they need to be adjusted because they are definitely ambitious but I am also unemployed lmao and I won't be in school again until October when I start my PhD. 

Also, my birthday will be in July!!!!!! I might need to take my birthday off to relax a bit and not work towards these goals that day and maybe have a party with some frens. 

Now it's time to tell you about the stuff I was pondering about. 

Basically, my fren was talking about how concerning it is that some left-wing and liberal feminist dating advice written by women and for women actually sounds a lot like conservative stuff now that feminism was supposed to be fighting against in the first place. She was talking about posts that encourage women to find a m*n who provides for them. Not only a decent life but a luxurious one so she can be soft and feminine. And about finding a m@n who is obsessed with you and makes you his priority in life or something. Bruh? All I want is for him to show emotional intelligence. 

This all seems very concerning and regressive to me and my fren for two reasons that we discussed. One is that the whole point of feminism is for women to not have to depend on men. A good man can be a nice add-on to an already fulfilling life, but that's all he should be. Another issue we have with the advice being given to women right now is that is reinforces rigid notions of gender. For example, it discourages women from being the pursuer or making the first move if they want to and it makes men feel like they should never expect or want the woman to make an effort. It's okay for a man to a babygirl!!!! or a princess!!! or a tradwife!!! It's 2025, after all. And don't even get me started on "a ReLaTiOnsHip ONLy wOrkS iF tHe MaN lOvEs tHe WoMaN mOrE tHaN sHe LoVEs HiM." Y'all are supposed to be mutual simps for each other. That is literally the whole point of being in a relationship. Stop being bitter and doompilled.

This brings me to the thesis of this post which is that I think society hates female desire and wants us to suppress it. Incels tell us to settle for people we are not even attracted to, and terfy radfems tell us to be with some simp who is obsessed with us and has a "provider" kink. Bro why don't you provide some good listening skills and some genuine interest in my hobbies? My point is that women are not trophies to be won. We have our own desires. But somehow it's always "find someone who will spoil you" and never "find someone who you like so much that you actually feel like spoiling them." Normalize women feeling violent carnal desire instead of expecting them to take a passive role in relationships. 

Anyway, that's all for today. Maybe next time I'll tell you guys about the time I used to want to abolish the nuclear family until I became more pro-natalist and pro-family and explain the way my thinking changed over time lol. 

Bye, frens!!

 

I wish bell hooks and Robin Wall Kimmerer did a crossover episode to discuss the Windigo and greed

 What's up y'all? Recently, I had the pleasure of reading "All About Love: New Visions" by bell hooks and "Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, and the Teachings of Plants" by Robin Wall Kimmerer. At first glance, the only thing that these books may seem to have in common is that grad students like reading them. But I actually see a lot of similarities in how bell hooks talks about consumerism and how Robin Wall Kimmerer talks about the Windigo. 

The Windigo is a creature that the Anishinaabe speak of that consumes human flesh. In pop culture, you may have seen Windigos appear in horror movies or games. But people who reduce the Windigo to "a sp00ky creature from Native American mythology!!!1!!" are missing the point of Windigo stories. They are cautionary tales. You see, the Windigo was once a human. It was consumed by insatiable greed. No matter what it consumed, it wasn't enough. Humans like this are at risk of "going Windigo." After that, they begin consuming human flesh. If you want to make an artistic rendition of a Windigo but give it contemporary significance, just draw a greedy CEO with a suit and a tie!

One of the essays in Braiding Sweetgrass is called "Windigo footprints." This is where Kimmerer gives the following description of Windigos:

"It is said that the Windigo will never enter the spirit world but will suffer the eternal pain of need, its essence a hunger that will never be sated. The more a Windigo eats, the more ravenous it becomes. It shrieks with its craving, its mind a torture of unmet want. Consumed by consumption, it lays waste to humankind."

This is why I love Robin Wall Kimmerer's writing style. So as you can see, the Windigo is at its core empty. He feels hollow, and there's nothing he can do about it. 

Now lets see what bell hooks writes about consumerism. I am going to share a quote that is in chapter 7 of "all about love," which is called "greed." Keep in mind that Kimmerer's book at its core is about respecting plants as if they are our elders and teachers, which requires a lot of humility to do so. bell hooks speaks of the importance of not giving up on love and using love to not only guide our relationships but political movements as well. She addresses rampant lovelessness in society while Kimmerer confronts the blatant disrespect of nature. And maybe these things are intertwined. 

Many children are brought up in loveless households and continue to be deprived of love as adults. When this happens, they are consumed by greed.

bell hooks writes:

"Intense spiritual and emotional lack in our lives is the perfect breeding ground for material greed and overconsumption. In a world without love the passion to connect can be replaced by the passion to possess. While emotional needs are difficult, and often impossible to satisfy, material desires are easier to fulfill."

This passage really makes me imagine the lovelessness a Windigo must feel. It almost makes you feel compassion or sympathy for the Windigo (while still wanting to stay away from it). 

Now, there are plenty of counterpoints to what bell hooks is saying. Are wealth fantasies always caused by feelings of emptiness or lovelessness? Perhaps not, but they certainly can be. bell hooks also talks about American consumerism in particular, and the same may not apply to other cultures. 

If someone from a Dalit community in India dreamed of owning a fancy car and eventually bought one after becoming wealthier (which is actually possible because caste discrimination and class discrimination are two separate issues in India), any criticism of this action would probably come from a very privileged person. Who are they to judge what a person from a disadvantaged background does to make themselves happier?

That being said, I do think lovelessness and perhaps a lack of passion, hobbies and interests can exacerbate material greed. And I still do think bell hooks is describing how Windigos are made, even if it may not be the only way. 

If you've read either bell hooks or Kimmerer or both or you're simply familiar with Windigo lore, what do you think? What is the contemporary significance of the Windigo in the face of the loneliness epidemic and environmental destruction?

fences

yer girl has finished reading Changes in the Land: Indians, Colonists, and the Ecology of New England, which is a book that i once asked a Discord eboy to buy for me and it is embarrassing how long it took for me to actually get to it, but i got through it pretty quickly when I did. It's a good thing this blog lets me yap about academic topics in a non-academic way lmao, like that time I shared my thoughts on Thomas More's Utopia: https://freyathefrypan.blogspot.com/2024/04/yer-girl-has-thoughts-on-utopia-by.html 

If I had to make everything I say sound like a conference presentation or essay I would go bonkers!!!!!

Anyway, Changes definitely makes me want to read more works of environmental history. Imagine more historical monographs that treated a land as an active participant in history rather than just the setting for it. Perhaps economic historians would argue that market forces determine the course of history or something, but the environment actually plays an even greater role and influences human culture. Cronon captures how nature and culture influence each other in this quote from pg 13 of Changes "Environment may initially shape the range of choices available to a people at a given moment, but then culture reshapes environment in responding to those choices. The reshaped environment presents a new set of possibilities for cultural production, thus setting up a new cycle of mutual determination." He also captures the essence of his methodology on pg 15 "Our project must be to locate a nature which is within rather than without history, for only by doing so can we find human communities which are inside rather than outside nature." 

Cronon talks about many fascinating things in this book that made me see society and nature differently. For example, about controlled burns of trees by Native tribes. These deliberate fires created conditions favourable to strawberries, blackberries, raspberries and other gatherable foods. And of course, it increased the growth of grass and therefore attracted deer in large numbers which could be hunted. Because the grassy areas were enlarged, it raised the herbivorous food supply and resulted in an increase of the deer and elk population. This in turn increased the population of lynxes and wolves.

This is mind-blowing, because it means Native hunters were not just depending on the bounty of nature, they had actually created the conditions for a food source that they were able to harvest. 

Europeans just thought the abundance of species in North America meant that they found an earthly paradise, virgin land and an untouched wilderness.

But this post is about fences.

I'm going to talk about the fence as a symbol, because Cronon touched on it briefly. 

You see, the English agricultural system mixed the raising of crops with the keeping of animals. This meant that they needed to separate the animals from the crops of the animals would eat the crops. They needed fences!!! So the fence became the most visible symbol of a land that Europeans thought had been "improved" by their settlement. The Puritan John Winthrop criticized the Natives because they did not enclose any land. 

I wanted to draw your attention to a passage from Mary Rowlandson's captivity narrative. This is a pretty commonly read text especially in classes about early American literature. But in case you're not familiar with it, Mary Rowlandson was a Puritan woman who was held captive by the Wampanoag people during King Philip's War. This is an example of Rowlandson clinging to signs of English modification of the land for comfort. It's from the section of the narrative called "the seventh remove."

“As we went along, I saw a place where English cattle had been. That was comfort to me, such as it was. Quickly after that we came to an English path which so took with me that I thought I could have freely laid down and died” 

Traces of cattle and an English path were a great comfort to her, and something she clung to during her captivity. Imagine how excited she would have been by a fence.

By the way, this is shameless self promo, but you're also reading MY blog so I guess it doesn't matter. The essay that I wrote on Mary Rowlandson is one of my favourite pieces of academic writing I've ever done and I'm quite proud of it (it also got me into two PhD programs, waitlisted for one, and interviewed by three). If you wanna read it, here's the google drive link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1iLfOi2TlilTt_0VlvW1be-Q6k0_2DnJG/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=110475621005188424434&rtpof=true&sd=true 

I would like y'all to now ponder the modern meaning of fences. What about white picket fences in North American suburbs? What do they symbolize? 

And why for the love of God do we destroy the native vegetation of North America to make flat patches of grass, like lawns and golf courses, and then declare this an "improvement" and a comfort???

It's because our society has unfortunately inherited too much from the New England Puritans, including how we see nature. In the Puritan worldview, man is meant to serve God but nature is meant to serve man. 

This is why I am a suburb abolitionist. 

June monthly goals halfway check-in

yer girl is languishing, crashing out and absolutely devastated rn but i literally don't even have time to lament, bewail and bemoan my fate. i dont have time to be sad ;w; 

I need to cope by keeping my schedule full and keeping on top of my goals, also I will try to spend time with frens and family instead of socially isolating.

So at the beginning of this month, I made a list of some monthly goals to accomplish. Since today is June 15th, I need to do a halfway point check-in to make sure I'm staying on track. Honestly fam, it's not looking too good for me right now but I think there's still hope.

The halfway check-in is also a good chance for me to revise any goals that I think are too unrealistic. Also, if you're considering incorporating monthly goals into your own life, I suggest having no more than 5 per month and making sure they all have to do with different areas of your life. If you make them all about fitness or all about academics it might be harder to get them all done. 

So here are my goals for June:

1. Ojibwemaxxing: Review 400 Anishinaabemowin vocabulary flashcards on Anki and move on to lesson 8 of the Kidon Miinawaa Introductory Ojibwe online textbook. By the way if you're interested in learning Ojibwe, you can find this free online course here: https://ciel.utsc.utoronto.ca/ojibwe-textbook/

2. Healthmaxxing: Go for a run (at least 4 times)

3. Annoying task which is extremely important but that I have been putting off for too long: Do my student visa application lmao

4. Creativitymaxxing: Draw a fairy sitting on a mushroom surrounded by giant bugs

5. Hobbymaxxing: Pick up at least 1 new hobby. Ideas include knitting, chess, or playing the flute. 

Now let's see how I've actually been managing in all these areas:

1. Ojibwemaxxing: Aapiji niminochige! I've actually been doing really well with this one and hit my target. I also started working through a grammar workbook called "Our Ojibwe Grammar" by Rick Gresczyk. This made me realize that I need to set a much more ambitious target for Ojibwemaxxing in July! 

2. Healthmaxxing: lmao i have failed to do this. I haven't been on a single run. But there is still time to get on this and it still seems realistic, so I won't revise this goal.

3. Extremely important task: have not done this lmao i need to get on this

4. Creativitymaxxing: I did the lineart but haven't started the colouring yet. The colouring will take a very long time to do though. I use prismacolor coloured pencils as my preferred medium. My technique has improved so I know how to make fur or hair look more realistic now, and this is good cause one of the creatures in this piece is a giant tarantula and I need to make sure the texture of the orange and black fuzz looks realistic!! I won't revise this goal even though it's a time consuming one, cause honestly art is extremely therapeutic for me and I need that right now because I have been a very sadge girl lately. 

5. Hobbymaxxing: This goal needs to be scrapped. Duolingo has chess lessons by the way, if anyone's interested. I tried them and they were alright, but I feel like I would rather improve my technique in hobbies I already have than pick up a new one right now. 

Alright, it seems like I can achieve all of these. I'll let you guys know what happens!

Also, I desperately need to get back into creative writing. Stay tuned for narrative poems, novel excerpts and short stories!!