Aztec historical flash

Mexico- 1450 AD 

My mother's people belong to the desert. There are not a lot of people in our village. We live on what we hunt- deer, rabbits, and wild turkeys. Our priests chew peyote and recieve visions to guide us. The chief of our village is a generous man. He has a bobcat pelt draped around his shoulders.

My father's people further south who live in big cities call us the Chichimeca, which means "dog people." They think of us less civilized as them because we sometimes move with the seasons and don't stay in one place for long. We just have a different way of life as them. 

One day, my father announced that he was tired of the desert. "There's nothing to see here but sand and cacti. Coyotl, my son, you're a man now. You're 15 summers old. I think it's time to take you on a visit to my country." 

My younger siblings were jealous of me, as none of them had ever left the desert before. My mother was happy for me, saying it's important for young men to see the world. She gave my father a kiss, and soon I was on my way with him to his hometown: the great city of Tenochtitlan. 

We travelled by foot for most of the way. My father knew exactly what inns to stop at. He used to be a merchant a long time ago, so he had a lot of experience with travelling all over the region on business trips on behalf of Tenochtitlan. 

We made a pit stop in the Otomí lands. "They make the best octli here, son." He let me try some of the intoxicating drink because he said I was old enough to handle it. I winced at the taste. My father laughed and said there would be far better things to eat and drink in Tenochtitlan. 

When we got closer to our destination, we got on board a canoe. I nearly tipped it over in excitement when I saw Tenochtitlan on the horizon. 

It looked like a city for gods. A huge temple-pyramid was in the heart of the city, and it was the most massive thing I'd ever seen. It was constructed with such care and beauty. It seemed like a giant mountain to me with its summit above the clouds. 

When we got closer to the city, I could that there were thousands of canoes. Indeed, the most common way of getting around in Tenochtitlan was by canoe. The whole city was built on a lake, so there were more canals than streets. Hundreds of engineers were tasked with the job of keeping the buildings safe from floods. 

We rowed past the chinampas- gardens that floated on the lakewater. They grew crops there like maize and beans. 

Finally, my father took me to a splendid, bustling marketplace. It was full of everything you could imagine. I went up to a food stall and ordered a tamale- maize dough mixed with chillis and wrapped inside a corn husk. It tasted delicious. 

My father bought a bracelet made of shark teeth that was made by a coastal people I'd never heard of. "Your mother will love this," he said. 

I shuddered when I saw a stall that sold pelts from a fierce animal called a jaguar. They were from the hot Mayan lands in the south, full of jungles and powerful city-states. 

No one thought I was strange, even though I clearly looked foreign and I was not very good at speaking Nahuatl. They were used to getting travellers from all over the world. 

When it was time to leave the magnificent city, I was full of stories to tell my younger siblings. Tenochtitlan was an incredible place, but I was starting to miss them and my mom. 

"I've travelled far and wide," said my dad. "But there's no place like home."

Folk Art Styles I Admire

A lot of folk artists don't really have a lot of professional training, which results in their art looking childish and funky with wild proportions and bright, chaotic colours. Of course this is a generalization because folk art styles vary a lot depending on what you're talking about.

In this post I'll list some of my favourite art styles. Stuck in quarantine? Maybe you want to take some inspiration from these for your own art. 

Madhubani art from Bihar, India 

Australian Pointillism 

Huichol/Wixaritari art from Mexico 

Woodland school (Canada) 

I got an A+ on an essay I wrote about the Aztecs

Okay but like, what else were you expecting from me? Read it here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/15YOud8tSyQQIhe7VWwUuA6ReQS4krJ29V686D7EMCOY/edit?usp=sharing

Mexico's Philosopher King: Nezahualcóyotl of Texcoco

The following is my response to a Quora question that asked "which historical figure do you have a crush on?"

I think Nezahualcóyotl of Texcoco was really interesting. He was the emperor of the city-state of Texcoco (part of the Aztec empire). Under his rule, Texcoco was ushered into a Golden Age of art and literature. He called together an ensemble of philosophers, artists, musicians and other wise men who could develop their crafts in the court of Texcoco. He was the Philosopher King of Mexico. He even gathered materials for an impressive library, which didn’t survive the Spanish conquest. Don’t you just hate it when libraries don’t survive conquests?

People usually remember him for being a gifted engineer and architect. He created a dike which separated the fresh and brackish waters of Lake Texcoco, which I suppose is really important, but I don’t find it that interesting. What really fascinates me about him is his poetry. He wrote a lot about death and the inevitability of oblivion. Some of his poems still manage to be pretty and lighthearted, talking a lot about butterflies and quetzals and stuff. Here’s a sample:

He makes the Eagles and Ocelots dance with him!

Come to see the Huexotzinca:

On the dais of the Eagle he shouts out,

Loudly cries the Mexica.

The battlefield is the place: where one toasts the divine liquor in war,

where are stained red the divine eagles,

where the tigers howl,

where all kinds of precious stones rain from ornaments,

where wave headdresses rich with fine plumes,

where princes are smashed to bits.

There is nothing like death in war,

nothing like the flowery death

so precious to Him who gives life:

far off I see it: my heart yearns for it!

And they called it Teotihulcan

because it was the place

where the lords were buried.

Thus they said:

'When we die,

truly we die not,

because we will live, we will rise,

we will continue living, we will awaken

This will make us happy.'

Thus the dead one was directed,

when he died:

'Awaken, already the sky is rosy,

already dawn has come,

already sing the flame-coloured guans,

the fire-coloured swallows,

already the butterflies fly.'

Thus the old ones said

that who has died has become a god,

they said: 'He has been made a god there,

meaning 'He has died.'

Even jade is shattered,

Even gold is crushed,

Even quetzal plume are torn . . .

One does not live forever on this earth:

We endure only for an instant!

Will flowers be carried to the Kingdom of Death:

Is it true that we are going, we are going?

Where are we going, ay, where are we going?

Will we be dead there or will we live yet?

Does one exist again?

Perhaps we will live a second time?

Thy heart knows:

Just once do we live!.

Like a quetzal plume, a fragrant flower, 

friendship sparkles:

like heron plumes, it weaves itself into finery.

Our song is a bird calling out like a jingle:

how beautiful you make it sound!

Here, among flowers that enclose us,

among flowery boughs you are singing.

the earth is a grave and nothing escapes it, nothing is so perfect 

that it does not descend to its tomb. Rivers, rivulets, fountains and 

waters flow, but never return to their joyful beginnings; anxiously 

they hasten on the vast realms of the rain god. As they widen their 

banks, they also fashion the sad urn of their burial.

Filled are the bowels of the earth with pestilential dust once flesh and bone, 

once animate bodies of man who sat upon thrones, decided cases, presided in 

council, commanded armies, conquered provinces, possessed treasure, destroyed 

temples, exulted in their pride, majesty, fortune, praise and power. Vanished 

are these glories, just as the fearful smoke vanishes that belches forth from 

the infernal fires of Popocatepetl. Nothing recalls them but the written page.

-Nezahualcoyotl

Fun fact: He’s also on the 100 peso banknote in Mexico 

Mexico Demands Apology from Spain for Conquest

Check out this article!
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-47701876?fbclid=IwAR0U7nyc72ogJXMAnmo1LXQjrwr7JetVcuR7ZBeIUKBZJ-UPr6_9v8VNTYQ

The Aztec Emperor's Axolotl: A Short Story

 Originally Posted on Medium's Creative Cafe Website

The axolotl never failed to amaze Ce. He would often converse with the strange salamander-like creature from the swamps of Mexico for hours at a time. As it swam around in its tank, it seemed to have the enlightened expression of a wise, ancient sage. Ce observed it as it swam among the new aquarium decorations he bought, which were miniature Mexican pyramids.

“Do you like your new aquarium decorations, Cipactli? The one you’re investigating right now is supposed to look like the pyramid of Cholula. It has the greatest volume of any pyramid in the world” Ce told the creature.

The axolotl turned from its inspection of the ruin to face Ce. It seemed to give an enigmatic smile.

Ce sighed. “It’s really sad how the Spaniards built a church on top of it. Maybe I can get rid of the church when I’m crowned as huey tlatoani of All the Land Between the Waters today. Or maybe I should keep it as a holocaust museum to inform outsiders of what happened to our people. What do you think, Cipactli?”

Of course, the axolotl had no way of answering. The red fringes around its face fluttered as a guest made his way into Ce’s room.

“Ce! There you are! Stop talking to that creature and get ready. You’ll be late for the coronation ceremony. People are coming from all over the Land of the Eagle and the Land of the Condor.”

It was the silver-haired elder, Amoxtli. In his arms, the short man clutched several pages that had been folded up accordion style as well as vials of black and red ink to document the details of the upcoming event.

“This indolence can not be tolerated of an emperor! You know that, Ce.”

“I’ll be there in a second, Amoxtli. I just have to feed Cipactli an earthworm.” Ce said. As he opened the can of worms, the axolotl seemed to sense that it was feeding time. It joyfully darted to the surface.

Ce donned a majestic azure cloak with a crimson trim before he departed. It was decorated in parrot feathers and swept the ground. It matched the colour of his long, embroidered loincloth. He had a look at himself in his obsidian mirror and was pleased to see that his jade earrings looked magnificent. His colourful finery stood out on his cacao-coloured skin, and his long, glossy black hair was embellished with a turquoise pin in the shape of a two-headed serpent.

“Alright, I definitely look regal enough” he decided before setting out for the throne room of the palace of New Tenochtitlan, formerly Mexico City.

Amoxtli was already there, addressing an eclectic crowd made up of various indigenous groups. Even at his ancient age, he remained a charismatic orator.

“My people, we will rise again like a phoenix reborn from ashes! Our centuries of oppression under a foreign regime have come to an end. Emperor Ce will work tirelessly to restore order as he rules over All the Land between the Waters, the two subcontinents of the Western Hemisphere!”

A grand applause rose up from the crowd. Delegates had traveled from every corner of the land expecting Ce to extinguish their worries and to usher them into a Golden Age. They represented the various indigenous people of Ce’s dominion, from tiny nomadic tribes like the Guna people from the Amazon rainforest to the descendents of empires and nation-states such as the Aztecs, Mayans, Incas, and the mound-building cultures from along the Mississippi River. Everyone hoped their leader would bring them glory and spearhead the nation to the zenith of its influence. Ce could see all these expectations plainly on the faces of the diverse crowd. Everyone wore the same serious countenance, for although they all held the same unabashed adoration for Amoxtli the Elder, they let Ce know that even though he had been chosen he had yet to prove himself.

Ce twitched nervously on the dais as he stood in front of his people. He felt butterflies in his stomach like the restless souls of his dead warrior ancestors. He began to present his carefully rehearsed speech.

“My people,” he began his address, “allow me to elaborate on the greatness of our ancient civilizations and how far we’ve come since then. Our ancestors built great cities, like Tenochtitlan with all its canals and causeways, pyramids, palaces, and observatories. It was an island city in the middle of a glistening, blue lake and was the inspiration for this new city we are standing in right now, New Tenochtitlan.” It was the usual theme of many public speeches in the land, and no one in the room was surprised by it. Indeed, they had all heard similar descriptions so many times before that it wasn’t very hard for them to imagine the ancient cities he spoke of. “Or like Qosqo, a city built high in the Andes mountains, laid out in the shape of a crouching Mountain Lion and filled with gold-encrusted temples and palaces with jeweled walls. It had fine fortresses with impressive stonework and green terraces for farming and herding woolly llamas and alpacas.”

He scanned the crowd for reactions and noticed that a high-cheek boned, queen-like woman from Qosqo smiled proudly. Her piercing obsidian eyes were bright and fierce. Ce observed that she wore a necklace with a chakana pendant. It was an ancient Inca symbol and everyone know that she was the descendant of a powerful people. She carried the rainbow banner of Qosqo and looked like some kind of goddess-like apparition.

Ce could hear cheers rise up all around the hall, including from the woman who had caught his eye. Everyone drank in the flowery words of the glorious, eloquent speech. The Elder Amoxtli looked up from his writing and smiled. It was time for him to present Ce with a headdress of quetzal plumes. Great elation stirred in the room.

Some of the last delegates that had arrived from the furthest regions of the empire now started to settle in. They brought their heraldry with them. Ce caught a glimpse of the purple flag of the Iroquois confederacy. Some of the very last people to arrive were from Nunavut, carrying flags baring its red inuksuk symbol. It was part of the Inuit’s vast Arctic homeland, the northernmost part of the new nation. Ce heard the stomping of large boots and knew it meant that the Aónikenk people had arrived from their even colder homelands in Patagonia, near in proximity to Antarctica. They were greeted warmly by the Inuit.

“I see some more people have arrived. Welcome, brothers and sisters!”

The Inuit and Patagonian groups were the last ones to arrive since they had to come to Ce’s capital of New Tenochtitlan from so far away, but their presence was of great symbolic importance, showing that the new confederacy of indigenous nations was united from north to south, from the Land of the Eagle to the Land of the Condor.

The Elder finally crowned Ce with the feathered headdress. Ce felt powerful knowing that the feathers towered above him and made him look tall and formidable. He was handed a golden chalice by Amoxtli. It had been carved with a design of two birds, the mighty eagle of the North and the condor of the South, the emblem of the new nation.

“When you indulge in the luxurious chocolate elixir that I have had handed you in that chalice and then proceed to sit on your extravagant throne, don’t be fooled. Beware! It will seem like the most comfortable chair in the world at first, but it is really a seat of pain. You were chosen by the people because they thought you would be strong enough to endure struggle throughout your reign.” The Elder declared.

Ce drank deeply from the golden chalice, taking care not to spill a drop of the frothy chocolate drink. It was sweet at first, but the aftertaste was bitter. Then Ce felt a burning sensation in his mouth, because it just wouldn’t be complete without added chilies and allspice. Every ingredient had been a metaphor, of course. Ce had to be careful not to let the childish thrill of being huey tlatoani consume him, just like he couldn’t expect the chocolate drink to be sugary and sweet throughout.

He could become corrupted with his power, and his subjects could end up feeling bitter towards him. Even though the Land of the Eagle and Condor had survived many hardships, it still had many dangerous and powerful enemies all over the world, but mostly in Europa and even some within its own borders.

Ce could never be sure of making it through the next day alive, as someone could easily slip poison into his food, as unexpected as chilies in a chocolate drink. It had happened to Tizoc, an ancient ruler of the old Tenochtitlan, so perhaps it could someday happen to a ruler of the new. His people would have no use for a dead huey tlatoani.

Ce’s paranoid thoughts were interrupted by the Elder declaring that a feast would commence in honor of the coronation. It was the most lavish and beautiful feast that you ever would have seen, and it was a miracle that such a young nation was able to provide so much food to its citizens. Almost every dish had used one of the Three Sisters or a healthy ancient grain like quinoa. There were smoked tamales and stuffed turkeys, slabs of pemmican with fresh Saskatoon berries, Navajo tacos on loaves of fry bread, pozole soup served in gourd bowls, duck nuggets, wild rice, and rabbit stew.

For dessert, the Inuit had brought something they called ice cream, or akutaq. They offered it to the huey tlatoani.

“I’m sorry but I don’t think I can have that. I’m lactose intolerant.” Ce said.

“Do not worry, Revered Speaker,” an old Inuk said, with wrinkly skin much paler than Ce’s. He had long, straight hair the colour of dark chocolate, and laugh lines around his small, brown eyes with epicanthal folds that had evolved to guard against the cold, icy wind of his homeland. Ce recognized him as the man who had brought in the red inuksuk banner of Nunavut, and learned that he was named Atka after the midnight sun.

“Our akutaq just has caribou fat, cloudberries, seal oil and some tundra greens, all mixed in with snows from our Arctic homeland. None of it contains the white man’s dairy products.” He chuckled.

Ce smiled and tried some of the strange concoction, knowing that it would be rude if he didn’t and he didn’t have his lactose intolerance an excuse anymore.

As the feast progressed, Ce took some more time to make speeches.

“All of you have democratically elected delegates to represent you. These delegates will travel back to their sub-nations once the festivities that have commenced my reign have ended. I believe this system shall work to make sure all of the diverse cultures of this land are represented in some form or another. ”

Ce Tepuzmachiyopilcac ended up being the only one who dared to try the Inuit ice cream that night, along with the Inuit themselves and their new friends the Aónikenk of Patagonia, who thought the dish was a genius invention and wondered if penguin fat would work just as well as caribou.

The dessert for everyone else was squash smoothies with chia seeds, maple syrup candies, and of course liquid chocolate. Oceans of it.

“As our beloved elder has suggested, I’m also going to appoint two people who will help me rule and keep my power in check. One of these viziers will be from the Land of the Eagle, while the other will be from the Land of the Condor. But don’t worry, this won’t be some kind of dictatorial triumvirate.”

“Anything’s better than the white man’s way” Atka grumbled.

“You all have the right to rebel, for it is not the people who must fear their emperor but the emperor who must fear his people.”

And so the feasting and merriment continued throughout the evening, signalling the dawning of a new age for the people of All the Land between the Waters. In time Ce would learn that the revolution had been the easy part.

Excerpt and Synopsis from my Upcoming Novel "Deus ex Mexicana"

Synopsis

How do you build a country when all you have to guide you is an unfinished manifesto and the wisdom of your ancestors? This is the question that Ce Tepuzmachiyopilcac must answer after he is chosen as the leader of the people of Cemanahuac, a confederation of indigenous nations formed after an uprising in what was once known as the American continent. Ce's people are finally free after over five hundred years, but new enemies have sprung up all over the world and even within the very borders of Cemanahuac itself. The future of his country is in Ce's hands as he learns a very important lesson: the revolution was the easy part.


Excerpt 

Ce was handed a golden chalice by the Elder. It had been carved with a design of two birds, the mighty eagle of the North and the condor of the South, the emblem of the new nation.

“When you indulge in that luxurious chocolate elixir and then proceed to sit on your extravagant throne, beware! Don’t be fooled. It will seem like the most comfortable chair in the world at first, but it is really a seat of pain. You were chosen by the people because they thought you would be strong enough to endure struggle throughout your reign.” The Elder declared.

Ce drank deeply from the golden chalice, taking care not to spill a drop of the frothy chocolate drink. It was sweet at first, but the aftertaste was bitter. Then Ce felt a burning sensation in his mouth, because it just wouldn’t be complete without added chili powder. Every ingredient had been a metaphor, of course. Ce had to be careful not to let the childish thrill of being huey tlatoani consume him, just like he couldn’t expect the chocolate drink to be sugary and sweet throughout. He could become corrupted with his power, and his subjects could end up feeling bitter towards him. Even though the Land of the Eagle and Condor had survived many hardships, it still had many dangerous and powerful enemies all over the world, but mostly in Europa. 

Anticipated release date: sometime in February

The Mexica (Aztec) version of the bulletproof vest

Alright fam, so you've probably heard of Kevlar, a high-strength material used in bulletproof vests. It was invented by Europeans of course... without a doubt. However, here's a fun fact. Did you know that the Aztecs actually came up with bulletproof vests too? This was completely by mistake. Here's a picture I stole from Mexicolore, which is a really cool website that you should go on. I think I might add that to my link list. 

As you can see, it's basically thick cotton padding that was worn by soldiers. The cloth frame would be soaked in salt water to maker it really hard and then "paper-mached" into a thick vest and left in the sun to dry. You'll be surprised how effective this was. It could stop spears thrown by the atlatl and later they found out it could also stop the Spanish musket shots too.

In case you didn't know, the atlatl was basically a device used to make spear throwing more effective and deadly. It wasn't invented by the Aztecs but it was used a lot by them, and the word atlatl comes from the Nahuatl language. It's actually a super old invention from prehistoric times. The Australian aborigines also had their own version of it called a woomera (I may do a post on them soon lol as an off-topic fun post even though they're not native american. They're kinda my second favourite culture now). So yeah, the atlatl/woomera can go like 80 miles per hour xD . That's what the vests were originally meant to stop. But then they found out that they were bULLeT ProOF too! WhOa!

So anyway, the Europeans began to use the same type of technology. They found out that this type of bullet proof vest was also more comfortable than their steel armor. Armor was changed forever. 

You can learn about other epic Aztec innovations in this Ted talk I did: http://youtu.be/1DVWVlkAKuA
Note: copy paste the link into your browser if it doesn't work :P thanks fam. 

This story about Popocatépetl and Iztaccíhuatl has more feels in it than Romeo and Juliet

Alright, so this legend is Mexica (Aztec) and has been passed down from generation to generation. There are quite a few different versions, so I'm just going to stick to the coolest one. They're all really similar anyway. This story is about the mountains Popocatépetl and Iztaccíhuatl, which overlook the valley of Mexico, and why they are shaped the way they are. Popocatépetl is an active volcano and Iztaccihuatl is a very low volcano which has been inactive for thousands of years and which some say is in the shape of a woman sleeping on her back.

The story that I'm about to tell you is extremely romantic and will give you the feels if you're that sort of person, so I suggest you get a box of tissues and some soothing hot chocolate before you start reading it. Chances are that if you've cried at the end of the Shakespeare play "Romeo and Juliet", you'll cry even more after hearing this. 

Once upon a time, there was a princess named Iztaccíhuatl and a warrior named Popocatépetl who were i n  l o v e . However, Iztaccihuatl's father did not want them to get married. So he told Popocatepetl that he would let the warrior marry Iztaccihuatl if he returned from battle with the head of some person that Iztaccihuatl's father hated. The emperor assumed and hoped Popocatepetl would just die. 

I like this drawing because she's like "noooo don't leave me" and he's like "I'm sorry but I must." The artist's name is Nadine Takvorian.

While Popocatepetl was away, the emperor assumed he would die, so he arranged for a bunch of other suitors for his daughter. One of these suitors gave Iztaccihuatl the false message that Popocatepetl had died. Upon hearing this, Iztaccihuatl killed herself with a dagger. 

This is me at this point in the story.

Soon Popocatepetl came back victorious with the head of the enemy, but he was devastated upon learning  that Iztaccihuatl had died. He needed some way to honour her, so he carried her body into the mountains. 

Credits to Nadine Takvorian 

He stood there watching Iztaccihuatl and soon the gods turned the star-crossed lovers into mountains so that they could be together forever. That's why the volcano of Iztaccihuatl resembles a d e A d woman. Every time Popocatepetl remembers his beloved, the volcano smokes. That's the soul of Popocatepetl calling out to Iztaccihuatl or something like that. 

IDK who the artist is

It's a really moving story *coNSumEd by FEeLs*. What do you think of it? Does it remind you of anything that has happened in your love life? Were you once involved in a forbidden romance? Thanks for checking out this blog and be sure to follow!

Random post about axolotls + the possibility of starting a youtube channel soon?

This is really random and deviates away from the history theme of this blog, but then again, everything that I've posted recently does. In fact, Aspen's guestposts were more relevant than mine (the first crusade version was my favourite. Deus Vult! Ave Maria! No Nobis Domine!)  Sorry to everyone who followed because they were expecting legit serious posts about history and Mexica things! 

Cute creatures that I want as pets! 

Alright, so I'm going to start off with something that DOES vaguely have to do with Mexica things. Here is a gif of an axolotl. 

AWWWWWWWWW LOOOK HOW CUTe IT iS *SCCREEEEEEEEEEEAMS* 

The axolotl is also known by name "Mexican walking fish" and is SupER CutE. It is an amphibian that is closely related to the salamander. Sadly, this creature is in danger of going extinct. There are more axolotls today in captivity than in the wild. A survey done in 2008 had found 100 axolotls per square kilometer in the Lake Xochimilco habitat. BUT NOW THEY'RE ALL DEAD.  

Want to know something c00L about Lake Xochimilco? The place is a UNESCO world heritage site because it was once a very important agricultural center of the Mexica/Aztecs! 
>the feels when you've always wanted to go to Mexico 

RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPpppppppppPPPPPPPPpppp 

Aspen has managed to make me obsessed with sneks too, so I also really want a pet snake. Snakes are sooooo cooool because they were such important creatures in so many mythologies! One of my Danish internet friends who I met on DeviantArt 5 years ago drew a really really epic drawing once that had both Quetzalcoatl and Jormungandr in it! At that time, I wasn't really obsessed with Norse mythology, or I would have appreciated it a lot more... but I did think the Quetz was epic! 

Wait I managed to find a blurry af version of the drawing: 

It was one of her most popular works. I hope she doesn't mind that I'm sharing it. She deleted her DA account though so I can't even give her proper credit :( . 

It's sooooOOO beauTiFuL omg 

I also think that sneks are really affection8 pets and majestic af. 

Currently, I have 2 cats. But one of my German internet friends had lots of cats and snakes and kept them all together and they got along fine so maybe I'll be okay. I'll probably get a really small breed and nothing too exotic, perhaps a garter snake. 

All Aspen has are a bunch of sea monkeys and she's obsessed with foxes but she probably can't keep them. They make terrible pets and it's not good to keep wild animals in captivity anyway. I feel her though because I used to really want a pet bat but bats get really terrified in captivity and rarely survive more than a year, so I guess I'll stick to cats and tiny sneks! Perhaps I will get some sea monkeys like Aspen! 

This is a list of animals that should not be kept as pets. Some types of sneks, as well as fockses and bats have made the list! Beware! 

http://exoticpets.about.com/od/choosinganexoticpet/tp/TopTenAnimalsThatShouldNotBeKeptAsPets.htm  


By the way, should I start a YOUTUBE CHANNEL? 

I do currently have a youtube channel. But it's a really stupid one I use to upload things for school projects or Agar.io gaming sessions... or 7 second pieces of trash like this that don't deserve to exist: 

I made that to annoy Dral while we were doing a project on Slavic mythology! 

But I want to make a NEW youtube channel that will actually have legit educational videos to go up there with the greats like Crash Course or Extra Credits. 

I don't have an animation studio or the video editing skillz though. I mean, I couldn't even run a successful webcomic :( but maybe I could get squad people like Dral or Bren or Aspen or Vickyish to help me out. 

My webcomic on Serbian nationalism was supposed to change the world! Instead it did absolutely NOTHING but annoy Aspen a lot! 

Oh welp. 

My new years resolution was to be less annoying to my internet friends and to focus more on my writing, but hey, if I have time, I'm definitely going to start a youtube channel. It doesn't have to be fancy. I could start small. 

Also, I think it's time for this blog to get a new layout and colour scheme or something like that, so I'll be trying things out. In the mean time, have fun! 

That's all folks!

Read my stupid fanfiction and help me come up with a title for it please

Now, during the month of November, you may recall that I was very busy. This was because I was writing a novel for NaNoWriMo, which I won! Again! However, there are just a few problems:

1. The story SUCKS 
2. None of my friends want to read the whole thing except for this one guy in my history class who actually read it somehow without cringing to death. He said it was terrible but that it was still better than anything he could write. Wow... and he's a professional fanfiction writer who actually follows all the givens of the world on which he is writing the fanfiction for. 
3. No one can agree on the genre (Aspen hates it when I call it a fanfiction, but then what else can it be?) some people think it is a speculative fiction or even an alternate history. I think it would be an adventure or dystopian. No one is sure! 
4. The cast of characters is too large and no one can agree on who the main character is (this is how you can tell it sUCkS) 
5. I CAN'T COME UP WITH A TITLE FOR IT 

Now, will you children be so kind as to take a few hours out of your life and give me some constructive feedback? You can use the link in the banner above, or you can click here to read it. Feel free to leave comments on the manuscript! 

Read on for spoilers on the deus ex machina ending...

Now, I don't really have a title for this, which is a problem. If you read it, I don't care if you stop after the first 3 pages, you HAVE to help me come up with a title. It just really bothers me that it's this 125 page document just sitting there called "untitled", k? In fact, I'll give you a summary of the entire story in about 5 sentences and then perhaps you can come up with a title with that alone:

➤The 5-sentence summary: 

Once upon a time there was a super evil person who was suspiciously similar to Donald Trump who ruled over a country that was suspiciously similar to the U.S but also kinda similar to Nazi Germany in some ways idk probably because there were gas chambers and shit. Just like Trump, the super evil person didn't really like Mexicans, so he was mean to them in a way that was suspiciously similar to the internment of Japanese people during WWII but also kinda similar to the Holocaust but it didn't work because everyone rebelled and then the super evil person died. The end involved nuclear weapons too. Lol rip i guess. Ye. Here is the fifth sentence.

 Possible titles I came up with: 

• oh wait I didn't come up with anything because I suck 

The ending is extremely deus ex machina.

That's all, folks!